POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVIII, Issue 51, 29 August 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FIAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Wo shall believe in all this talk about television ■when we see it. * ■ «• ♦ " Amos-'n'-Andy": That gift of a baby sheep to Larwood is a noble ges- , tare in the interests of linpei-ial amity. It aims at making the' bodyliou lie clown with a lamb. « ■ * * . Goering, one of Hitler's gangsters, is ho vain that the wits of Berlin arc saying that ho has had facsimiles of his medals made so that- ho can wear them in his bath. ■*. ■.' ♦■■ , • ' Pontiff: If it is true, as. recently reported, that a mail was "sentenced to three months' imprisonment 'in .the Magistrate's Court/: I must protest. Me, I should much prefer to ■go back to Mount Crawford, wouldn't you? Tommy ■ Wilford saying farewell t» certain business men atf a social function in London: "And gentlemen, do not think me discourteous, but I represent New Zealand, bo cannot shake hands with you 'till we meat:again,' " BINDY. 'it -3- ' "■£'. ADD ODD PROFESSIONS. Meet the champion px-roaster of of Cradley Heath, Staffordshire. Ho claims to have officiated at over a thousand public roastiugs. . Johnson finds the job rather trying in an English midsummer,' Utmost ...as trying, indeed, as working, in'an ironworks. The fire has to be kept going for many hours, and he dare not leave it for long, otherwise the beast will .not be "well done right through."\ Heroasted l-(> oxen last year, and has done as many as 24 in. one week; , ■'■:■ .: ' ■ • . ♦ ■'. ' « ■»..,.; ■••■-..■■ ; APOLOGYPENDING. The printer sometimes is blamed for many tilings that happen\ ija. the high* pressure work associated Tri'<h the pro* duetion of a newspaper. Unfortunates things occur now. and again, as, for instance, the joining together with, a very; .unhappy result of two words in a simple little- personal para^'aph. which appeared in a provincial journal tho other day. The two words were ''uncle" anil "and," and they were used in connection with a paragraph recording a visit being paid by a Hawke's Bay resident to Manaia. But this is how tlia paragraph appeared: Miss , of , is on a visit to Manaia and is the gucbt of her unclcand aunt, Mr. and Mrs, SMOKING MAKES BLOOD SUGAB. Two Swedish scientists havo made a discovery of great comfort to devotees of my Lady Nicotine. Cigarette smok* ing is good for you. And how? Woll, ; your energy is calculated.scientifically; by your blood sugar strength. -.A, cigarette stimulates the adrenal gland?, which then rcleaso sugar into the blood. Blood sugar is energy fuel. When; your blood sugar is low you become tired and irritable. Smoking relieves these disabilities. The Swedish scientists—Dr. Erik and Dr. Stine Lundberg, working in the Boyal Carolina Medico-Surgical Institute in, Stock* • holm —found that a quarter of an hour] after smoking a ciga.rotte tho blood sugar concentration rose rapidly. This went on for half an liour. Then ife went back to its previous level. . As soon as biuokiug was resumed it brought another rise. Two American physiologists and one of Britain's leading medicos added their voices to tho pro-cigarette chorus from the Swedish, laboratories. The Britisher pointed out that nicotine, which is more deadly; than prussie acid, is rendered ineffom tive by burning. Ho. added: "If Loin don wero deprived of tobacco for & day it would' be the most bad-tem-pered, and' inefficient, city on earth; Irritable men cannot make wise de» eisions." •:;- « * BALANCED. So the Budget is balanced! —fcin^ friends, como to tea! So joyfully happy I am! I hnd plain bread and butter foe, breakfast, you see, But tonight we'll have strawberry jam. In the days of great Massey, he tool? a big slice Off our payment, retrenching for warj He cut us severely, and not once bul; twice— Kindly telling us what it was for. Did wo grumble? "Wo did'nt, for. what was the use? It was done for the land we adored; But what did rankle slightly—whe*' tight times came loose, Not ix cent of those cuts was restored. So come—and the great Public Service we'll toast Tn tho tea (with cream in It) iM drink; For, though mis-undcntecM hp tl*-gen-eral host, It is proved ft** «*r CtoAM calf think. Now let G-j-«?ge bo happy, let Gordorf be gay— In the end they will leave tho slat? clea'/i. Our financier's first name is Joseph, they say, And when has a Joseph been meant; A. » « * HOBI'S GRAND SALUTE. Perec Ehoa, —Like te Diggor, ,1a Pioneer don't go nap on te salute and plenty times ho get te good roar from • to officer, especially Hori. One day; Hori on guard at te Dump, an' as tings pretty quiet, he light up'te pipe. Noti long after, along como to big brass haty bnt Hori don't take te much notice. Well, tat Prigadier, ho "hit to roof properly, an' give Hori te good blast,but Hori say "Why I make te salute* eh? .To regulation say in te bla«k and white, tat to soldier don't salute wit' to pipe in to mouth"! Py eorry, tat get to Prigadier wild and he givo Hori to 10.day C.B. No bon for Hori. But te good place for no salute is Paris, Perce. No one worry te mueljf there. Hori and Ibe there for five day ; wit'out a salute w'en Hori say, "Look, Puri, te nex-' officer I see, I throw. t« good ono." Well, wq pronienard th« Boy de Bollong, an', soon we see Id worry big trump, wit' plenty ring* round te cap and on to cuff. Hori sayy "I t'ink t'is te Marshall Focb," an'when wo meet him Hori put over ta[ A.I. salute, better t'ah te Sarge-major. Tat Frenchman, ho bow and bow and smile, and Hori say,'' Py cri, t 'at went over big." He look over te shoulder," and te Frenchman still bowing and smiling. Hori say, "Tat te Foeh alright,'.' but I notice a lot of te people* ~ laughing, an' I think this funny. I see te Frenchman still bowing, an' X say '' Who t 'at man t He to Marshall Foeh, eh?" Well, those people laugh likeone ting, and xm'e say "Ha, ha, ha^ tat not the Marshall at all, tat man, he te grave-digger!" Well, tat knocK to stuffin' right put of Hori, and he salute no more in Paris. He took about forty Yin Blong before he eomo to. % help wit' tc Yin Blong of course.OOEP. PUBIPEEF. P.S. —You comprey te Paris, Percet Tat tc bon place. You come up bjd4 see me some time, I tell yoxt all about-Ift'