POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVIII, Issue 14, 17 July 1934, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

■V PERCY FLAGE

Definition: An economist is a. fellow who knows what to do vrith somobocJv else's money. It is as well to keep your head in a crisis because, after all is over voii Lnee<] ;t head to keep you. •Some of rhosi; German inventions for producing substitutes for raw materials seem to be doubtful yarns. '-■ ■ * . «- A_ "Welsh lady, now 101, has never seen a motor-car. Her other reasons for longevity are rather less convincing- * '.*'•' • : • According to a- "fit" par., astronomers assort that the sun will ceasa giving out heat in 50,000,000 years. Here's a text for sonio fino publicity by the coal magnates and hot water bag moguls. V * ■ *■,»-■-." HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF. : Flage,—This really happened. Tw<* Wellington yonths recently purchased an ancient model car and managed, with great good luck, ta tour the North Island. When passing through Rotorua they • met an up-to-date model of the same make whose driver doffed his hat. "Why did he do that?" said one youth in wonder. "Is ho making fun of us«" "Of course not," replied the other. "He is showing respect for old age!" ' NICOLAI.. * * ■* ■ ■■■■ WOKK—WHEN YOU GET IT. . :i3ear Percy,—l am very tired of working hard and would like you to try to secure a position for me on one of the thousands of committees in existence at the moment. I do not know what qualifications are necessary, but lam sure I have them. I can put a pencil behind my ear, and hold a bundle of papers in my right hand, and look wise. : EASY MONEY. .'*■ * *' ■•■■■•■■■ THESE JS A SMILE HEEE. "Johnny Gome-over," Petone foreshore, forwards a bunch of nonsensa .stone* from.which are republished thefollowing:— George went to 'a football match to He pushed and jostled his wav out and just outside the gates saw1 a mail stooping to tie his bootlace. th« , V: cU -Pla<*a kick, George sent the man flying. did you do that for?" asked ttie indignant stranger. growled George. "You're always tying your bootlace! " It was time for him to leave, but it was raining cats and dogs. ''You can't go home in this. Stay the night, George" she urged.- "I'll just go and put a hot-water bottle in'the spare; room.bed." - . ■ BWhen she returned, George was miss- _ An" hour later came a knock at thd door-ana- m walked George, soaked to the skm, wxth a parcel under his arm. . Ive been home :to get in* pyjamas!" he said.' .- : ■ T ' . ■' ".;. * " "«."■; ♦ ' "'-, ■ SOCKET-PLANE." ■■" Talking-of rocket-planes': Junkers. SS??11^,^ aye designed one to-fly al' 1000 m.p.h.-fa s ter than sound^-in the' stratosphere while carrying a load of mail aud ten passengers. A Germany]Scw York five hours air service is on» of the Experiments on this machine have been going, on for threeyears. Only a few scientists, direc■tors, of the firm, and high Government officials know anything about them. One o± the successful models Teas equipped; with folding wings. These-wings remained folded as the aeroplarif-lefb the ground, propelled at a terrific velocity by its rocket charge. .At a trreat! height, -when the charge had burnt itself out, the wings unfolded automatically and the model glided gracefully to the ground, making a perfect landing. Then a larger-size aeroplane was made, capable of carrying la pilot.* Before it was completed, however, the designer -was: killed. Now a full-sized machine is being assembled. It_ has unusually large extra-strong wings. The rocket charges are fitted at spaces a few feet apart along the rear edge of them. They will not all be fired at once. Two will be fired, and the aeroplane will take off, gaining height. As the speed given by this explosion begins to diminish more charges will be fired. The thin air of the stratosphere offers little or no resistance to the machine. 7 When -the aeroplane is miles high, a long glido will begin: • '".'*■ * ',*-■.■•" : TOO LATE., When Gordon Coates b.eeame a superX man ' • ■. He did some things in quite, a novel way. He got things done, 'tis true, som» people, say, By starting work some time ere- h» began ' - To think, and, thus, to form a valid plan To make things run, ana, happen as jt may, , To go straight on and certainly to pay A dividend—not be an also ran. Yet, sad it is for voters to relate, These unplanned deeds would never work out right, ■ And though his works deserved a better fate, ' ' His sad grey end is certainly in sight; Our poor old lad left thinking far too . : - ' . late To save the day—the passing of hjf might. P.B.F. » . • ' * -»■ DIALECT WORDS. If you were interested in that report of the trial of Kaye Don in the Manx court, you may like to con over these dialect words and their definitions, which aro taken from a recently-pub-lished book entitled "Mans Dialect":— '.Bardobii.—An elegiac poem, with or without music. "There was a bardoou. made for them"—drowned fishermen. Carry.—Clouds on the move; the drift of clouds. ("Lift" is "the.whole of the sky that can.be seen at once.") Tanks.—Close, crisp, level turf .for sheep grazing. . Firehouse.—A dwelling-house of the primitive sod-bni)t type, distinguishing it from outhouse or barn. : Glare.—A language. God's portion.—Odd money over the even pounds in dividing profits of a fishing-boat among the crew at the weekend. The money was devoted to charity. . '- , Meer.—ln old records, the boundary between two farms.. '.".'"" Seoraick.—A morsel, minute portion. Troy-town.—A state of untidiness or conf nsion. "Her house is a proper Trovtown,» . The age of man.—Three-score years and ten. "I'll be the age of man come next Hollantidc." • Do manners.—Behave, politely. To make oneself up.—To rise socially or" in vocation. High off the land.—Far out at sea. Rocking-horse weather.—Calm weathnr at sea. - . ' : Looking seven ways fotf-Sttttdajv-^Bs*. wilderment. ' ' i