POSTSCRITS

Evening Post, Volume CXVIII, Issue 13, 16 July 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRITS

Chronicle' and Comment BY PERCY-. FLAGE .-.,. Last week's experience at Trentham. convinces us that the only place'where tips eomc off is in the billiards saloon. Math. Prof.: Now, if I subtract 25 from 37 what.is the difference? Little Willie: Yeah! That's what I say. Who cares? In an old-world cottage in sleepy Bucks-village of-Wyeombe MkbU lir'm an old couple who have been happily married for 74 years. The Gloria Swansons and Peggy Joyces would get x laugh out of this. ■•■..».. *. ". .•■.■■• '.#■■ CRITICAL SUGGESTION. ■ Dear Percy,—lt is a pity someone did not send the members of the Government and Committee of Ways and Means a .copy o£ Article: 8 of the Ottawa Agreement: After .shelyirig for two years it has now been misinterpreted, as the duties on British., goods were to be reduced, not.. increased. Evidently. tha people "responsible were educated in a day school, and are uaable to read at night. ' MEAN WAYS. HEAVEN, ALONE KNOWS. / Beloyedest,— Talking about Mac West" stones, have- you heard this? Iv 3STe\v Zealand history we have a Paper Ministry and a Cigarette-Paper Ministry. In other words, "Is lie a financial wizard, or is. he a financial wizard?" Send me a stamped aud.addressed eny* lope and I'll tell you the answer..' EMMA BO VARY. "DRAWBACK" OF' DTJtV. j Dear Plage,—The 'other night I was privileged to attend a meeting, and to become a member, of the --Wellington. United • Roll-your-own Smokers' Association; This W.-U7R.Y.O.S.A. (not to be confused with a Wurlitzer) has iv its membership immediately become representative/ of .that -great- army of smoke-drawers -who have been, com-Pi?-+i tnrou2n. recessions in income taf whittle down to-a'corresponding extent: their expenditure upon the fragrant weed, and who, like James I of far-off memory, have often felt the "urge to emulate his essay"Counterblast© t« T_obaccoe.» But to get on with the story. ;Mr: Owen Lick' was elected president, and although the'ease against the; newly-formed association seemed tailor-made and cut and dried, a resolution was passed unanimously protesting against the whole fabrication of the cape in that it was' a tissue, a tissue, atisho—atish-00. (If is regretted that the president sneezed at this stage )' Anyway, to .get on with the story, it was decided to march on Parliament with Miss Tissue Book' heading the pro* cession busily engaged in rolling cigar* ettes, eyes, and stockings. Next will come the cut-tobacco bearers, each rolling his or her (yes, her!), own. cigari ettes and eyes; the latter ur a finef frenzy to heaven in protest against this persecution. Then (arid preceding tha rabble) will-coin© the spokesmen carry* ing. the spokes with which' to impede the wheels of. Government until such' time as the duty on "cigarette papers is repealed, oven as were the corn anff chilblain" laws of far-off memory. If we are not a "match",for Pariiameu^ wo shall have our « ' pocket lighter. ** Snuff said! • ; • ■ . .■ : '■":'..■ ' ■ : WINSH. .' '•■ -. * ..:-••■• ■» ■■;- -;"i••■■■■. -j ,;IN- THE NEWBOLT^.MANNEK. ! Printed for the edification of a loca* college lad who "likes a parody nowj and again' '-—this rhyme froni'' TrickS of the Trade," by the" then -J. <$. Squire:;— '■.•■■. ■> ;• : . ' It was eight bells anthe forenoon ant| hammocks ruknirig/ sleek ''. (It's a fair se?,. jflowing froia. tttQ west), ; '■"' '~"■'■■ •.- •■• -•■ ■ "When : i;he little Commodore came w \' sailing up the creek ' . .'■'.: (Heave ho! I think.y'ou'll know t&4 ' rest). ■■...■, ;.•'.' ;. ■-■■■■ ':■;'/■■ \'-~-. ■ Thunder in the..halyards and-horse^ . leaping high, '. - Blake and Drake and Nelson. are H*" '. tehin' where they lie, .' \"' . ; Four and twen£y blackbirds, a-bakial ' in a pie, . \\' ■ \': . '■ "> And- the Pegasus came waltzing frod) '■■_' the west. . ':..;- ".'•■.' Now the little Commodore a*fc steaM ■ on"his keel-" ■ -" ..■ ', /^ (It's:,a fair sea-flowing .from tta<| " west), v --,.- - .';'■ .' . . ■'■:-.; A heart as stout as concrete reinforce^ \vith steel ■ - - •..'.-.. (Heave, ho! I think you'll-know tb« ■' ■ rest).; ■'• ■-- ; ■■■'■:...•■..■. •■<■■ ■ ; Swinging-aid the scuppers, hark, tba rudder snores, : Plugging at the Frenchmen, downing 'em by scores. - ." ..■■ .., ; Porto Eieo, Vera; Cruz, and also tha ..'"Azores; ;■;' . ■'■ .".'■' ... ; .. ; Andthe Pegasus come waltzing fron| the west. • •■ ■ ; .-."'•' . ,; So three cheers^ more- for. the' littla Commodore , .--.■•■'-." (It's a fair sea flowing from thd west),. '.... ' .".'■;..'. I tell you-so again, as". I'ye told yoii so before . ' .-■•■■• . -• ■ (Heigh..ha! _I;.think,'you know th(S rest).. .' ' Aged is the-Motherland, .old,; but shfli is young . . '•''.•.■" (Easy with the '•tackle there —donTj release the bung), i And I sang a song-like all' the song^ ; that" I have ever sung : - ■ When the Pegasus came sailing fron% ..- the west. ■ :'" "•■ •'_'■"■ ;"• HOWITZER .'BROADCASTS.; ' Old Boys and Athletic" were honoured by the.president of the local Eefdees' Association presiding at their meeting, Those, articles appearing", in "The ' Post" , lately ou' the off side' rule had/ nothing, to do witli' ■'Saturday's., gamcy After providing, ideal Vwcather as a# offset to .other attractions thy game vrs% not 50 per cent. •:■■■' ~ .. : ' Tlie. AV.R.IT.Ui committee will. neei, to get all players, together, in faclj :hold ;v. C!iucus,to discuss'ways 'jindj means; othciwisc the. vegxilars will pro for to sleep at home ijj thcirainVchaira wliilst the ■broadcast .takes, place. * Tho white (tigers never.looked, like « team hoping to land the.^lo34 champion* ship. ■ . ■...-:• '~.-„ -> -. .'.. -~ ■ .Baldwin played on. one Vcg most ofi tlio game, but Wright , anil '..' liustui helped him out on many occasions. ■ A jolly good heave, said' Adam, »i tive blue and blacks pushed the white! bffi'.'the-'ftajl.-.' '7.;i-->,'-,t:a'.^rj^. ; .- : «.;■ ■.-.;-,

•Little Sadler gets,bigger every gnm^ The high light on~'Satu«lay was wbeif he side-stepped his own goal post t<]f start something that "finished; at th« ■other goal line. ''Snow Tindall was pot-hunting UmJ liiueh. Certainly 4. points read well oil tho slater Apologies.-for absence werd noted from many stalwarts. ■■:- ' Ivo -doubt after making Out their in* eome-tax, returns they felt the call oa Trenthani hopes were built thati a little might, be gathere'd\ to satisfy! thp commissioner who .fires' the shofi mado by our Minister of finance. ■ ' The Bay Gulls are flying neaneg headquarters. They settled at NewtowrJ Park but Marist* disturbed them ancll sent, them home.,."Wo .hope, to ,see tho' birds from the■-' Bay .in "1938.:' Abou^ time the manager' for" the 1935 touft was appointed^ These-busy-..biisinosi men need 6 tr> 12 months, to arrang^ tlieii- affairs. AYe lsn'ow of 6ne or twiK who could pa^k n bag^in ,a.,.cqnple ,orf< —that's just in case of eniergentigj