POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVII, Issue 83, 9 April 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

The trouble confronting the Disarmament Conference is that France is up-in-arms whenever Germany's name is mentioned. Says -AV.l'.—That old" proverb, "Many in haste and rcpcnl! .at leisure," is simply ridiculous. "Whoever heard of a married man having any leisure? »■ ■ * # ( i Overheard outside the General Post Office just before o'o'clock this morn-ing:-^-.One dry individual to another: "Here, come and help me post this letter, I can't lick the stamp."

NICE PKICE, TOO. Dear Percy Flage,—Referring to your par re the bookmakers' Easter egg, my "booliie" regards .imc. as "The Smuggler" of his Easter egg under "Tho Masquerade (r)" of a half-dollar doubla punter. DANNY BOY. , P.S.—I landed it at 150 to 1.—D.8. * » » REJOINDER. Dear Percy,—"Shellybait" may bt correct as regards bachelors—but Spinsters Preferring Independence" Naturally Suscejitiblp To ■ Eve.ry ■ . ■ ' Riul(! Slingoff! ' Don't accept—or 1 may come agaiul BAR. GINSKY. » . ■ •;;- * HOSPITAL ■ HOWLERS. Sister to probationer: Prepare a soda bath for the patient. Probationer (later, to Sister): I cau't find any more syphons, and tho bath's only a third full! Shall I try; the other wards? 3.45 p.m.: Sister to young probationer: Go and collect the eggs now. 4.45 p.m.: Sister, I've been .round all the fowlhouse.s and there are only two eggs.. Result: -Patients impatient at tea delayed. ' . Sister to probationer: Put the- milk in the steriliser. Later—Probationer to Sister: The • milk's gone all funny-since I poured, it into the steriliser. HOWITZER. . , * * * ' . ■ POSTED .. . MISSING. . "Willowec." —Not quite what we want, thanks all the^ same. ''Chappie." —Too, too long. Reduce by half and submit —if, you care to. "Breech o' do Promise." —Neat, but as you surmise, a trifle out of order. '' Barbara.'' —;Barbcr-ous. "Father Time."—Unable to grasp the point. "Tho Melon."—Sentiments appreciated, but versification missing on some cylinders. ■ ' ■• "Pal o' Mine," "Vee-back," "L.T.," and Others.—No more bouts rimes for the present; we have plenty;; in stock awaiting publication. "Sour Grapes."—Misses by a fraction only.

"Cassandra." —Cheer up.. Worse things happen at, sea. "Mac Nor.'-West." —You have tho ideas, but verse ,is not your .right medium. .

"Ballyhoover."—We'll think upo* that matter. **. * . , PISHING . WITH A MIKKOK. The Land of the Wooden Nutmeg has provided Izaak Waltpris everywhere with, an ingenious idea for assuring a full bag. Put a mirror on your fish hook!' It is reckoned and calculated by all 100 per cent. Americans that if you use this hook yoii ■will catch ten times as many fish in an hour .as you , would with an ordinary hook. This, the inventor thinks, is what happens when .the baited hook, with the mirror fixed just above the bait, is lowered into .the water:— . 1. Fish. ambling slowly around, se»S the bait. ■ ~ ; ■■ 2. Fish ambles a little nearer to m« spect more closely. ■3. Fish sees, in the mirror, a seeo*s fish doing the same. .4. First fish makes faces at secoo^ fish. .... .5. Second fish retaliates. 6. First fish, in panic, dashes for th» bait and seizes it. before second fisk; has a ■chance of doing the same. } Ecsult —well you can guess. ■'. . * :* * BOUTS BIMES. • Dear' Plage be abl» to make sense out of these. I can't. Alone..he stood with bowed head bare, And gazed' upon that silent, slum- . berous sea. „ , The., seaweed floating there like poor drowned hair. • ; _. - Ah mo, he sighed, her soul at last is , free. And never more upon the earth I'll sco ■ those eyes, Or wonder at her beauty, and her gracious charms. .. _ Why should she die! who was so kind and wise. And now that-dull, dark ocean holds her in its arms. Or one like this for a change: —. The caveman —fighter of the bear— , Knew not his A.8.C.; But if he wished .to catch.a hare, Well—everything was free. '' Ho troubled not to dot his i's, • The thought is full of simple charms; He'd never heard of zeds or y's, But he had strength in his great arms. From "Pcarleen," who titles M "Calf-Love":— Just boy and girl, with brown U&t bare, , ■Down by the stormy sea; The fierce "wind tore my tangled hair t The waves dashed wild and free, , He was a hero, in my eyes,

That day of magic charms; I loved —could it be otherwise When sheltered in his arms.?

. BIRD MIGRATION". . Plage,—Reading something about th"6 migratory habit of the godwits called to niy mind an article on the subject of bird migration. Tor some time the ornithologists of Europe have been marking touring birds by means of numbered aluminium rings. One of the most notable recoveries of a "ringed bird was that of a Kittiwake gull, K1054,. which was marked on the Farno Islands on July 2, 1929. It was retrieved exactly two years later on board s.s. Arctic Queen, a "factory" fishing ship engaged some hundreds of miles north of the Arctic Circle in that wide and desolate stretch, of sea to the westward of Greenland known as Davis Strait. On the day in question a great congregation of screaming- sea birds, fighting over the. offal thrown overboard, wore in constant ■attendance. One of these, bolder than its fellows, attempted to snatch a cod's liver from the hiiuds of one of the men working on the eatcli. It was captured by him, and, discovering a '"J"g °" i*s lc?> nc took this off and released the bird. It proved to be 351051.