REASON.

Evening Post, Volume CXVII, Issue 65, 17 March 1934, Page 18

REASON.

Liftman: Here you are, sonny. This is your floor. Superior' Youth: How dare you call me sonny! You are not my father. Liftman: Well, I brought you up, didn't I? .

Small angrily rang his neighbour's bell. "Look here," he said when Tall opened the door, "I must ask you not to buy your wife such expensive hats." . "And what's that got to do with you,?" Tall asked indignantly. -■' , : "A lot. ' 1 hare to buy my wife more expensive ones." '

"I'm glad to see you're so busy," said Smith to the local builder. "And how many men have you .working for you now?' ■■".". " : : " •.■-■••.•.... "Oh,^ about half of 'em/ growled the builder.. ' \.. ,: •.■, '" , .'• .: Manager: The customer /who has-just gone 'out said you showed her no courV tesy. ~ '; ,: •: -,■'.' ■. . ; ■■./, . •/.-. Assistant:: Then its'the only thing I didn't- show her. ~• . ''VVhyfdrf ypi»;a,lways open the Endows :when>.r'jS»iig,'Jfphj»J":'".-.'■-^C-,'■>;•':'---- ---■ "I 'MaM to pay Mi-. ITe&tdb'or out for letting/his. fowlsiinto.jnjr, -yard.- ..-.":-.'. . . Mother: That^ young man of yours is rather fastrisn'^ he?. ,; t■: - ■ ■ Paughterr yesj; butryptilneedn't worry —he won't.get:away>: '; -•'■(;-:":/. ..;. ■ "Yes, inadani/' the shop assistant a-°? wered ' "we stock invisible hair nets." I d like to see some, then, please." Judge: Was the waitress young or old? Witness: Do you mean when she took my order or when she served me? ' "blather," said an exasperated joun? ij yon w'onld n°t hang that old parrot in the parlour." )UJJy aot> ™y dear?" a^ked her mother. Why, I think he must have belonged to a tramcar conductor before you boueht him. Every two or three minutes, -when i ~is here> he chifPß out- 'Sit closer, please! It is too embarrassing for anything.'' ' ' , - Medical examiner: Suppose you should have a patient with Pome disease about nhieh you;knew nothing. What would you do? Charge him three guineas for the examination, then send him to you. Beggg: l[y \rife says that if I were to die she -would remain'a widow. Meggs: ,Evidently she. thinks there is not another man in the world like you. On the contrary, she's afraid there may be, and that she'd get "him. He had;; succeeded in selling the most expensive all-mains radio pramophone on the stand, and waS( mentally spending the commission when his customer's- -voice brought him back to earth. "There's just one little adjustment I'd like you to make," sh.e said. ''Yes, madam.'' "We're not fitted with '"electricity," .she told him; '"will yon have it • converted, please, for gas?" '"-•'' ■> Pa: .You were a tidy boy not- to throw your orange-peel down in the bus. Where aid yon put it? /_ - • * - \- , "TTreddy,: In'the 'pocket of the gentleman sitting next to jne v Jimmy, (who' had quarrelled with Johnny): If I were you' I should have, more sense. _ ' ' • - Johnny: Of course you would. Officer (addressing raw recruit): Xow, my man/ I want, you. to regard the 'regiment asa big band of brothers, and me as the,father of the' regiment. Understand? Recruit: Yes, Dad. Visitor:-, Why don't you raise your hat to me? Johnny: v I can't. It's not my hat —it's father's, ■v ' ' ' Herbert: What is the horse-power of your car? ■Ethel: I don't fiimr, but dad says it's a nightmare, Elsie (proudly): I suppose you know, dear, that my father'is a member of Parliament? t , , , Jack: Jfever mind, darling, I love you too much to let that stand in the way-, , "Mother," said the small boy, '"I 'do wish you would speak.to baby. He's sitting on the flypaper, and there are such a lot of flies waiting to get on."