POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 104, 30 October 1933, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

The paradoxical trouble with these frealc speed cars is that the turnover always exceeds expectations. • • • Notwithstanding Hitler's asseveration that his people's only weapons ar« their fists, that does not necessarily make the Hitlerites pacifists. » « • Whatever points Lord Raglan, scored with his running kick at the heroes of history, it is highly* probable that an Australian, the late Dr. Maclaurin, provided him with the -boot in those sharp, frank studies called "Post Mortem." « _♦ * A BIT MIXED. Counsel, addressing the jury in a motor accident case at the Supreme Court: By putting her foot on the brake she had a weapon in her own hands. # » « APPROPRIATE SELECTIONS. Dear Flage,—l would draw your attention to the latest French Cabinet, Mr. Sorrow's (I mean M. - Sarraut) team would appear to include the antithesis .of Hitler in the Minister of P. and T., M. Mistier, and who could wish for a better exponent of Foreign Affairs than M. Boncour. Also M. Stern fittingly makes his bow to the public as Minister of Marine, while his confrere of the Mercantile Marine is aptly named M. Rio. - < P. 0.8. •::• «■ * . _ ■ .' SUMMER HAS Y-CUME. 'Tis summer come, and youth cavorts And smells the swimming season near; And now the old man's slower thoughts Revolve on lighter underwear. The sky is hot; the breezes smack Of cool sea-salt. Depresh. is down. The bobbies push their helmets back—* Come, Percy—burn your byngie brown* HORIRI. « . * • ♦ CODE FOR HOUSEWIVES. And now here's a proposed code for housewives—set down by a New Orleans lady and forwarded to tho N.R.A. head: —Every housewife , shall be taken out to dinner at least onca a woek. Husband or some other member of the family shall dry all the supper dishes. Every. housewife is cn j titled to a minimum of two movie* weekly. Husband shall help children with at least half of home work. Every, housewife is entitled to 10 per cent. of family pay cheek for personal expenditures on self for clothes, cosmetics, etc. Every housewife (except where sickness or other emergency exists) is entitled to sleep late at least two mornings weekly. Every housewife is entitled to extra help for house cleaning. -*# . * v WHERE ENDS THE RACE? Apropos today's cabled reports of N.R.A. complications, this pungent comment of one of America's biggest and most broadminded editors: If wages go up, costs go up. If costs go up, prices go up. p prices go up, wages must go up some more. Thus the economic spiral rises with three items like thre» dogs chasing each other round * the track, all after the rabbit that climbs a polo in the middle of the spiral just ,out of roach of all three. , If wages afb ahead of prices', prices cannot pay; the wages. If prices are ahead, wages cannot pay tho prices. Always between, them is the galloping item of cost. "Which one ought to be ahead?

Questions like these give anyone a headache if he has anything in his head to ache with.

MONEY IN SWEEPS! In conversation with, a watersider ho , informed me that when things were all Al before the depression1 he never missed sending for a sweep ticket overseas. On one occasion at Trentham ho had,a big win of £20, and he invested the lot in Tasmania. At this time his mother was on holiday in Hobart. One morning, whilst working on Taranaki Street Wharf, he informed his mats that he expected tho telegraph boy at; any minute with a cable advising that ho had drawn a horse. Sure enough at 10 a.m. down came tho boy on his bike and gave him a Hobart cable. He was so excited that he conld not open the envelope, so handed it to his mate, and he said: "If the horse wins I'll give you a thousand," which promise nearly, led to his mate's collapse, through blood pressure. The envelope was opened and they both, read: "All well; mother leaving'for home by Maheno," and, as my friend said, that's the only blanky horse I ever drew. KAWATIRI.

"WHO'S THIS HEBEWABD?" Dear Percy Mage,—Your inquirer, Hori Makaire, has forwarded to you only four lines outof the sis of Maxim XV of "Certain Maxims of;' Hafts" ("Departmental Ditties and Other Verses"), by Rudyard Kipling, and he has misspelt.tho word that is causing him so much worry. He is, maybe, wondering what Hereward the .Wake has got to do with it. I cau assure him—• nothing. Delete the second, "c" front Hereward and he has wha.t Kipling wrote; add tho missing two lines, and ho gets a better understanding of why, Kipling used the word. • If She have spoken a.'word, remember thy lips are sealed, And the Brand of the Dog is upon him by whom is the secret re* vealed. If She have written a letter, delajj not an instant but burn it. Tear it in pieces, O Fool, and tho wind to her mate shall return it! If there be trouble to Herward, and m lie of tho blackest can clear, Lie, while thy lips can move and » man is alive to hear. As a further example of Kipling't use of that type of word take Maxinn XVI:— My Son, if a maiden deny thee and scufflhigly bid thee give o'er, Yet lip meets lip, at the last ward—get out! She has been there before. They are pecked on the ears and tho chin and the nose who arc lacking in lore. I would like to oblige Hori Makaire and send him a copy of the whole of the old man's advice to his son, but as there are nine'reen maxims I balk at the job of writing them out. It looks as though old Hafiz's last maxim has reached my heart: — '„ My Son, if I, Haflz, thy father, take hold of thy knees in my pain, Demanding thy name on . stamped paper, one day or one hour —re- ■ train.. Are tho links of thy fetters so light that thoui cravest another man's chain? Yours faithfully, ■R.C.K. Hori Makairo is indebted to J.S.B, and "Skipling" (Lower Hutt). also, who satisfied Ii is inquiry. I\P.B. —.T.L., Palmerston North, cor' reets "Hereward" to "llonvnrd,'.: niul adds: "Should your correspondent happen to get stuck, I would lend tho book through you. Jt. is :m Indian ' i edition, but alas! ;i seventh."