OYSTER.

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 123, 27 May 1933, Page 19

OYSTER.

An oyster met an oyster And they-were oysters two; Two oysters met two oysters, And they were oysters, too;. Tour oysters met a pint of milk, . And they were oyster stew.

. We have been readiDg a chapter ou sanitation in an up-to-the-minute doctor book, and find these instructions: — "\*ou should never kiss a member of your family without having first thoroughly washed your hauds and fate," . This presents quite a problem, to the business man, but it might be solved in this manner:— He should carry a small collapsible washpau in bis hip pocket; and iv his vest pocket a bottle of liquid soap ami small thermos bottle of hot' -water.. The minute lie opens the frout door of his home in the evening and sees his wife approaching with smile on face, he should jerk out the collapsible, pan, liquid soap, and thermos bottle, and begin the operation. 15.v the time ho has completely put the germs to rout, his wife has become discouraged aud gone back into kitchen . . . and he v.-oivt have to kiss her. Moral: "It's an il! wind that blows nobody pood."

"Some people would kick anywhere but in a football game," snorted the restaurant' proprietor. "I can't see what them epicures has got to complain about with this soup." "They wouldn't have no complaints coming, sir," ■•xplaiued the waiter, tactfully, "if only the cook would admit it's soup. He says it's coffee."

Judge: It seems to mo that 1 have seen you before. Prisoner: You have, your Honour; I gave your daughter singing lessons. Judge: Thirty years.

"Xow. girls." said tbe restaurant man-' ■igor, "I want you aJI to look yoiu- best today. .Arid a little extra dab of powdur to yum1 checks and take a bit more cure with your .hair." "Why, what's tlic matter?" asked the | bead waitress. "Butler bad attain?" j "No." said the manager, "'the bed's ] j tough." . ■■ ■

Tramp: Lady, won't you help' a poor man that lost his family in the Yorkshire flood and all his tnoijey in a crash? Housewife: Why, you are the same man that lost a family in the South Wales flood aud was shell-shocked during the war. ■'Yes, lady. I'm the uuluckiest guy ou the face of the earth."

It bad been carefully impressed upon Tommy that he must never ask for anything at the table, but wait until be was asked. One day his mother quite forgot to serve him. Everybody else had started the meal, but the little child's plate remained empty. After waiting patiently for a little while, Tommy asked: "Mother, what happens to little boys who starve to death?'*

Two lady members of the tenuia club, awaiting their turn for a set, were discussing the players ou the court. Said Ann: Have you noticed that Jim lauphs every time he makes a bad stroke? "Yes," answered Mabel: "and have you .noticed that he is always laughing?" .