POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 24, 30 January 1933, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE \ Indicating optimism, the Prime Minister says that although there are shadows in the valley, the Government is keeping its eyes on the sunshine on the. hill. ' That's, all moonshine. »'''*.* POLITICAL NOTE. "Dinky" Dhai," being interpreted, thinks that it would be quite the wrong time for the Minister of Finance to revive- his old-time slogan, "Coates and Confidence.'' *-* < * GROSS LIBEL.. Anyhow (remarks ' "Amos-_'-AndyV), when the Free" State is definitely detached, from perfidious Albion, all good and true homebred Irishmen, will have more opportunities to donnybrook among themselves, and shillelaghs will come into their own again. ....«-'_ ♦ INTIMATION. "What's the Game."— (i) It is' true, as you point out,'' that in 1929 at Lord's, in the second Test between England and. South Africa, Larwood knocked Cameron, the' Springbok skipper, "cold" with a bumper which hit him on the head. But, according to Wisden, the wicket on the last day. was inclined to make the ball "fly.'"' (2)' Better not; would only add fuel to the flames; (3) See "Post" notes of Saturday, page 14. '-"..- ■'*'•. . * « . OVERCROWDING OF UMPIRES. "Howszatter," who is our old friend "Howitzer" masquerading under a. load of cricketers' finery, makes his summer debut., 7<Being ono of those misunderstood umpires who stand all the afternoon counting and listening and', occasionally dreaming, I have a knotty problem on which to ask yonr advice. Maybe you can advise whether it would be wise_ to write a note to the M.C.C., . or obtain a local dispensation. - The latter appeals to me; it has nothing to do with the afternoon tea adjournment when thero is. no afternoon tea. Nowfor the problem. The fielding eleven and the two opening batsmen marched on- wearing sweaters, cardigans,: pullovers, and home-knitted sleeveless jumpers. The opening bowler, being a big he-man, discarded his old-fash-ioned sweater, which was nicely tied round the umpire's waist. No.' 1 batsman also was,of the old-fashioned school-,7. . his sweater-went around the umpire's neck, but when the. sixth change bowler, and the seventh, eighth, and , ninth. batsmen, being of the more recent school,-wore nicely-blended coloured sleeveless jumpers, the umpire, who, by this, time, had added.,two or three caps,-was in a quanijary how to aceomm.odate these otherwise harmless' • armless contraptions. "'-'. Now, should, this hot and glorious summer keep-on, - maybe our cricketers will take the field wearing boaters and panamas. Umpires are provided with coats, and no doubt you could-patent a specials hatrack arrangement to tide over this difficulty, or, alternatively, could, you--please" cable Mr.- Warner and ask what he would do in the circumstances. There is, of course, nothing in the rules to. say how much or how many; • garments the umpire shall carry., '-"- "«-.'""7-"»-'"7 :."'".;.". THE EARNEST YEARNE3S. I've lately paid a sub to the Earnest Yearners' Club, Of our tenets you would- no doubt ■ like to learn: Well, it just amounts to this—we •eschew all worldly bliss, 7 And sit around and yearn and yearm 7 and yearn— . Us chaps. : - -Wo: don" touch cue or card, and we ;; don't find it-hard 7To keep our thoughts from, sordid, '. mundane.things; And there we sit, demure, and think' great thoughts and pure .Of the recompense that earnest yearning brings— v • Perhaps! If our bank accounts are low we ma* . wonder why it's so' . Because we yearn so very, very hard " To be rich as Henry Ford, and we all with one accord, ' Consider we are most unjustly barr _ . - ~ , • By Fate. • ■ If there are some debts we owe—well, we haven't .got the. dough, And our creditors can go and have a yearn; - - It won't do any harm, there's a faint, '. elusive charm In yearning for Dame Fortune'! wheel to turn, . '. So—wait. We sometimes wonder why we're not landed to,the sky For the services we render to'taan- .'• kind, ■'--.. And we yearn for words to paint what" we are and what we ain't, - .. But to lack of recognition we're resigned % It's true. Now this yearning is an art, and to yon I'd fain impart All its mysteries,' advantages, and ■ . -°y-' . ".."".'-■'■ But ln case you should go wrong, well, you'd better come along - And oral demonstration I'll employOn you. If our methods you'd employ and our ; benefits enjoy, You will have to turn aside from worldly strife, And yearn for all you want, of achievement it's the font, And you'll be an earnest yearner all • your life— At least. Now, a moral you'll discern and doubtless you will yearn .To be as wise as yearning has made me. And, if yearning doesn't bring you sue* . cess and everything, Yearn harder yet and some day yot will be— -:-■-..- Deceased! ULYSSES. ': *■ * '*'.'.' BACK TO SANITY. Editor, Column 8, "Evening Post"— Sir, —I have been in camp on relief work, and came to town .to apply to a man in charge, of a big business for a job. Gazing at me with lack lustre eyes, he said, "Any alienist will tell you that we in: the c it y a^ a r_ mad. .You are in camp you say, loafing half your time. Well, half a loaf is better than no sugar." Handing me a shilling he said, "Here's a couple of bob. Who gives quickly giver twice. Write to "column 8, 'Evening Post,' Percy Flage, sanest man in town; makes us laugh. _ Get out!"- It does seem . that politicians and business men here have rats in their main chains, bats in the belfry, Jews in the Joss house, so I'm getting back- to camp, where we have peace and plenty. '.Plenty of time to eat, to read, to-smoke, to think, to sleep. No bug house for me, thanitt - .Yours, -, . , i ._ kool mxxsti j