POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIV, Issue 103, 28 October 1932, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE*

"Anios-'n'-Andy" is of the opiniott that Parliament would be a greater allround success if members did somai thinking before they spoke— not after. It is reported of a Sydney aviator, etc., who has just purchased a thoroughbred, that he intends to apply for a licence to "train himself." We wonder who'll put the horse through its paces? ■ * * » SARCASTIC SALLY. Dear Percy Flage,—Concerning Canoa Percival James's sermon to the effect that faith-healing is all bosh, it just occurred to me to wonder how many; doctors are in the canon's congregation?— Yours spitefully, ' - AKAWA. * * "• # AFFRIGHTING POSSIBILITY. Annotating yesterday's cable news of the glut, of meat in Britain, due in considerable part to increased produc- ™? in New Zealand and Australia, -Billy Tea" wonders what would beeonie of us all if the Old Dart suddenly went vegetarian. -*. - * * NAUGHTY! Dear Mr. Flage—Someone said you were asking for an epitaph. How's this? But please don't sue me for libel. Here lies poor Percy .Flage. _ Oh, please, don't look so solemn You do, sometimes, I wag"c, If o"nly in this column. Yours as "EVAH.?» P-S.—l hope this won't make us en* mies for life. •■'"■*■ ' ■» .■-.-.■ " THANK lot,, GRAN. Dear Percy Flage,— Please tell "John Doe" that he will nnd many references to Attic (?) salt m the Scriptures. One is in Colossians IV-'m. <Let your s Peech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye are to answer each one. Another is to be found in Mark, is, 49-50:". . .'Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another." ■•..., I could write oceans more about salt, but must hasten to the post. , Best wishes froni ; GKANOFLAGE. ..*.'» «. ' SMOULDERING LEGISLATOBS. Mr. Walter "Winchell—sorry Mr. Percy Flage, "Evening Post,"— A contemporary makes the Statement tnat some ex-embers" of the H of E- are expected to be appointed to the Legislative Council. Don't you agree > with me that the appointments should be the whilom bright sparks of 'said House? Or do they expect a Phoenixlike burst of glory from the burnt-out' gentlemen? ' ' - : G.T.W. * *•*.■■ BIOLOGICAL CURIOSITY. He was a canary "fan," and ex cessively proud of a cock bird which.' had taken a prize in-his section at a' local show. His interested friends congratulated him, and life took on so to speak, a cheerfuller aspect. There came the time when this Wellington, enthusiast prepared to mate the prize-' winner with one of his hens in order to breed further winners. The place was' made ready, after the fashion of fanciers, with the nest and everything else, in order, wlien the proud owner noticed that the prospective father did not seem to be.quite himself;he appeared ruffled (literally) and. somewhat introspective. The case called for diagnosis, so theapparently ailing bird was hastened off to have his pulse felt by the judge who had awarded him a high place amon» his sex at the show., While the expert was feeling the patient's pulse, or whatever is necessary in the case of a canary, this cock'bird suddenly, and with-: out warning, laid an egg! What the expert and the owner said' is not recorded, but you can imagine their eyes popping. This true story matches one Which was published in this column in earlier days. It told of a canary in the South of England which swept theboard show after show for the best cock bird exhibited, only to astound tha fancy by nonchalantly depositing aa. egg as to the manner born. It Jiad deceived as to its sex not.one authority, but a.dozen. * * ■.■•.♦ POT-BOUND. Dear Peree,—"To plant ourselves ia a bigger pot, and water the roots, is the wisest advice I can give "— Countess of Oxford.' ' .■: .. "Plant yourself in. a bigger pot Is the Countess of Oxford's advice— Now, don't you like the tone of those words, And isn't the sound of them nice?' Not "out of the frying-pan into "tha fire." - - •■-•" Gadzooks!1 Nothing common like that. To say nought of the common-o '-garden phrase . . . \ . Of "Sizzling in your own fat"! No! "Plant yourself in a bigger pot'lAnd* watch and see yourself grow. You may be a turnip, "you may be * peach, ' ' You never can tell, you know. MAISIE- . Lower Hutt. •* .*.. ■ ■*■ . . REJOINDER. Bear Sir. Flage,—"Mae's" babblings are so incoherent and inconsistent that one is at a loss to know how or where to commence a reply. After decrying originality ia the nature of drinks and method of absorption thereof, he gives unstinted praise to •'Bulldog" Drummohd for his" "highly original habit of drinking beer at breakfast. His suggestion that this person's popularity is enhanced thereby is too piffling for further commentj but anyway, is popularity any indication of merit? My ignorance regarding "Tim and. Ku" is certainly perfect and complete, but I fail to see that there is: anything "appalling" in that—l will even go so far as to say that knowledge might, more appropriately, be sodescribed. If, as "Mac" states, "Tim and Ru" is incapable of originality, then I am sorry for "Tim and Ru," but I never suggested that he should be original in his drinks, but in his thoughts. Although I feebly and gropingly strive for originality of thought and expression, lam smugly content to be unoriginal so far as drink is concerned-—tea, my favotirite drink, was in daily use by millions for centuries before beer was ever thought of. Unless '' Mac "is considerably more ..mature than his writing would indicate, I venture to say that his ignorance of the, "good old fashioned stuff" is abysmal (not to say appalling). The modern liquid popularly referred to as "beer" is a mere travesty of, the decoction originally brewed under that name. Does "Mac" know what a "brewer's chemist" is? And how long does he think it is since such a profession, came into existence? Finally, let mo assure "Mac" that when it pleases me to write on tea (or on anything else) it will be original and not something "that goes lik# M something else. seepoletthj