POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIV, Issue 50, 27 August 1932, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Mollison, now enjoying himself in New York, still possesses the same 67 cents he lauded with in Canada. No wonder ho has postponed hia return across the Atlantic. * » * ' There is this to lie said for the depression: it has shattered the ancient belief that a man was necessarily a big man because he held a big job in a big concern. * * * That story in Friday's "Post" anent the destruction o£ whales calls to mind that one of the quaint perquisites of Queen Mary is the tail of every whale captured off the coast of Britain. *. » • Dear Percy,—Now that Ottawa it over politically, don't you think there will be a hotter war, commercially on soon? : TEMPLATE. * * * JUST DOGGING HIM. Ad. wail from an. Oregon, newspaper:— Lost, a black hound pup. When last seen was following a man, with a white spot on his hind leg, a few whits hairs on his breast, and very large drooping ears. Well, that was pardonable canins curiosity. , » « * FOBTUNE AND MISFORTUNE. Headings in the news— ' PLANETS ABOVE. A FOETUNE FOBMULA. Eathei'j we suggest, an unfortunate formula for the soothsayer, when the Court proceedings terminated. He should have tried the planets that shine effulgently beneath, for a change. They're the more mysterious. * , -2- ~r IT TAKES PEESITENCE. Dear Mr. Flage,—l was thrilled f the marrow to see my previous contribution in print—please, is this good enough? 'Midst the news "The Post" has brought us We are told the wily tortoise Takes a year its eggs to hatch; This is surely hard to match. And you cannot call it lucky To, for such a time, be ducky. SEBPOLETTE. * » a TO"0* HAVE TO DIG DEEP.. Dear Mr. Plage,—l didn't think the late G-. W. B. Eussell, widely-read Irish poet and author, who wrote many beautiful things, was capable of it—"it** being telling the following story. There was an ambitious baronet, entitled by his rank, to wear beneath, his dest the Bloody Hand of Ulster. Now this gentleman, was terribly anxious to be made a peer of the realm and so nnbnrdened himself in the right high quarters. "If you are," said the statesman whom he approached, "you'll have to put your B . Hand in your pocket!" As you know, most omniscient, one, that is a gesture which, to a certain extent, all recipients of honouri have to make. DELIRIOUS DAN. * « * SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that— (1) Bride, groom, best man, and bridesmaid at a Middlenich (England) wedding last month were deaf and dumb 1 Au '' interpreter assisted the Minister with the ceremony. (2) Federal secret service ageats in U.S.A. have laid bare Capone's huge liquor organisation and destroyed about two million gallons of "bootleg" beer? (3) Many a. man who thinks himself a little lower than tho angels would be surprised to know what they think of him ? (4) The "boater" king is not Edward P., but a London boniface nho~ started wearing straw hats 32 years ago and has-worn, one every day, all the year round, ever sincel (5) About five years ago, attached to the medical section of the Boyal Australian Air Force, Point Cook, were: Sergeant Sexton, Corporal Graves, and the medical officer was Dr. Cherry. The M.O. supplied the Stone. (6) Discussing "swim suits," aa American commentator declares that Uncle Sam's beaches this summer look like the shower room of a golf club on ladies' tournament day? (7) Another queer calling- is that of the "Knocker-up" Down. liimehonse way a woman has a long pole -with, which she raps on the window of hec "patrons." (S) The ancient house* of Bourbon, has agreed to pool all cash and other assets, place the lot under the control of a royal board of directors and administer the common wealth, estimated at £32,700,000, for their universal benc- . fit? (9) An Australian bullock was found dead with a horn penetrating its hind leg just above the hoof? Apparently the animal had tried to scratch its' head while lying down, and was then unable to free itself. (10) Under the new Eepublican constitution giving women equal rights with men, feminine bull fighters have reappeared in some of the Spanish arenas' SPEIN'G SONG. The northerly blows clear and kee» Across the ridges quick with green. . « Wo simply don't possess a bean. To spend on furbelows and frills, Or fat cigars or diamond rings: No longer can we buy such things, But in the gardens there are wings Above the stately daffodils. For all diplomacy's finesse The world is rather in a mess, And it will take some time, we guess, To loose our chains and set us free, And find a path out of the maze Through which the sua bursts not these days. Why worry? In the gardenways The daffodils break goldenly. Are you with chilblains sore distressed? Does indigestion spoil your rest? Have all your "sure" grand slams gone west To crown for you life's load of ills? Don't grow morose and join the Grumps, Who, like the oonts, love wearing humps— Down in the gardens there are clump* Of newly-come proud daffodils. P.S.— Or you should see our bold Suzette, The darlingest girl puppy yet! «■ ■» . * HAVE AT THEE! Dear Percy Flage,—ln ro the matter Ananias v. Ana Nias. And so the original (?) Ana Nias has reappeared, eh? He (or is it a she?) must be as old as that joke ho tried to put across. Well, on reading his challenge, I hurled to the ground my left-hand knitted mitten with the hole in the thumb. The fight is on, gadzooks!! Any time, any place, and may the better man (e'est moi, monsieur) win the day. Don the gloves, and let it be "Time, gentlemen." I make one request from the arbitrators. May they steer clear of the subject of calves on heifery possible occasion, or I'll score a buU.—• Yours till tho cows come home,

.ANANIAS,-