POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 118, 20 May 1932, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE.

Chronicle and Comment

You remember that Barkis was willin',- but now it is Willis who is barkin'.—See the sharp note of New; South Wales's new Premier to Lang'3 Agent-General in London. / ■ * ♦'••.*-•■.-: Headline in "Post":— ■ STOATS, WEASELS, AND HAWKS,. Sounds jolly. Do ire -whistle it to. the tune of the popular ragtime ditty^ "Corns, Bunions, and Warts"?' ! *. ■ * - * ' f little beight ,?bobs" gone i ■ west. ";■••• >! When the saved-up sum. has gone iritKthe rest, ; . ',-'■■ - . ' • _ " That tax of a~bob hurts full sore; But perhaps it is all for the best, ; .' Tor, Coates; nijw can't get any more,' (Not from me, anyhow.) -,- ■ ;■'.♦■ H,* ■•'. "'*• ' ;'■-■ :■ * ■ ■■- one wAT-otrcv* ; .:; j It is common knowledge that Britain's problem'in India is one of almost terrifying magnitude and complexity, but while the Hindus and Moslems love one another so intensely, the; problem;, given time, may solve itself—providedthe Eaj continues M;o supply the ambulances and hospital accommodation;. * • * '•»■. FUN IN THE ADS. . , . ~ : Sprightly advertisement in an overseas journal:— "Where arc you going to buy pretty pants?" ; . "The Heoliii Dozen, sir, she said." To avoid any misunderstanding, it. has to ,be added that the Heolin DoSea is the name of a British paints house. . '• ■ ■■* * . * ' A CANDID MINISTEB. .-:'-' Commenting on the decision of the chairman of the Wellington Citizens'- *"" Unemployment Committee to resign, which was followed by the resignation, en bloc,of that conscientious body, the Minister for Employment—we iiear- : ly wrote "unemployment"—said that "he realised that llr. Goldsmith could no* "c expected to carry on indefinitely. Which is:-what most people -would think when they read the whole story in "The Post" last evening. ' * '♦''■■■* ;: j COMPLAINT. ;■-.•. • Dear Percy Flage,—l have a coni« plaint to make against 2YA, and am using your column to ventilate it. While appreciating to the full the ex-' cellent arrangement which has brought three'fires to the vicinity of the studio—one on the north, one. on th» south, and now one to the eastward—l do think that listeners are entitled to have the events listed in the printed programme. Perhaps before the conflagration to the* west takes place something in this direction may be arranged. By the way, there should be good business to be done with those who hold property on the sunset side of tie • studio—insurance business I mean. There is an old saying arient" bringing the mountain to Mahomet if Mahomet will not go to the mountain, which, adapted to the radib'station in question, wotjld seem to make it likely that the locale will soon be changed. ; ..:..' OBGANISEK. ■'-I'■"■'■■■-; ».--,;■•.■-♦ v- ■-■ .'.*.-.1.-; 5 ,,.;,; ; :, • " HUBBTJB. : ' ■;-.•. '■■ '.'Then were these men brought before their examiners (Magistrates) and there charged as being guilty of'the' late hubbub that had been in the fair. Others, replied that, for aught ; they could see, the men were quiet and sober and intended' nobody any harm, and that there were many that traded in the fair: that were moro worthy to be put into tho ■ cage than, were these men." (Not about recent riots, but written by John Bunyan over two hundred and fifty years ago.) • ~ Now what price this name from "Pilgrims^ Progress" for some members, of one of our political parties:—"Mr. Facing-both-ways"f •■/ "Eosalee.'' ■ '■ ■ ; c* '- * .'■•'.. .'.•■■ TRAGEDY OF A HAT. J Dear Percy Flage, : This is a true incident, not one day old. A young man stood upon the, Quay ; Gazing not at you or me, ' ' . ; '.- But at a damsel fair as fair, "' With milk-white cheek and silken hair. Anon he had to say gpod-bye, And raised his hat her smile to try. When from, the South a sharp wind blew; - ; ■.-.-.-, It.caught his hat ere quite he khewj; ' \ And in a whirly-wirly way .^. ]..- Dropped it on the hard highway, ' v ! ' Wherewith a shriek to- raise thine iair-^ i The damsel sprang as it* lay'thai*. Alas for him, for her, ior me, • ' ] She 'did not very clearly see, . •••'' ' Thus when her dainty feet eaaie dow»| : They landed plump upon, the crown, Forcing the hat into the mire; . ! A deed to raise her loved one's ire. 'Twas then he moved with manly striii The hat beneath his coat to hide, l When from the building Ijpiposit*, Whence some folk had observed his plight, Broke forth a laugh, a nasty langh. ', . To make him wish he had a. staff. ' £ ■ • Then came the razzberry hot, and so, Thinking that he had better go, He seized his hat and fast made off—». ( A much demented city toff. .-•-'. The rabble laff, it then died down. And the South wind blew on down' thai > town. .■•■■.- ■ • , PEEEBEEK.'- ' ... s '* ..-.v v ,U .^.,... -". ■ WHEN THE REFEBEE "SHOWED} OFF." "It was during the tour of the 1924 All Blacks," began the raconteur, deftly coaxing a home-made cigarette back to life, "and the battle was against Wales. As you may or may not know, for every game two balls-are provided; one is for use, the other goes as a souvenir to each member of the visitors in his turn. This time it was Cyril Brownlie's turn, and ho deflated his and packed it away in his 'grips. 1 The teams entered the ground with the emotional Welsh thousands, raising their usual , musical pandemonium that precedes an international'clash. The referee/appeared in front of the stand and went through an impressive ritual of testing the ball, for, as it were, perfect phy-_ sical condition for play. After ho had massaged and thumped" it'melodramatically,, he threw the bay testily aside as having some fault, and bawled for the other one ... nestling deflatedly in Brownlie's trunk. Meanwhile a" section of the crowd in the ' stand had swarmed over, retrieved the disqualified ball as a mpmento, and returned to their seats. The referee, more histrionic than ever, awaited with growing impatience the substitute ball. Presently one was bounced into the official's hands. Once more the ball was subjected to, the same critical test for playworthiness. It emerged.successfully therefrom, and away they went. And it wasthe ball rejected with scorn/but' a few minutes previously and which had been returned to the referee without him, knowing it." "■'"-.. .~x.ll i