TRAINS IN SPAIN

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 118, 20 May 1932, Page 9

TRAINS IN SPAIN

TOURIST'S ADYEXTUKE

EXPENSIVE BREAKFAST

HOW-TO LOSE ONE'S ' LUGGAGE

At 8 o'clock on the morning of the Bth November, 1930, accompanied by my former mate, I boarded a train at Lisbon en route for London, via Paris (writes Captain H. Liddell Mack)- I glanced at the carriage and noted that it was labelled Lisbon-Medina, indicating that we would not have to change carriages for twelve hours at least. On taking my seat I noticed some .leaflets in French, and Portuguese intimating that a restaurant car was .attached to the train. The natural inference was that one could safely dine there without losing one's seat; at any rate, I inferred that. As soon as the train pulled out of the station I made my way to the restaurant car and ascertained that breakfast would be served at midday—they call it breakfast, but it is the 'principal meal of the day. Promptly at noon I made my way again to the car, my companion refusing to join me. I did not hurry over my breakfast, there seemed no Teason why I should. The train' stopped at a couple of stations, I noticed the name of one only, Coimbra.^ Having paid for my breakfast, four shillings only, I made my way.back to the carriage— it simply was not'there. Getting hold of the conductor I ciuleavourod to explain the situation. I can. speak Portuguese or Spanish well enough for ordinary purposes, but when it comes to a case of involved explanations I am stumped. . Eventually in one of the carriages we found a man who could speak French and I learned that my carriage, slipped at Pampilhos, was well on its way to the Spanish border at Villa Formosa while the portion of the train I was in was on its way to Oporto! Pride goes before a fall —as the copy book says. I had travelled by every well-known long distance route all over the world; moreover I had published-a species of traveller's guide and yet I found myself in a hideous tangle like the veriest tyro, I had no hat, no overcoat, no passport, no ticket, nothing but, fortunately a fair supply of money. The conductor was politeness personified when he grasped the situation. He would stop the train at the next station, Praia dcs Pinas, would telephone Villa Formosa, and have my* effects removed from the train. J must return to Pampilhos, and could join the express at ten that night, all would be well. This sounded 0.k., but I was to learn later that other things besides trains don't always j-un to schedule. "Wo pulled up at Pine Beach at 1.30 p.m., and I heard the station master, giving telephonic instructions to Villa Formosa regarding my chattels. I had to'wait until 3 p.m. for a train to return to Pampilhos, a distance of about 35 miles. Fortunately for me. tho weather was very fine, so taking things philosophically I basked in the sun and tried to pick.up a crumb of worldly wisdom while- waiting. I learned on that station platform, that only the Latin races can wear rags with distinction. We left for Pampilhos at threo and arrived at B.3o—average speed seven miles per hour—there's rapid transit for you! A CONSIDERATE CONDTJCTOE. The conductor of this train spoke French, and he wa3 much concerned about inc. He, Reared I had no money to buyr cigarettes with, and actually offered me the equivalent'of ten shillings for that purpose. Taking into consideration the fact that his pay. was certainly not more thanthirty shillings a month his offer was most handsome. When wo arrived,, at Pampilhos this conductor, kept his train waiting twenty minutes-while he was hunting up thostation master. This functionary spoke French and, holding me with a glittering eye, informed me that he had received a message from Villa Formosa to the effect that no goods of mine were found in , the train—l am quite sure he thought I was not telling, the truth. -When . I suggested joining the express at ten he laughed the idea to scorn— with no hat, no coat, no rug, and attempt to cross the Sierras at -night?—he wasn't going to have- me freeze to death in his train. No, I must sleep in the Hotel Chalet Suisse and take the train next morning at 5.30. The night air was blowing coldly through my scant locks, so I thought it wisest to do as he suggested. The Chalet Suisse was clean and. comfortable. Moreover, they carried out my instructions to the letter. At five a youngster- called me and he *would not leave me .until he saw me on my way to the station opposite. Here I found only the assistant stationmaster. 'Ho could not speak French and tried to steer me to the booking office to' buy' a ticket, but I understood no Portuguese. At last in despair he conducted me to a'.firstclass carriage and left me to my seventy-mile journey over fHS ■ mountains—we managed that in eight hours. It was Sunday morning, the train seemed to stop at every tiny station and -even take on passengers where there was no station. Despite a brilliant sun, the morning air was very cold. Twq- stations prior to our arrival at Villa Formosa, a railway functionary who spoke French boarded the train, told me he had examined my carriage, saw the effects I had described, but said my mate' insisted they were his. I did not believe this, but I knew Forman had only one language at his command —hence the misunderstanding. To- cheer me up, he said I could not cross tho border without a passport; I would have to wait until my luggage was returned from Paris. I told him there was no use trying to jump fences before you came cto them. All he could do was to introduce me to the chief Spanish Immigration Officer and leave the Test to me. EFFECT OF THE EOYAL COAT OF ARMS. This he did, and the official asked m% what documents I could produce. I exhibited my master's certificate and a letter from the Admiralty. He could not read either of them, but the Royal Coat of Arms on tho latter evidently impressed him, for ho pinned a permit on to my certificate and I took the train on to Fuente d'onoro—three miles across the border. Tho train went no farther. My position was still far, far from gay. As it was Sunday, I could send no telegrams, I could get nothing to eat, though I could have drowned myself in wiiie for a couple of shillings, and, worst of all, I could not see how I was to pursue my journey. Whatever may be the custom elsewhere, anyone hatless in Spain or Portugal is painfully conspicuous. An armed guard, with a genial face, was on the platform. I asked him if it were not possible to procure a head covering. He replied that, being Sunday, trading was prohibited, but if I came with him all would bo well. He shouldered his carbine, led me to a shop, where he roused out tho proprietress, and in a few seconds I possessed a jaunty blue biretta or, more correctly, boina. THE LIE MAGNIFICENT. At three in the afternoon the stationmaster at Villa Formosa joined his friend the chief at Fuento d'onoro and informed me he had received a wire from Medina from tho mate. He was waiting there for me with my luggage. All I had to do on arriving at Medina was to see tho chief of police at the station and he would set me right; meanwhile.he would wire the said'ehief

of my being on the way—ho )ied most magnificently. So far'l had. avoided paying, any extra fares, but from this on I had to. Tiio train for Medina started at li p.m., and the entire staff saw me into a comfortable, well heated carriage and with a hundred expressions of goodwill sent me another step on my journey. I regretted that it was night as we passed through such historic places as Burgos, Salamanca, Valladolid before reaching Medina at midnight. There I soon found the chief of police, who told mo I had been misinformed; there was no luggage of mine there; no Englishman was within miles of Medina, and he- had not been advised of my coming. By this time I was heartily sick of spinning my tale of woe. I could do nothing without Spanish money, and the banks did not open until ten on Monday morning, so I found a comfortable bedroom in an annexe of the station and left things until the morrow. Bright and early next day I explored the town of Medina, ransacking all the hotels with grandiose names and rather squalid interiors. I do not know whether the Spaniard is honest above suspicion or not, but I do know that I entered these hotels between seven and eight in the morning," wandered through the kitchens, etc., without seeing a soul to question my coming or going. To be sure, there was usually a big dog who eyed me sleepily, gave a wag of his tail, and resumed his slumbers." I assured myself Fonnan was not in" Medina. ' As soon as the banks opened I converted some English money into Spanish, booked a- passage ,to San Sebastian, and set the wires going to Paris and London. At Hendaye I was met by erne of Thos. Cook's men, who smoothed the way for me to Paris, where I arrived on the morning of 11th November, Armistice Day, a public holiday throughout France. I recovered all my effects and eventually reached London two days behind time. That breakfast cost me in all £8 10s. Some of this I recovered through Messrs. Thos. Cook and Sons after some delay. The moral is look before you leap into a restaurant car on trans-eontinental trains. ■ >