POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXI, Issue 81, 7 April 1931, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGE Though it has escaped general notice, tvo bog to draw attention to. th» fact that on last April Fool's Day th» now im-financial year began. * * * REFLECTION. Unless wo are the perfect dunce, Those million Easter eggs unsold Will havo lo spend the next twelv« mv nee. " Far from their hens —in storage cold. If Gandhi's "health" could b» described as shattered, wo are prepared to fall for the story that a sandfly h»s had to lay up because of heart trouble. * - * • According to a Sydney visitor, what is wanted in Australia is' a leader.—* What about New Zealand doing th« right thing by her sister. Dominion and lending her own Mr. Fletcher, M.P.? «• » ■ ■ ♦ . "Easter is not all chocolate eggs and excitement," asserted a preacher at Sunday morning's service. If the reverend gentleman were m mother, he might hesitate before making so sweeping a statement. * ♦ * Australia breathes freely again. Mr. Lang's newest lady love, "naked communism," which looked to us a full sister to Epstern's Mrs. Genesis, turns out to be merely a wax dummy in. home-made "shorts" fashioned of * tattered Bed Flag. * * .* It appears that America's Fifth ave.nuc aristocrats were quite unperturbed when their Easter parade in dazzling finory was burlesqued by a procession of men and women on or below the bread line. —We can admire such nonchalance- the more when it is reiuembered that the demonstrators ought to, have been on their jobs, selling applea by the pound at street corners to the passing bourgeoisie or millionaires and millionairesses in Bolls Koyce oars, * * * :! Dear Percy,— Oucg again our "Chichic" flew, and Lord—Howe! Speaking of humour it is interesting to noto that this sense is not confined to any particular class. Recently I was disturbed about 1 a.m. by a noise that made my blood turn, cold, and my, hair stand up. Burglars! I crept downstairs in my gaudy, but rather short night-shirt to find two of the toughest, hard-boildest looking birds imaginable, piling the family silver into their bags. I stood trembling a moment, and mustering courage I said, "Hoi" They, looked up with some surprise, and then! to my astonishment both broke into a, regular riot of mirth. One fell over a chair, laughing hilarionsly, and th» other just "caved in," utterly helpless with laughter. Glancing at his mate, the follow on tho .floor pointed to me, and still laughing hysterically, somehow got this out: "Think of it, Billhere's a guy —in this day and age—" wearing a night-shirt!!" Then they, both rolled on the floor and joyfully, started all over again. . sib pzasg * <r * They are making if: hard for tit* bachelors in Jugo-Slavia. Tho new bachelor tax in that country—it became efr fective last New Year's Day—is th# stiffeßt of its kind in the world. Single citizons of 30 pay 60 per cent, of their earnings, ' and then att income tax besides. The load graduates down with age until only 10 per cent, is levied ou unmarried men of 60. Our last point concerning this disgraceful imposition is that if the registry offices are not working overtime ia Jugo-Slavia nowadays it may be takea for granted that the spinsters of that wonderful country were better unwed. * * *■ This idea came to us on. reading that giraffes aro still valued at £1000 * pair, and that a "good riding elephant" —we'd loy© to spe an elephant ridings—will fetch anything from. £40J) to £600. We'll try this ou *he sami■sen. '■■,'■ Cross bellies are in strong demand Tor cross-patch. work, wo undeistend^ And Wai-merinos still are firm— If Langstone will permit the term. The office irre-dentist says That two-tooths have seen better days. Crutch wool, he begs of tie to hand on, Hasn't a real sound leg to stand on. Chiucliillers met 'with quite a cool ■Reception from the Bradford school, While as for 'hippopotami Which, do not need phlebotomy (That's not so dreadful as it sounds), Tne price has touched £400. Butter is either dull or low Or on the slide. .. we don't quite know. Some brands "of cheese are much too "high," Which, makes tho usual dealers shy. "Spot trade is weak"—a note oa wheat;' It's brisker far just down the street. Bequests for oats (ex store) are mild, The wild kinds still continue wild. Tin, forward, keeps on-slipping back. Rubber has fallen with a smack Without rebounding. Prospects blue Confront peas, beans —and has-beens, tOO; But "lion-headed" gold-fish top £200 . . . with that we stop. *. * * As a devout believer in the "aa:e >l of our local apostles, it has been our duty (and privilege) to help with suggestions our harassed Government to save, money in order to keep the currency reformers and the Alliance of Labour quiet. Despite a previous warning of ours, we are grieved to note that the iuk-wells in the Post Offices are still wide open to marauders like Scotsmen with borrowed fountain pens. However, that docs not deter us from passing on yet another idea, this thno from Canada, in the interests of State thrift. If Prime Minister Bennett has gone on with the. notion, Cabinet Ministers lave by this . lost t.hoir • expensive limousines and their liveried chauffeurs, and will have to transact their business on foot or resort to taxicabs. Thirty-four fine ears, used by tho seventeen Cabinet Ministers and their seventeen deputy Ministers, were to go on the auction block at the end of March, when the Government's fiscal, year closed, and_ be sold for whatever they would bring. Mr. Bennett hopes to*save £20,000 a year in thi.3 way. One Minister didn't liko his car, so he purchasod a second one. The family of another former Minister travelled 40,000 miles in one year, mostly on long trips. We'd hate to see Iffr. Atmorc, plug hat 'n' all, tramming ft to Happy Valley on official business or enjoying a. lift on Jemadar Khaji's fruit, wagon on the way to making an erudite speech on something or the other at Karori South, but the Government simply must shorten, sail. If this should happen, the next step obviously would be to provide the messen-, gers in the House with scooters.