POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 135, 5 December 1930, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

"Post" headlines: THE FIRST ROUND. WON BY MR. T^ANG. Ahead on pointing only. "Big Jack 7* ■' still has time to run into a sleep-pro* tluccr. • ■ * * According to a leader-writer in a con* temporary, even those amazingly pro* found fellows, the philosophers of ethics, are not agreed as to the-chief end of man. If "Trying To Keep Alive," whosa agile letter appeared in "The Post" last evening, is right, the chief end of! man the pedestrian, is the jumping end, WALKING ON BEER. Pedestrian's 100 Miles to Gallon, Let's sing: We have walked on air, And on water, too, We have marched on our stomachs As armies do. But to walk on beer Has a special urge— ■ So long as they'd let you At times submerge. • • • Mamie M'Clancy is all for "English ai she is wrote." Here's an example of the same sort of English ... a lettor from a Chinese firm in Tsinan, the capital of Shantung province, to the medical director of the Shantung Christian University ' Hospital. This little sales talk reads:— "Gentleman! "We are gladlng for your proaperitly business, whenever. We are thinking very regret. Wo can not suply you the sufficient satisfaction ever, on ineomplate for the medical instrument and medicines, but we ara [belived to suply you the great satisfaction, becouse we have made the new contract on the business, during Japan: and Tsingtao, athers. ■ '"Wo are waiting your order, becousa wehaving presparate. to complete our stock, and also, we are our object to satisfact for your snialest order to demand, hawever. We will publicata you our special price of goods as follow. . We hope you will be trust. oil our goods and price-list." This quaint epistle was forwarded to. and published by, the "Literary Digest,* to which our acknowledgments. «,. » # Kainerad! * ' ' Dear chief and clientsJust a line Begging your clemency benign. We scanned: the papers through and through . ' . ' To find a note to jingle to, But, to be most uncommon frank, ' We absolutely drew a blank. i 'Thus, in Wall street words, 'caught short," ■ We pray the mercy of the Court. That done, we ask you now to focui Your optics on this hocus-pocus. We entered an emporium To buy a moratorium. They hadn't one. A Gorgonzola? The manager, in accents polar, Said: "No; but here's a line of gorgon* Complete with their internal organs;. Arid handsome volumes Zolaesque, Neat, but not gaudy or grotesque; Perhaps you'd like a nice hiatus, ;;;..- Or an infallible quietus ,; T For placid pelargoniums ~'■■■■' Or raucous-voiced euphoniums: Remaining quite urbane and bland, We raised a deferential hand, . -■ And with the other deftly shifting, We did some sleight-of-hand shop-liftiu& The while we told him, as a friend, \ We'd gained, by devious ways, our end, Which was—to put you all at easeTo fill this space with rhymes lwe these. • • • The wonder of science. When it ha 3 made life unbearable in' one direction it rises to ease the strain in another. To-day the world, or much of it, is campaigning against noise. In England you may get well in a sound-proof hospital. It is the new Bradford Royal Infirmary, built at a cost of half J» million, and the finest thing of its kind in Great Britain. It is provided with tha most modern devices in hospital equip* ment, including ■- sound-proofing precautions of an elaborate nature which, ensuring the maximum restfulness for the patient, have earned^ for the institution the name of '"hush-hush* hospital. There -will be no 'bell-ringing. When a patient signals to the nurses* quarters for attention the call is recorded in the head matron's office, and a light shows until the nurse enters the room, and, by pushing a switch, near the door, lets the matron know the call has been duly dealt with. Tha tell-tale light enables the matron to see that patients' calls are always attended to. The building is of concrete, glazed brick, and a patent material like polished granite, which will not harbour dust. All corners N and intersections of walls and floors'have beea given a rounded finish so as to facilitate cleaning and avoid accumulations of dirt. The windows are of special glass which allows ultra-violet rays to flood the rooms. There are no visible radiators or heating pipes. Tha heat comes from hidden panels in th». ceiling. • • • Pass the soap. Our informative women's page had a story based ou the edicts that the Russians and Poles are to be compelled to take a bath once a month! The professional humorist made much of-the. news, but it has to be remembered that even ia hygienic England, doctors of the 'nineties were found warning people against its dangers. The moralist complained that the time spent by fanatics in piu> suing the soap round the bath-tub might be more profitably spent in teaching their children the elements of geometry! It is a curious fact that tha elderly bathers in London's Serpentine had their Roman prototypes. The ancients had more elaborate baths, and used them to more purpose than any millionaire of to-day. They not only washed in their baths, but held mixed bathing parties in their hygienic halls. Centuries 'litter, bathing was quite out of fashion in civilised Europe. In Germany and France, both men and H'omeu used the public baths together. Maids were in attendance to massage or comb patrons. To this day the Japanese! boil themselves solemnly in public, and in Russia both sexes bathe in the rivers without any clothing. The great days of bathing in Western Europe had many social features. Tho public bafch3 developed into what correspond to pre-sent-day night clubs. Men and women of quality went to the baths to exchange news, throw dice, and have a drink with their friends. When a Danish wrecking crew got a cask of beer, the obvious thing was to take it to the baths and enjoy it comfortably. Then looseness crept in, and outraged morality protesting, led by the church, resulted in the suppression of public baths in France, to be followed by % like movement in Germany and Den* mark.