SMILE AWHILE

Evening Post, Volume CVIII, Issue 102, 26 October 1929, Page 20

SMILE AWHILE

They were looking down from a nar- ' row Alpine ledge to the valley 2000 feet, bolow. , . ; < "Dp people often fall over-here?" t the guide was asked. "As a rule, sir, onco is enough," was the reply. ■ < It was a very hot day and tho young | man was apparently "thirsty, for he j was quickly drinking 1113 third glass . of milk. ... ! "Youi must bo extraordinary fond , of milk," observed tho milkman. "Bather," was tho reply. "Or I ' should not be drinking so mueh water to g^t a little." „ ' . .Jerry had had his first torm at boarding school, and while he was on holiday his undo visited the family. "Hallo, Jerry!" said Uncle. "How do you like your Form Master?" "He's not too bad, Uncle," replied Jerry." "Rather bigoted though." "How so?" "He will insist that words can only be spelled his way." The scena.was a small restaurant, and a customer "was heard criticising the pastry. ''Why, young man," said the proprietor, "I was making pastry before yoii were born.'? .'.' Granted, "was the reply. "But why : ;sell-ii_ow?" ; The- scene is a seaside boarding-house once more. ."How did you find your chop, Mr. Brown!" asked the landlady. .Mr. Brown walked toward the door. Oh," he said, "I just moved one of the potatoes, and there it was!" Teaeher:' My littlo man, you must not say,-"I ain't going," vou must say "I am not going." He is not going. We aro not going. They aro not going." Student: Ain't nobody going? Pat, while on a visit to America, bocame deeply: interested in watching a gardener.. After a while the followinc dialogue took place:-— Gardener: "Some fine vegetables here, Pat?" Pat: "Yes." Gardener: "I once grew a cabbage which, when cut in.two and the heart removed, made a grand cradle for kiddies." _ Pat: "Begorra! But it must have been a mighty.fine one. Wo havo some -no vegetables in old Ireland, too. I onee Remember seeing three men sleenwg on one beet (beat)." Gardener: "Three menl" . ?_St».."Sure—-policemen." "Johnny, if there were ten sheep in a pasture and five jumped over the tence, how many would be left"?" "None." • "Now, Johnny,' can't you count better than that?" "Well, teacher, you might know anthmetie,.but you don't know sheep." Elsie: "Mamma, I don't feel verv Well." ' : ■ ' Mother:,.;" That's too' bad, dear. Where do-you feel worst?" Elsie: "In school, mamma." Little' Betty, watching the farm ' hands spreading out a stack of hay to dry, eould contain her curiosity no longer,_ so she politely asked: "Is it a needle you're looking for?" Two children were playing together. Jane_ got angry and pouted. Alfred, looking at her, said, as a quiot smile stole over his face: "Look out, Jane, or I'll take a seat up thero on your lips." "Then," replied Jane, quito cured of her pout, "I'll laugh, and vou'll fall off." " Sergeant: Halt! You can't go iu there. Private:, Why not, Sergeant? Sergeant:-Because it's tho colonel's tent. Private:. Then why have they got *'?iiv_tc'' over the door for? Qiiiiiiiimii>iiiifi„Hiiiitiiiiitiiiiiintiiiiiiiiiit!,!iii!iiiiiiiifm I THE DISASTER. | = Albert Thomas William Dicker ? I §'■'• Down the slide sped .quicker— H I (juicier-- ■ - - . \ § Swifter than the wind he slid, = = Albert Thomas William d/d, I -jj Till,, ho crashed, into the Vltsar! | 5- Down tho street they both wont 1 I gliding. f = Slipping, slithering, swaying, Hiring, I § Till they reached the final corner I jj Whero thoy rammed Policeman Hor- r § ner - : •H Who behind the wall was hiding! jj I As lie eould not withstand the blow = I They "all collapsed into the snow; = I And no one ever ran home quicker § 3 Than Albert Thomas William Dicker. I HiimimmmmimiiijiiimiiimiiiMiiimii»Ti»imiiimiinrij;