SMILE AWHILE.

Evening Post, Volume CVIII, Issue 24, 27 July 1929, Page 18

SMILE AWHILE.

Grandmother: "Take my bonnet, Jimmie, and put it in my room. Jimmie—Not on your life, Gran. I heard cook say yesterday that you have a bee in it." Young Lady—l want a licence for my little dog, please. Clerk—What kind of a aog is it Young Lady—Well, her mother was a French poodle, but she was born in this country. Tho notice, "Boy Wanted," was displayed in the window, and Jimmy Jones, after gazing at it thoughtfully for a minute or two, stepped into the shop. "What kind of a boy is it you want?" ho asked the owner. "Oh, a decent sort of lad —one who is quick and willing, one who isn't lazy and doesn't whistle, one who knows his manners, one— ■ —" Jimmy Jones thrust his hands into his pockets and eyed tho shopkeeper. "Aw!" he cried, "You don't want, a boy at all. You want a girl." "James, can you give me an example of a coincidence," asked the teacher. "Well," said Jamea after much thought, "my father and mother we're married on the same day." Bobbie (doing his home work) — "What's a square root, Grandpa?" Grandpa (a gardener)—"Er—possibly it's a bulb that has. been knocked out of shape." Jean (who has been to the zoo) — "Why do elephants have such big trunks 1" Betty (aged 9) —"Because they have to come all the way from India, I s'pose." Two friends were walking in the country. "It is wonderful the way some of these old rustics can tell what the weather is going to be," said one of them. "Just listen." "Good morning, Jarge. What's the weather for to-day?" ho asked. "Pine, with showery intervals. Mebbe a little thunder," replied the old man. "I suppose foretelling the weather comes easily to you?" "Most nights, yes," was the reply. "Sometimes, though, the wireless is not so good, and it be very difficult to hear what is said." Mother: "Yes,.Jimmy, wnat is it?" Little Jimmy: "If I Jm too young to sit up late, why did Mr. Jinks just tell daddy ho was too young to retire?" Daddy was haviug a round of golf ■with a friend, and little Joan came along with Mamma to look on. After watching tho game for some time, Joan asked: "Mustn't the ball go into that little hole, Mamma?" First Boy Scout: ''Have you done your good turn to-day?" Second Boy Scout: "I've done fifty good turns to-day." "You couldn't have." "I did. Mother'B been mangling clothes, and I turned the handle." The artist had been working for some hours. "Oh, what a beautiful landseapel" said a lady who stopped in passing. "Do you really think so?" queried the artist. "It's not a p tcli on the original, though," he added modestly. "I meant the original," said the lady, as she turned to go The diner called the waiter. "Is there any soup on this menu?" ho asked. "No, sir," replied tho waiter. "I'm suro I haven't spilled any." Teacher: "Now Bobby, tell me the names of some stars." Bobby: "Football or film, miss?" Tho tramp eyed the joints displayed in tho butcher's shop. "You have meat to suit all purses, I presume?" he said. "Yes," snapped the butcher. "What havo you to suit an ernptv purse?" "The cold shoulder." Many a man who is the light of his wifos'lifc is not allowed to go t>ut. Pretty Waitress—Arc you the fried flathead : Susceptible Diner—No; the lonely sole.