GOOD QUEEN BESS.

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 34, 8 August 1925, Page 17

GOOD QUEEN BESS.

Mandy, the coloured laundreo, pickad up a magazine and began to turn over the pages aimlessly. Then the leemed to be fascinated by one of the pioturei. " What dat woman, Mis* Blank 7" the inquired. " That's Queen Elizabeth, Mandy," said Mis* Blank. Mandy seemed to be stricken dum.b. Finally the bunt forth breathleul j i " Am dat de Queen, Mi*i Blank ? My land, what • homely woman 1 My land, what a ugly woman 1 Why, Mis* Blank, that Queen ain't no better looking than you U?'

Lord Leverhulme was not only a rerj able business man, but a delightful raoon, teur. He teemed seldom at a lon to find a story to suit any occasion. One of his best was told at the opening of an art exhibition. A Royal Aoademioian, notibing .the drawing of a fish by a pavement artißt, inquired what sort it was. "That's a shark, sir," replied the street pavement artist. "Have you ever seen a shark?" asked the Academician. • "No, sir; but, then, don't some of those Academy blokes paint angels?" came the answer.

"I Tear, Brother Johnson," solemnly said the presiding elder, "if you permit that little fellow to poke beans up his nose that way it may destroy his sense of smell." "Aw, well," returned Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, "I reckon he's smelt mighty nigh everything, anyhow."

An Englishman and an American were standing' by the crater of a lively volcano in Honolulu. "You haven't anything like that in the States," suggested the Englishman esicouragingly. "Mobbe not, but we gotta firo department iv Chicago that.could put it out," was the retort.

Mary Anne gave notice she was going to bo married. Her mistress, perturbpd, snid: "Of course, I don't want to put uny obstance in the way of your getting married, but I wish it wero possible for you to postpone it until I can gel another maid." "Well, mum," Mary Anno replied. "I 'arilly think I know 'im well enough to ask 'im to put it off!"

Every Memorial Day Mrs. Emma Gooch goes out and puts a wreath on tho grave of the late Emil Gooch. People got to noticing it, and somebody asked Mrs. Gooch what war the late Emil had fought in. "He. never fought in any war," tho widow replied. "Then why do you put a wreath on his grave on "Memorial Day?" "Wasn't ha my husband?" retorted Mrs, Goooli. <uirl n-cnt ujj *ur! isH b°x v\*«ul!i w tb« tfi'»v« u< y>» t'Uvaia Uu4'