ON A. NEW CRAZE.

Evening Post, Volume CVII, Issue 140, 14 June 1924, Page 17

ON A. NEW CRAZE.

I propose to take as subject of my song The prospective' growth and triumph of Mah Jo-ngg (In which plan I am supported By the fact—which can t bo thwarted— There are several well-assorted Rhymes in "ong"). Out of China (whence we also gain. Souchong) Camo this latosfr boon and Me»ing of Mah Jongg; Now in London Town it rages, So it should, by easy stages. Reach our own. suburban sages Before long. Yea, I' think you'll find the pastim* of Mah Jongg At our northern parties shortly going strong; But I don't know how you play it (Does one back a "Jongg" or lay it?) So I may (with grief I say it) Be all wrong.

Do they play il; to ths beating of a gong, This inviting, this excitingl game Mali Jongg? At the subsequent collation . Do tho guesta ' (with imprecation) " Use a chopetiok for their ration. Or a prong ?

Does light conversation help tho game along ? Does one chatter as one joins ths earnest _ throng? Or sit silent as a mummy? Does it need a fourth or dummy? Is it aught like nap or "rummy," This Mah Jongg? Aro there "local rules," I wonder, in Mah Jongg? Is the code, tho earns from. Bolivar to

Bhoiig? Though tho thought a trifle strange is It may be the custom changes As from Harrogato one ranges To Hong Kong.

My inquiries now enwrap me like a throng; \ But I'm told a. doom haa sounded ding--dong; Bridge is fighting for eurvival, So, with praises adjectival, I salute the glad arrival Of Mah Jongg. —Lucio. "Manchester Guardian."

Bed is the grave of lost illusions.

Betting is, if persisted in, a safe ouie of one's self-conceit. The knock-out of the "dead cert," and tha "straight tip."

A bigot is a person who stioks to Hs own opinion, even after you convince him he's wrong.

"Bird": A vulgar term applied to a female of bright plumage whose business it is to pluck men.

Birthdays are anniversaries whioh children sigh for and' grown-ups' sigh against.

Blue: The bright colour we feel when we feel miserable.

Willie at the ironmonger's: I.want to get naif, a dozen of the kind of tacks that school teachers sit on.

"William" define die temperate zone." _A strip of water twlove miles wido off tne aoast of America."

. When Jack and I are married I'm gomg r. • havo '"rea "enrants." "You will probably have twenty-three, my dear— but'not all at once." a°ar-.

"But your mother is too old-fashioned. my dear. I'm afraid Bhe'd bo awfully shocked at our party." "She- expects to be, that a why she's dying to' como "

Caller: So ths angels have brought you a now baby suitor. Elsie (disgustedly): lo seei the- turn nurse makes, over her you d think she came from Paris.

Mrs. Sjmith: Mr. Courts, our new curate. Mr. Coutts is a Master of Languages, John. Mr. Sjmith: Master of Languages? Pleased to meet you—l play

f^ c: uI lis tie vioe&i at the ball All women are rivals, you ™ when it comes to clothes. Husband: Yes, one certainly tries to outstrip the other.'

Mike: Do you want to sell that horse? Ike: bure: A hundred dollars. Mike: But you only paid ninety-eight for him! Ike: But I gavo him. his dinnor, and' that goes with the horse. .

Wilhe: I cay, pa, what is an empty title? Pa: An empty title, my eon, is your mother's way of referring to me as the head of the house when there are visitors present.'

Stranger (in post office): May I use the telephone? Postmistress: I'm afraid it's out of order, sir. You see, Colonel Crusher left his golf . olubs in the train yesterday, and ho's ju&t been tolling' the railway about it. '

Jeweller: "Our diamonds have the samo purity, the same weight, and the same sparkle as the genuine article, and in order to mako the imitation perfect, we sell them for exactly the same price."

aviator (at country fair): What shall wo do for excitement? Second Aviator: Let's take a ride on tho Ferris whisel.

You say you cannot livo -without my daughter, young man?" "Yes, yes, and I mean it!" lie cried eagerly. "Well, if you can livo with hor, you can do moro than her mother and I can do. Take her and bless you!" '

"And wh».t," they asked of the surgeon who had saved Mr. Tightfist from an untimely end, "did you. consider the most difficult, stage of tho operation?" "Collecting the money," ho answered, with a smile of conscious skill.

Tramp (in a country lane): "Yes, I onoe rode a bicycle, but I had to give it up." Bicyclist: "Why?" Tramp: "'Well; you see, tho owner of the bicycle was coming down the road behind mo, and tho policeman had a ropo stretched across in front."

_ "Gentlemen of the jury," said counsel, in a suit about a lot of hogs, "there wore just 36 hogs in that drovo; pleaee to remember that fact—s6 hogs—just exactly threo times as many as there arc in tho jury-box, gentlemen." The counsel did not gain his case.

Jones and Smith wore going into a restaurant for lunch. ' "Come along, old man," said Jones to Smith, who was an anti-Pussyfoot, both in word and deed. "I'm afraid I haven't got time for any lunch to-day," replied Smith: "That's all Tight," answered tho other; "it's poured out already!"