TO LUCASTA.

Evening Post, Volume CVI, Issue 108, 3 November 1923, Page 17

TO LUCASTA.

(On being detained at the office.) Tell me not, sweet, I am a brute, That ifar from the domain Of thy chaste breast and mind astute Lato at work I remain. A brighter mistress now I chase, A far, far blonder wren; And with a stronger faith embrace An ink-pot and a pen. Yet this inconstancy is such As thou, too, shalt adore: I could not love theee, dear, so much . Loved I not money more. "Judge." —Cyril B. Egan. THE ECHO'S DECISION. I watched the ponies running, Debating on a. bet •. That might, if I were cunning, Deliver me from debt. The form sheet lay before me, But as the dope I got. Uneasiness swept o'er me. "Well, shall I bet, or not?" The echo seized my question, And solved it like a shot. It vetoed my suggestion "Well, shall I?"—" Better not." "Lif<3-" -A.H. Every man is his own ancestor and his own heir; he devises his own future and inherits. his own past.

tu }r°Z< d?,v. you llke y°ur new chief, W.f'l.Tr lNot so bad > onk he's so bijrPtod.. How dyou mean bigoted?" "He seems to think that words can only be spelled his way."

Doctor: "Yes, I think she will be all "ft now with these glasses." Mother: ■ 1 should hope so. They cost mo 17 shillings, and she s the only one in the family as can see through 'em."

Mother: . "You ' mustn't ask so many Questions Dora. Curiosity killed the cat, you know." . ■ l)ora: "Did it, mummy? Whatever did the cat want to know?"

Higgs wanted to buy a car. and Biggs wanted to sell one, so , a trial run was arranged. Rattling and groaning, it covered the ground at its maximum speed, about one mile an hour.

"Rattling fine car!" ejaculated Biggs. Sound in every part!" "So I hear!" was Higgs's response./

Mrs Brown: "Dear me, I've broken my looking-glass. Sven years of bad luck, I suppose." Mrs. Harris:- "Don't, you believe it, Mrs. Brown. . A friend, o' mine broke ers, and she didn't-have no seven years! She was killed in. a 'splosion two days later, so you .needn't worry."

Smith is a young lawyer, clever in many respects, but very forgetful. He had been sent to a distant town to interview an important client, when' the head of his.firm received this telegram: "Have forgotten name of client Please wire at once." " '.■-.'.'■■■-.■. .

The reply ho received- was: ."Client's' name Jenkins. Your name Smith."

Mistress: "Mary, what a kitchen. Every pot,, pan,-and dish is soiled; the table looks like the day after a cyclone! Whit have you boe'n doing?" . ' . Mary: "Well, Ma'am, blessed if it be my fault. The young ladies has just been showing me how they bile a .pertaler at their cooking school."

Old Lady:. Now. porter, you're quite sure you've' put all mvluggacre in?—the bi<r portmantenu aml-^— Porter: All n?ht, njum. Old T, a dy: And you're certain I've not left anything behind? Porter: No, miim, riot even a copper.

' Missionary :• Was it liquor, that brought you to this ? Imprisoned Burglar: No, sir; it was house-cleanin'—spring liousocleanin', sir. Missionary: Eh—-house-cleaning? Burglar: Yes, sir; the woman had been house-clea'niri' and the etair carpet was up, and the folks heard me.

'How long is it going to take to get through with this case?" asked tlie client, who was under suspicion of house-break. ing.- "Well," replied the younir lawyer, thoughtfully, "it'll' take me'about two weeks to get_ through with-it, but I'm afra-d it's going to'take you about four years." ■ • ■- .

Scene.—Outside a grocer's window. First Boy: What's them green thincs in a bottle ?_ Second Boy: Olives. Cnn't you see it's wrote on the label. First Boj^: Well, what's olives? Second Boy: Oh, things what the aristocracy eat! First Boy: And what's the aristocracy? Second Boy: Why, them folks what' eats anything. . ■ ■■>