LEACOCK PARODIES

Evening Post, Volume CVI, Issue 90, 13 October 1923, Page 19

LEACOCK PARODIES

THE THEATRE THIS TIME,

In Professor Leacock's latest book, "Over the Footlights," appears the following parody on Ibsen, in a drama entitled "The Sub-Contractor." Here is the beginning:— Scene: A room in Slump's house. (There are flowers on the tabls.) Slump : What beautiful flowers. Vamp : Yes, they are fresh this morn-

(Slump and Vamp speak one after the other in short turns, like sawing wood with a crosscut, saw. But there is no need to indicate ,which is speaking. It doesn't matter.)

Are they, indeed? Yes, they are. How sweet they smell. Yes, don't they? I like flowers. So do I. I think they smell so beautiful.

It's a beautiful morning. Yes. the Spring will soon be here, etc.

And hers is the moment of climax:— Vamp :-What is he doirig^ now? Dump: I think he is eating dynamite. Vamp: Will it hurt him? Dump: Yes, presently. Vamp : In what particular way?' Dump: After the warmth of his body warms it he will explode. Vamp : How curious. How warm will it have to be?

Dump: About- 90 degrees . . . will explode in about twelve minutes.

Vamp: Is it wise to stay near him? Dump: No, it is highly imprudent. We had better go. The curtain falls, leaving, as usual, after an Ibsen play, a profound problem stated, but not solved. Another of these plays of foreign local colour is ''Damned Souls," described as "a bright little tragedy of Russian home life, written with a little assistance by Maxim Gherkin, Shootitoff, Dustanashe], and a few men like that, in which the arch-villain is Pravda (aged 80); an immoral woman."

Further among the dramatic types, there are: "Cast up by the Sea; a Seacoast Melodrama (as thrown up for 30 cents), Period, 1880" ; and "The Soul Call, 'an Up-to-Date Piffle' Play." This latter is a problem play, and the problem is marriage. "Let it be- noted (remarks the Professor) that marriage, which used to be a sacrament, became presently a contract, and is now a problem.!" Next comes the silent drama, where- Leacock treats his reader to a super-usual "movie," the verbal visualisation of which is a thing of art.

The College Greek Play comes in for the attention of the Professor, when he describes "Oroastus," a Greek tragedy by Diplodocus, put on, as presented in American colleges. The dialogue here is worthy of the classics:— Chorus: Oh, how unhappy is this now-standinir-before-us King! Herald : Your palace, 0 King has on the one hand been destroyed by fire, and your crown, which in and of it.self for the most part signified your kingship, has on the other hand been stolen. ...

There is a typical description of the picture show as the patron enters:— "Now through these doors and down this corridor, and through these swinging doors again, and into the dark. What a vast place it is. Dear me, it's absolutely crtipty! Empty? Oh, no, they are all there, but you don't see them yet, seated silent in the dark like toads under leaves! Excuse me, sir, I'm afraid I stepped on your foot. I beg your pardon, madam, I didn't see the little girlj"