FASHION AND ART.

Evening Post, Volume CII, Issue 62, 10 September 1921, Page 14

FASHION AND ART.

If girls would brush the hair back from their eyes, saye a great organist, they would sing better. Amanda is all put of tune, She sings like a cuckoo in June, Her cavities aural Are rendered unohoral ■ ' By pads that would choke a maroon. Drusilla was queen of the waltz Until she developed grave faults; Her jazz-pattern stocking The steps interlocking. In unconsitutional halts. ■ Elaine is a musical maid, , At four, the piano she played, / But since manicuring ' Has proved so alluring, She vamps in long gauntlets of suads. Chronicle— —A.W.

" Replicas of Ford automobiles are now burned on the graves of well-to-do natives in China to provide a means of getting about rapidly in the spirit world." The long-sought sting of death has been discovered at last.

Judge: Tou say the prisoner struck you. Have you any witnesses to prove it? Casey.(pointing to his discoloured optic): I hare wo, eye-witness here, yer Honour.

Gladys: I hope, dearest, thjit you will never contract any debts. Jack: Never. Gladys: Jack, are you sure? Jack: I always expand my debts.

Minnie: Why did Miss Oldfcirl dismiss her butler? Sadie: He boasted he had grown old in her service. ,

First Undergrad.—What shall we do? Second Undergrad.—l'll spin a coin. If it's heads we'll go to the cinema; tails, we'll go to the dance—and if it stands on edge we'll study.

Porter (sympathetically): Did1 you want to catch the 12.10, eirf" Would-be Passenger (puffing hard): Oh, no, thank you. I didn't like the look of it, so I was just chasing it out of the station.

Fred: Frank is in % terrible fix. George: How so? Fred: Jessie's father threatens to disinherit her if she marries him, and she /says she will sue him for breach of promise if he doesn't.

Friend: I didn't know you painted. Host: I don't. Friend: But your portrait says, " Thomas Newrich —by himself." Host: Well, ain't I by myself? There ain't nobody else about. • ".

" Well,. father," exclaimed the prodigal son, as he made his appearance at tho family fireside, " are you ready to kill the fatted calf?" " No," replied the old man, grimly, " I think I'll let yo« live."

The comedian was bantering a young actor. "Ah, well,',' said the latter, with great self-satisfaction, "so far the profession has brought me bread and butter." " And eggs, Arthur—and eggs," said tho, comedian. ■

"■So glad you finally managed to visit us," said Mrs. de Style. "First of all, come into the picture gallery; I want to show you my old maßters——" "My goodness!" exclaimed Mrs. Plane; "I didn't know you were ever in service." .

"When I marry," exclaimed tho school girl, " I want a tall, handsome looking man." ,'''■... ' :"'""

" You'll have less trouble watching an ugly man, and have more of his company," rejoined the more practical elder sister. r ■

"Great Scott 1" cried the head clerk, "does it take you four hours to carry a message a mile and return?" "Why," said the new office boy, "you told me to see how long it would take me to go there and back, so I did." _