MIKE.

Evening Post, Volume CI, Issue 96, 23 April 1921, Page 14

MIKE.

My friend is Irish through and through; He's fond of fun and fighting, And though he's sentimental, too, •His mood is often biting. He's self-conceited as can be, ■And yet it's fair to mention He never yet has bothered ni© With passionate contention. We wall: abioad and take the air In every sort of weather, The simple joys of life to share, Content to be togethor. Religion, or the wars of clans ? He seoms oblivious of them; I know he hates the "Black and Tajia," But deems himself above them. His flag ? I admit, alack ! (Not that it greatly matters) I've Been him take a Union Jack And tear it into tatters. Of all the friends I have possessed No truer, braver, merrier Has ever met the acid test Than Mick, my Irish terrier. —T. A. Daly. Now York Evening Post. iJEFOIUS AND AFTER. Before we wed—she was submissive. I had all to say, For 9he was my stenographer— List to my_ plaintive lay— The situation now reversed, Alas, that thug it be, In those days I'd. dictate to her; Now—she dictates to me I "Does your flat seem any more Toomy than it used to?" "Well a little, ngw the varnish is beginninff to get scraped off the furniture." Spinster: I was born to be married. Wife (proudly): I achieved matrimony. Husband (sadly): And I was the victim of a leap-year proposal. Naylor: The catalogue says those are fine bedding rosos. Juryman: Then Bend for some pillar roaee, take a few sheets, and write a blanket order for tho others. Patient: You told me to put my tongue out, doctor, but'you have not looked, at it! Doctor: No, ma'am. I merely wanted time to write your prescription. Dan: Eleio is an expert in sentimental anatomy. Phyllis: How do you mean? Dan: She makes a man lose his head, she takes bis hand, and then breaks his heart. "A stammering man has a great advantage," said the busy citizen. "In what way?" "He can think before he speaks, and still hold on to your attention. Bobby: You're a wonderful cricketer, aren't you, Mr. Smith? Smith: Why, no—l don't play cricket. Bobby: Then why did mother tell my oieter that you were 6uch a good catch? "Did you see any sharks when you were crossing tho eea, Mr. Butts?" asked Miss Mills. "Yes," replied Butte, eadly. "I played cards with a couple!" Wife: I want to go to town to-day to yet some new dresses, a hat, and a pair of boots. What's the weather forecast? Husband: Rain, hail, sleet, frost, and thunderstorms. "It's really very kind of you, Mr. Knight, to give me your seat," said Mies Kay. "Not at all," replied Knight, "we men are getting tired of being accused of being polite only to- pretty girls." Tobbles: This dog of yours is an ugly, ill-tempered brute. Why do you keep him? Tyler: My wife goee to a cooking school, and the dog is not go particular about his food as I am. Rupert: Don't talk to me of discipline. Egbert: Why not, Old chap? ' •' • Rupert: I served in the war, and then got married; but now I'm home I'm only just beginning to learn the real meaning of discipline!