WHAT THE HOTEL DIDN'T TAKE.

Evening Post, Volume XCVIII, Issue 136, 6 December 1919, Page 14

WHAT THE HOTEL DIDN'T TAKE.

"We don't take doga!" the deskclerk said. Disdainfully he tossed hie head. Through the swinging doors of the great hotel Streamed folk of all creeds and races;' Some hid their badness, and did it well, And others had ovil faces. There were common thieves, there were birds of prey, And women who laughed too loudly; But the desk-clerk's smile was free and gay. ' Ho welcomed the wastrels proudly. There were gamblers, crooks, and breakers of banks, And men who would rob their mothers; And the desk-clerk gathered their money with thanks And treated them all like brothers. But the dog—he was patient, obedient, true, <* A fountain of faith and affection; He was honest and valorous all the Way through— So the desk-clerk made objection! —New York life First Professor (in high-powered motor car): We've got it at last. Second Professor: G-got w-what? First Professor: Perpetual motion-pi can't stop. To-day, Diogenes, with his lantern, would be looking for the man who hasn't struck. , "What did you say you call your wife for a nicknameT' "U-boat." "Why?" "Because whenever I come home late she blows me up without warning." Unmusical Father: No, we haven't decided on a teacher for him yet. You see, his mother wants him to bo trained to sing, and I should like him to be trained not to sing. Kate: She asked the question just out of idle curiosity, don't you think? Laura: No; busy curiosity. Her curiosity is never idle. He: You are one of the kind.of women who. believe they never did anything foolish in their lives. She: I couldn't believe that. Didn't! marry you? "What's become of your umbrella?'^ "1 lent it to Tompkins." > "Why doesn't he return it?'* "Tho owner caught him with it, and demanded it." One complaining wife regards matrimony as a snore and a delusion. Tho Sin Francisco Chronicle states that journeymen burglars havo notified the master burglars that they must have a three-hour night or they will strike "Well," said the doctor, "I hope you profited by my advice?" "Yes, doctor, replied the patient, "but not so much as you did." England is encouraging the standardisation of clothing for women to decrease tho cost of living. Can't be done until women are standardised. The public doesn't want cheap food. It wants food cheap and plenty of it.