Mr. Pep, Engine-Driver.

Evening Post, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 88, 13 April 1912, Page 10

Mr. Pep, Engine-Driver.

By WILFRID L. BANDELL. [All Bights Reserve*

Mr. Pep, Experimentalist, was what 5s known in provincial parlance as "a bit, of a character." He had made so many attempts at earning a living (the astute leader will note that we do not zivy earning an honest living), that space would fail us to tell of his exploits, experiences, and experiments. Botn in a quarter of a large city where ascertain shrewdness of intellect commsm to the inhabitants was not unduly hampered by a too rigid application of the lawe of morality, even his early years were characterised by a slight confusion ac to the rights of personal pro- . pei'ty, so that -on one occasion, which marked, as it were, his professional deout on the stage of life, an unfortunate, proximity to tvi r innocent-looking ' individual who proved to be, a plaiii- • uldihes policeman had resulted in a tri- >«" fi^ng 1 misunderstanding. ' At •' that time -■^utdiesj' had pockets m their dresses, and didpxo^ 'carry the' dainty,' embroidered sawmels which," pjter, such tempting mor-sels-for'.the 3?eps, of tfye present day; •tile- policeman, whose eyesight was objectionably keen, had discovered, despitje the crowd, that a particular lady'a pocket contained a purse, a handkerchfef, and the digital portion of Master Pep's hand. Whereupon a large and hairy fist had gripped the aim of the experimenter, and a voice, hoarse but imperative, had whispered, into Pep's ear the formula with which he was destined in later days to be somewhat faMjtiliar : "Now then, young fellow — you just com© along with me; and it'll be hiitev for you to come quietly.' 1 ' The brief period of meditative seclusion which followed this episodt had, we- regret to record, no beneficial effect upon the outlook of our hero, though for a -short time he engaged in more legitimate efforts to- sustain himself than the direct appropriation of other people's possessions. He became, for instance, a baker's assistant ; but the craving for jam. as we might put it, upon his bread, led him to seek a less limited sphere for » -Jiis labours. He tried driving a wagon; '■ but that also became too monotonous for his cosmopolitan mind. Trade did not appeal to him; finance might have shown a temporary glamour — but he had nothing to invest; music and the high arta charmed him not at all. Then, one evening, chance* or fate threw in his way a temptation which proved irresistible. ,^t3f^.uKa« t passing: pensively along a wßiiborban' road, ' chewing the end of a ■^3E£igai«tte, inspecting the houses with his s*iewti<4l littl<^ «yefj, and wondering what niiis nfcxt mtiy? should 'be, wTi-en a neatlyt "ap rotted serva-qt-'maid bounced suddenly * ..from a doorway and cannoned violently ■ *' against him. «' ' "Oh, I'm that sorry !" gaep'ed the girl. L'J'l tripped over the mat. Did I 'urfc r^jrou?" 2Z "Not at. all," replied Mr. Pep cour-~-3eously., "liis a pleasure to be knocked by — by "stich a pair of "bright eyes," •^•fae continued. His metaphor somewhat '.!;Atfd,' he said, as he dust'i^ed his cap; J'you 'aye knocked me over, to error." • > ' Beneath .ids ardent gaze ihe girl wrig' iS led and blusjbed. It was an emotional Tflnoment, and- -whether the twilight, or 2i23Hr. Pep's •."gallaj&t manner moved her to *£6uch communioir, we know not; at any fixate Mr. *Pep~« during the next ten 7££minutes "gathered that the^ family was -j^away en vacdnce, that the girl had perto -» visit' her home for a couple * . of days, and that at the very moment ' ftwhen she haSd upset him-ehe was going -in search, of "it cab for her trunk and i'^lerself. MrV: Pep, pressing 'his advan*jtage, begged 1 permission to see her off; .".Hahe acceded, to his request,- and allowed £2Jiim to ari[ajig6,a meeting with her for •***hree day*Jahead. That appointment, LSUor reasons. .which the logical reader will Zs>6 able to afrfCbver and appreciate, was —■"•doomed to -b© A disappointment for one wT«f the parti&s-cSncerned, since, curiously mofefof the portable 'and valit-•»«-<aole articles belonging to that holidayT'J making family '^vanished completely that -yvery night, and have not been heard of -' since. '.-_ So does fafa — or chance^ — use tEe moat .'• inconsequent ; means whereby to shape '.our destinies.: Prom that twilit evening ",V dates the absorption of Mr. Pep in the of the_ Jaws which regulate the of property in this country, t 22fand, gradually, he became an undoubtexpert, ',in~ hk special subject. ' Not iis«ftlways did he- pursue his ,path unaft' the'Teader will see ; but he~i;fonnd life quite worth living. ■>■ On the mght of our story, Mr. James "'» Pep, having with great care tied up in 'I a sack the -very choice aeaortment of ; «ilverplate and bric-a-brac which, in obedience- to his advanced system of economics^ he deemed it necessary to remove surreptitiously from Bonanza House and turn into current coin, poured himself some whisky from a decanter on the sideboard, nodded a "good luck" to his dim reflection in the huge mirror, and glanced round to make ' sure that he ' had not overlooked anything valuable. Pensively pocketing a chased "oream • jug and a couple ot tiny bronze- 'ornament* — more' from a' desire to do his. work thoroughly and in a professional manner than ' because they werje -particularly costly — he adjusted t%e slide of his lantern and proceeded to, vacate the spacious room in the came manner- ac he had arrived — by the winQnce* safely in the garden with his burden,- he" took off his , gloves. He always wore, gloves when pursuing this branch of his system, which, was exceedingly, considerate of him, for everyone knows how very annoying it is to a tidy -housewife to find dii'ty fingermarks about. Then, shifting the back to a mace, comfortable position on his shoulder, .he struck ucroes country for the railway eidings of Bilton, a mile away. * He was just descending cautiously an uneven grassy bank which led to the lines when a figure silhouetted vaguely against ihe starlight gave him pause. It was unpleasantly .close, disagreeably burly, and even in the gloom it bore a remarkable Tesemblance to a policeman — the most utterly useless and superfluous member of society, according to Mr. Pe.p, that could be named. He softly unshipped his load, lowered it. into a nojlow, crawled down to the wire fane«, -and crept between the two bottom etrands Unfortunately, in. accomplishing this manoeuvfe one of tho button* of hi» coat caught a wire and twanged it 4 and at the deep, grumbling note, which Bhook and rattled Bympathetically the contiguous wires for yards on either side, the shadowy figure moved. Mr. _ Pep", wishing fervently that he possessed a cat's cushioned feet, and recording a £' -mental in«norandnm to the effect that -» - on his next excursion buttons should be *%'% ' eliminated, stooped under two pairs of ■^ buffers, placed a foot on the axle of a '*.', wheel, and insinuated himself with ''J great dexterity beneath the tarpaulin, of ■j' a ten-ton coal trnck. As he squirmed £ across the coal ■to get a view of- the T subsequent actions of th& policeman, * there came a brief whistle, a distant, husky cough, and the goods train to - which Mr. Pep-s hiding place apper- % . turned started, carrying Mr. Pep along *> with it. "■ £> ..Jfor * inUiute he dared not jump, as *t! th«T train moved in th» "direction of his -^_ ' ttieflj-y; and by (he tune that danger-

point was passed the speed was too great for a leap In the dark. Straight into the busy Bilton goods-yard the clattering trucks progressed, and pulled up in a blaze of electric arcs, to be dissected und shunted. Evidently Mr. Pep's best tactics we^e to wait, for here and there, all about, men were dotted, wagging lamps, shouting, examining the traffic. Fortune favoured him. Tn about five minutes a heavy engine, Xo. 21, clanked solemnly backwards just alongside tho car which held his watchful form, and stopped. The fireman climbed down, and, according to a brief dialogue Mr. P.ep was able to overhear, went off across the tracks towards the station in search of his midnight package of sandwiches ; the driver also descended, and walked to the front of the locomotive, j carrying an oil flare. The tarpaulin heaved t Hk© come slumberous monster,' and disgorged Mr. Pep. He landed iioibeieeely in ihe black shadow cast by the engine, and in another moment stood on the empty footplate. He was, by. no means an expert at engineering, ,but he knew— a£ does, every schoolboy— 'the .regulator Vhandley; and he also knew tliat if you Jet oil full steam too suddenly , the , wheels spin round without taking a grip on the rails, and nothing happens. So he banged over the reversing lever, and pushed the throttle open about, an inch. The great loromotive jumped forward ac, if a spring had been released, giving a mighty thick exhaust, almost Ike a gasp ot surprise-. The driver, startled out of his wits, had just time to leap clear, for he had been standing in front of the bogie, with one foot on the track ; he yelled, and grabbed at the handrail as it passed • him — but the toe of Mr. Pep's boot shot out and made him drop like a stone, with his yell changed to a howl of pain, and hie knuckles bleeding. In another half-minute hie dim figure might have been seen sprinting over the rails towards the Bilton No. 3 junction signals, holding one hand bundled up in a spotted handkerchief, while Mr. Pep,' his grasp well on the- lever of the widely opened steam-valve, was rumbling along on No. 2-1 through the echoing suburbs smiling grimly. Bl the greatest of good luck the track immediately in front of the engine happened to be free from traffic. After that first mile the amateur driver was well aware that every signalman on the main line would take very good .care to give him a clear road. ' The thirteen-bell call | (i.e. "Runaway on Wrong Line") would within five minutes be flashed right along | for as many miles as he was likely^to go, and it gave him quite a delightful thrill to think that the mail from Exover, a swagger train, would have to shut down her glorious run and scurry out of the w&y into come ' country siding until he had roared past. What they might do to stop him— derail him, switch him into a dead-end, or what not — he neither knew nor cared ; for one crowded hour he had charge of the up main of the Great Southern Joint Railway, and he intended to give them a run for the money before, he had finished. Ec might have stopped in the open- country, and crept back to Bilton ; once, as sad memories of the forsaken haul flitted across his mind, he thought he would return. Then it occurred to him that of course by this time the objectionable policeman, assisted probably by several enthusiastic friends, had discovered the sa-ck and its contents, and was saving it up as evidence; also he remembered that quite a few unpaid accounts, so to speak, were "out" against him. It was wiser, he decided, to sprint away from Bilton-J-and how better could it be accomplished than on this providentially provided engine? Besides, it -*was a new experience, and he began to enjoy it. What mattered a few months' seclusion at his country's expense to Mr. James Pep? Was he- not inured to such things? In fact, on the whole, did he not alino_t count on these interludes, allow for them in his calculations, regard them, in short, as not unpleasant rests in a somewhat strenuous existence? So pretty certain, of capture sooner or later whatever he did, he drove on, and smiled. A true philosopher indeed was Mr. James Pep. He found that in ten minutes No. 21 was rocking along at a tremendous rate, and he remembered that about eleven miles out of Bilton a branch. ,took off leading to Warle-igh. To fly off the rails at those switches — supposing they were set for him — would be Tiighly ignominious, to- cay nothing of -the risk to his life, so he shut off steam. His ideas as to the steam-brake were somewhat chaotic ; he tried turning one or two of the handles and only succeeded in uquirting hot water over himself and producing sundry awful noises. So he screwed down the tender brake, and managed to slow a bit; then when the jolting and gleam of a signal box assured him that he was well beyond the branch, ho tare ahead again. They had not switched him to Warleigh, and Mr Pep was having the time of his life. The red signal eyes scowling at him every now and then made him laugh. What did he care for danger-signals? Perfectly well he knew that the line was safe for him as far as Exover. Once he lessened his speed in sheer delight, as he approached a, wayside station, to glimpse the scared faces of .the staff as they peered and roared at him from the platfqrm; signalmen, too, were leaning fi'ooi their cabins to see him go by. H« kicked" back the firebox doors, and clumsily flung on a few lots of coals. For a truly charming twenty minutes he spun along comfortably, admiring his own cleverness, wondering occasionally whether after aU that policemari had discovered the "swag." Then, chancing to look back along the line he had traversed,, he saw a speck of light .... a speck that grow larger and larger. So ! They were chasing him, .weib they? Again ho thought they should have- a run for their money. Just .to see what would happen, he opened the throttle wide, and "let her rip." In two minutes the clamour of the huge machine, the thunder of her flight, scared him and at the same time fascinated him ; the beat of the pistons, and pounding rods became merged into one continuous, monotonous undertone, above which prevailed the loud, shuddering blast of the exhaust. He had to cling firmly to the rail to avoid being flung from side to side. It seemed to him that No. 21 must be hurling herself through spare at a hundred miles an hour; but he did not understand that she had been built for hauling enormous loads, not for brilliant record-breaking, and that her small driving-wheels kept her down to. about fifty or fifty-five. Nor did he know that behind him was racing the shapely "Vanessa," on© of the new passenger-fliers, 'the ' pride" of the company— accustomed to slam across the country at spurts of seventy -five and eighty miles an hour with a train of shining, sgick-and-span coaches— driven by Cotton, and fired by Burke, two of the cutest men in the G.S. J.R. , sheds. Against her 7ft wheels and 2251b pressure, No. 21, bulky and strong enougjii she might be, had no chance, in spits of the fact that her water was getting low, and her steam was blowing off furiout, iy. The Vanessa flew up the track, overhauling Mr. Pep, and screaming, as if with delight, fiooi her open whistle. It was some time before j,he caught up ; but when she began to draw nedr she bore down on him, towering and

trim and 'speedy, like- a' fiend, her exhaust one slumberous rush of sound, her cab windows glinting like two immense, wicked eyes. And when, by the exquisite driving of Cotton, she touched buffers with No. 21 — he felt the slight shoek — and beguu pushing him on, Mi. Pep thought his end was- come, so fierce ly were they all whizzing through tU" cavern of the night. Ho wondered win* would happen. He had not to wonder long. f< . shout made him look round. Ovy ' heap' of eoul shone the keen t,.\ Burke, beneath his peaked cap. ai rnuzzlo of a short, nasty-looKiiiQ ver glistened in a glaring way Infire. "Shut down, you infernal fool !" .» . . ed Burke, "or I'll shoot !" Mr. Pep lealised that his number was up. He had enjoyed tno little diversion, and theie was no need to spoil it by sheer pigheadedness. He nodded calmly, and shut off steam, then went to the hand-brake and screwed it tight, watching interestedly while Burke clambered down and swung over the little upright handle of the steam-brake. Cotton also slowed the Vanessa proportionately ; and as Mr. Pep glanced round, he found that it was just as well that circumstances had conspired to stop him, for they were siding through Exover main station. If No. 21 had tried to negotiate that maze of switches and facingpoints at anything over twenty miles per hour she would nave pretty well stood on her funnel with surprise. The last signalman they had passed had realised that the danger was practically over, and set the line so that the two locomotives took the side track leading to the sheds. He had better have allowed them to come to rest Harmlessly oil the main, for Burk© could, not quite pull up the ponderous goods-en-gine in time — the speed and weight were too great. The Vanessa, being more manageable and sensitive, stopped dutifully just outside the station, but No. 21 ran slowly into the gloomy cave of Exover sheds, tripped over a small yardengine that stuck in her path, swerved, went over the stop-wedges with a bump that nearly shook the pattern off the foreman's tie, barged into a brick wall, and brought up with a cough and a growl half in the open air, halt' under the roof. • "A very enjoyable little run," observed' Mr. Pep, pleasantly, as Burke screwed the mortar out of his eyes. The men on night duty gathered round, gaping, and Cotton came running up, prepared to hold Mr. Pep down while the others bound him with wire cables. But he simply stopped and gaped too. For Mr. Pep, smiling in the most genial fashion, was blandly offering him a cigarette from the very chaste and fra- ' grant case which he had picked up at Bonanza House, an hour or so ago. | Mr. Pep's return to Biltoii, accompanied by two gentlemen who had been detailed to escort him, was quite ordinary — in a third-class compartment, in fact. He is now, for a time, debarred from the active exposition of his economic theories; but he often smiles, as he tramps round the exercise yard, to think of the way he held ,up the line on the night he burgled Bonanza House.