CONTRABAND.

Evening Post, Volume LXXXI, Issue 23, 28 January 1911, Page 11

CONTRABAND.

— «. GOODS UNCUSTOMED AND FORFEITED. .WITH A LITTLE BEER. (By C. A. M.) You may slip it down your stocking, Contraband, contraband ; But. it's very, very shocking, Should the Customs come a-knocking With a paper in his hand, And an aspect firm, but bland. Jewels, laces— if you're got 'em, Slowed away in some fatee bottom, It's long odds i .c law will spot 'em, When it, knocking, comes unlocking. Chasing contraband. —The Bloque. Yon may beat the Customs, the lynxeyed Customs, once; you may beat it twice ; yea, three times ; but it is a sure thing that unless you die early in the midst of your sins, the Customs wiH beat yon eventually, and that spells a heap of troubler— for yon, of course. la the end, -when the annual balance is compiled, you will find that petty smuggling is as expensive as poloplaying, is not half so exciting as, say, gun-running, and, as compared with the bad old days of contrabandists, whose rwholesale establishment was a romantic cave near an accessible beach, it ,is not nearly so picturesque. As the rhymester quot-ed above sagely observes, the Customs officers are wary, trained people, whose strong sense of duty may take them info an inhabited stocking,' mrhere some filmy Brussels snuggles, or lead them to be successfully over-curious as to that false bottom of the Saratoga. You may be a suspect — " on information received " — and though your heart palpitates against a case of rings or your idgh heels may hide little receptacles of that popular black sedative, opium, the Customs will search every nook and cranny. You have mads your declaration, you have assurea the authorities that you are concealing ■nothing dutiable, a*id then — well, the law will not be mocked, and if, after the_ court has penalised yon, you do not think it worth while redeeming the contraband by paying the value, the duty, and the surtax, th«n the Collector of Customs will find ■room for the abandoned goods, and, after the statutory period of time, auction them. Then honest citizens rush in and obtain bargains — perhaps. OSTKICH FEATHERS 4ND. SOME PAINT. Only one man is permitted to harbour uncustomed goods, and he is the Collector of Customs. After a time, the Minister directing, the goods are sold to the highest bidder. Such a sale was conducted yesterday, when a collection made by Mr. C. S. Nixon, Collector of Customs, Wellington, was put up. Ostrich feathers, jewellery, scarves, cigars (of course 1), boots, clothing, tobacco (frail tempted man !), red painfc (an unusual item), and a d.b.b.l. gun — these were included in the collection. It often happens so, that the contrabandist, when detected and fined, does not find it worth his while to redeem the goods from Government pawn. When he is asked to pay, say, £6 (which includes all dues) for a bangle worth considerably less, his soul revolts at the idea, and he goes away saying hard things under his breath. The Government teaches such individuals a powerful lesson they will not soon forget, and the news, spread broadcast, acts as a wonderful deterrent. In some cases the articles undeclared and confiscated possess for their owner a sentimental value, and in a couple of instances not so long ago two lots of goods — wedding or some such presents — were redeemed ilyA STOCK OF OPIUM. The Collector on Jervois-quay has in his possession a lot of opium, some 100 . tins or more, and valued at about £3 1 per tin. That, of course, will not be i sold, simply because the Act forbids it. Wiug Wong or Jimmi Sing would, i doubtless, be only too glad to enrich the ! Governmental coffers to the extent of i £300 or thereabouts, but it must not be. ■ It is reserved for the "King's Tobacco ; Pipe" — a well-coloured meerschaum that t will send fumes up to the eight winds j of Heaven (reckoning that Wellington 5 has more than the average) without cxi, periencing any of the emotions that go | with a bird's nest supper and an opium 1 dream to follow. It is a sad waste. | And is it absolutely impossible to make | us© of it? Fefhaps it might serve a * purpose in the mysterious laboratories * of the Victoria College when experis ments are in order or in preparation. t Doubtless the demonstrators would be f able to acquire the drug at a cheap rate, \ and it should be useful experimentally. | AFTER THREE YEARS. J There is another class of goods with i which the collector at times must deal. | These are bonded goods unclaimed. If j after three years (the maximum period) : these cast-offs are not cleared, they may j be "disposed of as the Minister may di- ■ xect. That is, unless in the mean- \ time all dues " on the articles are paid, |or they are re-warehoused, or bought I out and exported. But there need not |be a useless destruction of such goods *~\ if, when auctioned, they do not find i favour with the buyers. If the articles | can be made use of in any branches of = the Public Works Department the Minlister may, in his discretion, direct they '.(be so used. For instance, some glass •'. lamps and shades remained over after ■ jthe sale of a consignment of forfeited „| bonded stock, and these were sent along \!to one of the department's branches, and .■jput into active service. This appears to *jbe_ a more enlightened way oi dealing ,'jwith such flotsam than ruthlessly de- -, j stroying it. In connection with the I palp of the forfeited uncustomed goods, * lit is interesting to note that the collector ' ]may wield the hammer should the goods , j return, or be valued at, less than £10. i -Beyond that figure the collector must jpossess an auctioneer's license. j CONFISCATED BEER— A SUGGES- '•] TION. ] It is a thing to be remembered every iot Sunday — that drenching of the [drain's throat with the 300 bottles of ; 'Ibeex seized by the indefatigable poHc* . jon tfre eve of a seasonable celehra>tion ,'dhat promised a conviviality more than 'Visual. Many a man, one- may dare "■affirm, took that shameful waste as a '-^personal affront, but there was no help - =for it. The Act provides that the beei i - I—bottled1 — bottled beer, too, my Bacchus ! — shall , Ifae dealt with as the court may direct, , ifcnd the court had directed it to be j * "thrown away down the throat of a " *£--pacious inanimate which could not respond to the cool, copious gurgle. All * tjihat remains of the amber flood is the .' /nemory and a pile of shattered bottles 1 ton the reclamation where the gulls -J=cream and the pipe from the dredge ■* Vomits sea-floor debris over the shattered "As the court may .direct" 3nclud«s the option of ordering the liquor to be sold. Those interested in •fliquor statistics will remember how at AVaihi a wealth — the size of toper's ' Jlream of heaven — of beer wab " ar- ,. V-est-ed " and carted across the prohibition border, where a large audience -"otiu-ght its refreshment in lots cheap. " 3t is stated that one objection to ordering confiscated liquor to be sold is that •*% sets up competition with legitimate *- '-Jeaiers. But the legitimate dealer could -^>rotrct himself by purchasing the un- - licensed fluid. Surely, say many, such H waste a* was perpetrated recently apJaears both needless and illogical. It is

suggested that such Government institutions as the Hospital and Benevolent Home would have been grateful for some of that beer, and that in future the , booty of such raids should be handed over in reasonable quantities to instituI tions of the above nature. But to send it swimming down the sewers, down into the dark aewers !