WORDS AND WORK.

Evening Post, Volume LXXX, Issue 38, 13 August 1910, Page 9

WORDS AND WORK.

IN PARLIAMENT. THE WEEK IN BRIEF. (By Earsye.) PtIESS GALLERY, Saturday. Three weeks of Financial Debate, with no finance worth mentioning. Three .weeks- of ''You did; I didn't."; three .weeks of teaseHnW-freehold Catherine wheels ; tluee weeks of the muddy road between Iviohikfr.etarautati and Nomataratatna. rt.vwevev, Budget debates are not ■•.xpected lo stick to Budgets. It is one time when the parochial politician can ms&e th" village pump creak for all New Zealand to hear, and can he hr blar.jpd for working the handle for the fall hour ! So members' hays slept wliik t-rethnm have loaded Hansard v»ith the railt-ay station that lacks a vorandnh. B'li. for the vnqujct heart and brain, A wjc In measured language lies; The aad mechanic exercise, Like •»!-•!] narcotics numbing pain. Day lias slowly followed day, the drab days h*ve merjed into weeks, and the weeks hive wearily stretched to three since iiie Budget turned members' thoughts away froui the Budget. The days have vanish'd, tone and tint, And yet, perhaps, the hoarding sense Gives out at times (he knows not *h*ni'e) 'A little flash, a mystic hint. These little flashes have been merely like sheet lightning on a summer night, and the subsequent darkness has soemed more intense. Still, now that the Budget debate is over, members, satisfied that they have spoken nobly for the needs of" their districts, may be in a mood to study the Budget and get on with tbo country's business. For three weeks the Assembly ha 3 sat, like a clucking hen, on a china egg. Another view makes Parliament look like a political hurdy-gurdy, whirling around the parochial mulberry bush. THE BETTER LAND. * "I hear the© speak of a better land," sings Mr. Massey at Sir Joseph Ward, and the Leader of the Opposition desires a specification. Will it be freehold or leasehold, free-leasehold, lease- freehold, lease-free-leasehold, or vice versa, or any-old-hold ? Sir Joseph's answer is practically "There is a happy land, far, far away" — somewhere in the Government's mind, if the curious will only have patience. The rank and file have sung in similar strain, till now the audience's head is all a-buzz. The oftchanted questions and answers about the mysterious land remind the writer of some pretty lines of allegory which he read long ago :—: — "Where lies the land to which the ship would go?" "Far, far ahead," is all her seamen know. •'And where the land she travels from?" "Away, ■Far, far behind," is all that they can say. THE MIGHT-HAVE-BEEN. The Opposition cowered behind its little desk-boxes. Mr. Massey screened his head with a mammoth Hansard ; Mr. Hine hid behind a radiator; Mr. James Allen claimed "sanctuary" at the steps of the Speaker's throne ; Mr.- Herdman took refuge in the ladies' gallery. Fear was on every face that lacked "the right colour" ; teeth chattered like the jingle of castanets, and knees trembled in an ague of terror, for a Government member was rampant. For awesome moments he volleyed and thundered, and the rumblings made the Mace shiver and shudder. Suddenly the tone changed; the voice was a mock-tragic whisper of irony, breathing a withering scorn — then blasts, trumpet and clarion ! clamour, roars of wrath. Mr. Massey fled, and the clock went faster. j That is something that did not happen — which is regrettable. Instead, there was the slow trickle of Hansard treacle, viscous dark-drawn loquacity. MR. HINE'S GALVANIC BATTERY. On Wednesday night, Mr. J. B. Hine (Stratford) threatened "to electrify the House and the country." The watches of the night had been weary, and members were yawnful, till Mr. Hine produced his galvanic battery. It purported to be charged with Tammany acid. Members took a grip of the handles that Mr. Hine threw out, and .waited, tensely, for the thrill, the shock. "All the air a solemn stillness held." The current tarried. Mr. Hine, ,who is a grave man. read sepulchrally from a big book. He took his awed audience back to the year 1677, when somebody had something horrible done to him for accepting bribes from the French. He went steadily from 1677 to 1910, and then his victims, of a cruel suspense expected names. Mr. Hine, however, had nothing moTe definite than "a member of Parliament," and a disappointed House, unusually steeped in gravity, quickly recovered its levity. The acid had not worked; the shock 'or House and country did not come. "Where is the electrification?" murmured more than one Government member. Yet one knows not how many volts Mr. Hine may presently send through the House. .' 'A CHALLENGE TO MR. GLOVER. , Mr. A. E. Glover, of Auckland Cen tral, has been challenged by Mr. J. V. Brown, of Napier, for the mirth-making laureis which a grateful House has put j on his brow. On Thursday "right Mr. Brown made the House laugh much during his hour, and it is very pleasing * to know that Mr. Glover was among the Heartiest laughers. Mr. Glover, far trom showing resentment at the advent of a rival fun-maker to push him from his stool of pre-eminence, seemed thoroughly glad to have a companion in . comedy. Atcei Mr. Brown's speech had ceased, Mr. Glover remarked to numbers of the Press Gallery that He had never heard anything that nad * pleased him so well as Mr. Brown's achievement. r ' DR. FINBLAVS TWO HOURS. The greatest feat of the week was the , Attorney-General's two hours' speech in the Legislative Council, when moving the 1 second reading of the Crime.'. Act Amendment Bill. The Hon. Dr Findlay's Bill ; proposes to introduce Mi. Work to the incorrigible 'Y>guc and vagabond, and set > up something better than a nodding acquaintance beUvemi them. The chronic weary have the vision of a cold bath every morning, and eight hours' toil, . at no restful "Government stroke.'' Brown sheep are to be divided from black sheep, and all shades of criminal sheep are to De giaded apart from the goats, and they will all ha\e a life suited to their tem- • peraments. ':r. Findlay had the compliment of a .•ndienco. asking foi more - after listening for two hours. He hus- ■': bandnd his 'Dire well, and scarcely ever ■ raised it above a conversational tone. • Hb preferred to got his special effects . with a diminuendo (with a suggestion ■ of a quaver in pathetic passages) rather r than by crescendo. Tho speech was agreeable but not thrilling, because the j periods though nicely composed, lacked \ fluency The orator appeared to bo | glancing inwardly at mental tablets, the lfi<nircs and fails which he had carefully \ scored on tho brain. Dr. Findlay has a X »ar,v exceptional memory, impressively j absorbent. He rubs his jt«*e over a \ jjhuo, and :ip goeD the print. His power . I of "memorisins has been a splendid asset.

THE GRAXD FIIsALE Th« w»ek ended in FcintillatioiUL "The Silent Member," Mr. C. A. C- Hardy, made some jests last night, and then camo ttia sonorousness of the Hon. A. T. Ngata, prior to the rush to Auckland. Mr. Glover is confident that this excursion will win him som« support for his plea that tho Mace and Black Rod and the Governor should be permanently domiciled in Auckland.