CONCERNING COMETS.

Evening Post, Volume LXXIX, Issue 83, 9 April 1910, Page 10

CONCERNING COMETS.

The. near approach of Halley's comet has led the Argonaut- to reprint from its files the appended essay contributed to its pages by the late "Bill Rye," when the comet of 1885 was on tour in this part of the solar system. The lamented author treated his theme in a highly original manner, and probably no more remarkable article on the subject has ever been printed. It is a characteristic blend of facts, fancies, philosophy, and humour :—: — The comet is a kind of astronomical parody on the planet. Comets look some like planets, but they are thinner and do not hurt so hard when they hit anybody as a planet does. The comet was so called because ib had hair on it, I believe, but of late years tho baldheaded comet is giving just as good satisfaction everywhere. The characteristic features of Ihe comet arc : A nucleus, a nebulous light or coma, and usually a luminous train or tail worn high. Sometimes several tails are observed on one comet, but this occurs only in Hush times. When 1 was young I used to think I would like to be a comet in the sky, up above the world so high, with nothing to do but loaf around and play with the little new-laid planets and have a good tim<j, but now I can see where I was wrong. Comets also have their troubles, their perihelions, their hyper bolas, and their parabolas. A little over three- hundred yoars ago Tycho Brahe discovered that comets were extraneous to our atmosphere, and since then times have improved. 1 can see that trade is steadier, and potatoes run less to tops than they did before. Soon after that they discovered that comets all had more or less periodicity. Nobody knows how they got it. All tho astronomers had been watching them day und night, and didn't know when they were exposed, but there was no time to talk and argue over the question. There were two or three hundred comets all down with it at once. It was an exciting time. Comets sometimes live to a great age. This shows that the night air is not so injurious to the health as many people would have os believe. The great comet of 1680 is supposed to have been the one that was noticed about the time of Caesar's death, 44 8.C. ; und still, when it appeared in Newton's time, seventeen hundred years after it& first grand farewell tour, Ike said that it wac very well preserved indeed, and seemed to have retained all its faculties in good shape. A late writer on astronomy said that the substance of the nebulosity and the tail is of almost inconceivable tenuity. He said this, and then death came to his relief. Another writer says of the comet and its tail that "the curvature of the latter, and the acceleration of the periodic time ii. tho case of Encke's comet, indicate their being affected by a resisting medium which has never been observed to have the slightest influence on the planetary periods." I do not fully agree with the_£minent authority, though he may be right. Much fear has been the result of the comet's appearance ever since the world began, and it is as good a thing to worry about as anything I know of. If wo could pet close to a comet without frightening it away, we should find that we could walk through it anywhere as wo could througti the blare of a torchlight procession. We should so live that wo will not bo ashamed to look a comet in the eye, however. Let us pay up our newspaper subscription, and lead such lives that when the comet strikes we will be ready. Some worry a good deal about the chances for a big comet to plow into the sun some dark rainy night, and thus bust up the whole universe. I wish that was all I had to worry aflout. If any responsible man will agree to pay my taxes and funeral expenses, I will agree to do his worrying about the comet's crashing into the bosom of the sun and knocking it* daylights out. There is much in the great field of astronomy that is discouraging to the ia van t who hasn't the time to rummage around through the heavens. At times I am almost hopeless, and feel like saying to tho great yearnful, hungry world : "Grope on for ever. Do not ask me for another scientific fact. Find it out yourself. Hunt up your own new-laid planets, and let them have a rest. Never ask me again to sit up all night and take care of a newborn world, while you lie in bed and reck not." I get no salary for examining the trackless void night after night when I ought to be in bed. I sacrifice my health in order that the public may know at once of the presence of a red-hot comet, fresh from tho factory. And yet what thanks do 1 get 7 Is it surprising that every little while I contemplate withdrawing from scientific research to go and skin an eightmule team down through the dim vista of relentless years? Then, again, you take a certain style of star, which you learn from Professor Simon Newcomb is such a distance that it takes fifty thousand years for its light to reach Boston. Now, we will suppose that after looking over tho Urge •tock of new and secondhand stars, and after examining the spring catalogue and price-list, I decide that one of the smaller size will do me, and I buy it. How do I know that it was there when I bought it ? Its cold and silent rays may have ceased forty-nine thousand years before I was born, and the intelligence be still on the way. There is too much margin between sale and delivery. Every now and then another astronomer comes to me and says : "Professor, I have discovered another new sUv, and I intend to file it. Found it lait night, about a mile ■and a-half south of the zenith, running loose. Haven't heard of anybody who has lost a star of the fifteenth magnitude, about thirteen hands high, with light mane and tail, have you?" Npw, how do I know that he has discovered a brand-new star? How can I discover whether he is or is not playing an old, threadbaro star on me for a new one? We are told that there has been no perceptible growth or decay in the star business since man began to roam around through space, in his mind, and make figures on the barn-door with red chalk showing the celestial time-table. No serious accidents have occurred in tho starry heavens since I began to observe and study their habits. Not a star has waxed, not a star has waned, to my knowledge. Not a planet has season* cracked or shown any of the injurious effects of our rigorous climate Not a star ha 3 ripened prematurely or fallen off the trees. The varnish on the very oldest stars i find, on closo and critical 'examination, to be in splendid condition. They will all, no doubt, wear as long as we need them, and wink on long after we have ceased to wink back. In 1866 there appeared suddenly in the Northern Crown a star of about the thitd magnitude and worth at least two hundred and fifty dollars. It was generally conceded by astronomers that this was a brand-new stur that had never been used, but upon consulting Avgelander's star catalogue and price-list it was found that this was not a new star at all, but an old faded-out star of the ninth magnitude, with the front breadths turned wrong side out and trimmed with moonlight along the seams. After a ffw days of phenomenal brighlnsu, it gently ceatod to draw a salary as a star of the third jnagnituda,

and walked home with an "Uncle Tom's Cabin" Company. It is such things as this that make the life of the astronomer one of constant and discouraging toil. I have lone, contemplated, as I j&y, the advisability of letiring from this field of science and allowing others to light the northern lights, skim the milky way, and do other celestial chores. I would do it myself j cheerfully if my health would permit, but for years I have realised, and so has ray wife, that my duties as an astronomer ' kept me up too much at night, and my wife is certainly right about it when she says if I insist on scanning the heavens night after night, coming home late with the cork out of my telescope, and my eyes red and swollen with these exhausting night vigils, I will be cut down in my prime. So I am liable to abandon the great labour to which I had intended to devote my life, my dazzling genius, and my princely income. I hope that other savants will spare me the pain of another refusal, for my mind is fully made up that unless another skimmist is at once secured, tho milky way will henceforth remain unskum.