LIFE'S FITFUL FEVER. ODD SYMPTOMS.

Evening Post, Volume LXXV, Issue 45, 22 February 1908, Page 9

LIFE'S FITFUL FEVER. ODD SYMPTOMS.

IBy Dr. F. H. Charitj.) Thq Canterbury Museum Jonah is making a struggle to swallow tho whalo which wandered ashore at Hokitika recently to bo in lime for the champagne at the hig Otira tunnel opening ceremony. It is reported that "probably soruo Epecial provision will have, to bo made at the museum for tbe reception of the skeleton.'" vlt is lucky that- tho cetacean — as the whalo is sometimos called — did not stfo'J into Evans Bay to hear the latest gojyip about the Patent Slip and the Dry Dock. Such a notion would havo cost the- City Council a couple of thousand pounds, for the ' Corporation would have agreed that tho Newtown Old Curiosity Depot, somefchnes known as . the Petherick .Museum, should ba enlarged to accommodate the skeleton. Lee ris all pray that the immense'sea serppnt, .vhich was ssen near tho Chatham!! lecently, will not get stranded here. The authorities should put up notices along tho beach warning vagrant marine monsters to keep off the shore, under - pain of .taxation on the unimpioved ■?alue. By the way, Mr. P. B. Publica "mentions' that a few more curios should be placed in the Petherick Museum. l7 TVhy nave models of those Chinese puzzles, the Palace Cars boen overlooked?" he asks, indignantly. "Why is thero no representation of the-Patent Slip, with a suitable inscription by the chairman of the Harbour Board. Why is there no day statuette of Public Opinion in tho guise of a lion asleep, with a bedraggled mane, a nose out of joint, and a, rugged tail, worn down to a stump, with the persistent pulling.'' The opening season is in full swing-, and a State oyster bed . is one of' the things opened. A splendid chance for n, great display, was lost. X no " people are weary o* the uiual opening ceromony, tho breaking of a piece of blue ribbon across the mouth of the' culvert, the ordering the water and tho charppagne to How, the talk about the total, imports and exports of New' Zealand, the miles oi railway and telagraphia line in all these islands and thp amount id the Post Office Savings Bank at Taihap'e. But the oysters .lent themselves to pleasant novelty. The oi Mines could have delved into tho shells to , bring forth tho gentle oysters, the Ministei of Education could have thought out a recipe for the sauce, tho Native Ministor could • have chanted an appropriate folk-song in Maori, tho Minister of Labour. could have looked after the frying of the chips. There was an opportunity for every member" of the Cabinet to do something brilliant and not one of them seized the' skirts of happy chance; The oysters aro disgusted, and the stout- jfe-ulking. Ths bake-rs have, taken their toll- out of poor Wellington citizens, the landlorccs are at it ail the time, some of the barbers have doubled their prices, and now, the cobbler, tired of sticking to his last., wants to stick- to the purse of the ijahappy father of a 'family. £hd average man has been ip the habit of surrendering §s or 6s to' have, a parr 1 of boots re- - noyated here — a substantial advance on quotations , ip, other centres— but the r> pairera groan: about 1 the Nearness of leather &mj "tools Soon we may expect to hear, undertaker. -'„. (now -f , the "t'flrieral -or^ th?,- ;''Jurnisner'') -Imitating- an American"*"example and ejaculating : "~)Yhy live when you can be buried handsomely and .comfortably at anominal figure^— \Q per c.enti off\ioc cash?" KaroVl'is th.« only- i place for. it," ip-th«(se. limes,' when huit|er is threatening' to --become a pariouf teurio, like? the old'iashioncd-ship in a bottle. ' If Kichard' had lived in - Wellington he would not have sighed— "Ob, for a little grave, a little,- little grave," a nameless raure," or 'similar .words. ..-jWitb t land £20 a foot, he would have selected eoinethjng else iop his restijig-place.. : '*The i 'procession yrns. very' .unique. Sir Joseph and -Ladv- Ward'' joined in' the proceEsiooY stated 'a nressage-frbin potoTua, describing. lho openujg'ot a carnival in Tourjston. Did Sir "Joseph " carry a flag, or a banner emblazoned "with" a jtourisl'. rampant aud'" claimant- asUhe Attor ney.Gcneral inlgljt' shy— in checks, Uuder than a brass brand? What did Sir Joseph do?- JWhat made .that >r rery . unique" ? Agaia the reader has to speculate, i Did toe ' Prime Minister flourish a motto — '"Down -with defence and up with the old scarecrow, the effc?3 volunteer force?" It is good to hear that thfc procession, which was so plentiful when Britons ■ware bleeding for tae bleeder landlords, has not altogether died out. "A punitive expedition killed and wounded 160 of the- Kisii tribe near the lake terminus' of the Uganda Piailway for attacking Mr. Xorthcote, District Commissioner, nr;d murdering" ar ' Indian trader The , Kisii,< tribesmen have sarrendeTod," ran.-a cable despatch on Thursday. -Punitive" ih a soft word in this age which calls- a, slaughterhouse an abattoir. It is nicer tor the Jamb to have its throat cut in ar abattoir" than in a. skughter-houso, even at Chicago, fit's a fine day. " Let'e 'go out ' and- have a punitive cxpedil-oD," is tho latest version of-a. fairly old, saying. It' is sad to be a bjack in the black's own country.. Tho blacks hate tilled .ice another cheerfully for age?. What is an ■ Jntjian trcidor, more or lesi, to them?' In a few years can they acquire the fastidiousne?s which has taken centuries cf civilisation to develop in Europe? Ihe expectations of tfle whites are Mko the aspirations of a fiirta!] boy vho aught, hope to makr a wnd tiger eat out of his hand the day after v. was caught- The Risij tribesmen have surrendered, but for how long? At last the law ha's preyed that it is not always an ess. The other day at Duneo'iu a juror'-jast a common juror look ill suddenly, and the judge ordered the empanelling of ' a fresh -jury and a re-hearing of the case. Everybody thought that the law raada jio provision for the ills of jurors, «md when the msc ! was finished -it was discovered that the Old Criminal Code supplied 'a >-eniedv for the emergency. The judge's oversight was very unfortunate. Whenever politicians arc -again accused of slipshod legislation, they will for ever- hark back to the Dunedin rase. Who was -the busybody that detected tho provision in the Criminal Code? Out upon him. Ho ■waa no patriot.