LIFE'S FITFUL FEVER. ODD SYMPTOMS.

Evening Post, Volume LXXV, Issue 33, 8 February 1908, Page 9

LIFE'S FITFUL FEVER. ODD SYMPTOMS.

(By Dr. F. H. Charity.) 'In fairness to the much-abused occult irt of astrology, may I bring before tho notice of your rc.'idcrs the following prediction in Zad kid's Almanac for L9CB"'' 1 wvotc bne "Uranus" to ono of Wellington's morning papers on Wednesday. "At Lisbon the conjunction of Mars and Saturn in l'isces takes place it llh 16m [on 30th December, 1907), just abo\e the eastern horizon in the ireondiag sign of Portugal. The au'.horities there are warned accordingly lo beware of an attempt at revolution." Raphael's Almanac predicted "turbulence ,n many countries and affliction of Pisces illecting Portugal particularly." Lately a local astrologer made a shot :or an earthquake, a hurricane, or a tidal A'ave. Ho missed, but this failure need lot discourage him. He may soon predict something like this:— "Owing to iho conjunction of a surplus and a shortage of Ministers of the Crown we may axpect to tee Cabinet reinforced and •alavies raised- Ihe frown on the face af the man in the moon «hows that Maoris should be permitted to fish withDut a license at Rotorua, and also betokens great activity in the ranks of labour. On the 13lh dcy of last month l rook made wing around tho left flank af Moua£ Victoria ; this is a portent of further^rass fires at Nircaha. On the 7th day of the 7th month a^cloud will come over the face of tho run, and tho people are warned . to get their umbrellas and top coa,ts mended in time. .Many other things will also happen." Tt if Very soothing to hear that our old friend the sea-serpent is still up and ibout. The Norfolk Island correspondent of the Christchurch Press, mentioned that Mr. Seipent was last teon on ■ the 12th December hi the water? of Norfolk Island. He was then from "four to five hundred feet in length," not all out. Ha was only "aboul two feet in diameter, colour dark brown, shading to giey . - Two sharp horns r-Uick up above tho eyea, and there was what appeared to bo a long hairy beard under the head. It was said to be accompanied by three pilot fish, one in front, and one on each tide." It seems that the correspondent mado a mistake in the date. It was probably on the 25th December that the monster was seen, and the colour, "dark brown, shading to grey" "suggest a good length of ••tout ship's. cibie. To a man full of Christmas cheer the diameter could eaoily appear to bo two feet., especially if ho tripped over it. Mr., P. B. Publico, however, says tnat the Norfolk upland story is quite right. Ho says that he has known the ftca Serpent for quite a long time. Ho knew him when the beard w.as a rich'brown ; the whiskers are now streaked with' grey. v Mr. Publico also states that the Serpent's eyes arc failing, and ho is obliged to wear spectacles, hooked back around tho horn?, when ho desires to read the stories that are written about him. Strange to say, the Serpent .was once only a tiny eel" in a New Zealand creek, but, he developed a for the pearls of wisdom dropped so plentifully by the politicians here, and this diet pulled hi& tail out so long that he had to put to sea to &tretch himself and yawn in comfort. "Special prizes," it is reported, "have been given by the Marlborough Agricultural and 'R-"iroral Association for farm and domestic servants v. ho have speniv the mest lengthy terms of servico with one. empioypr." If tins example is ccpied in -Wellington w ? may anticipato a paragraph to this effect: — "The first prize for 'Generals' was annexed by Mass Merely Marianne, who had put up the astounding record of 9 hours 17 minutes aud 11 Seconds at ono house, boating tha Maori's latest record (from heads to heads) by 2.7 sneopda. When asked how she happened to stay so long at the one place, she said : 'I liked tho mistress from the first., and sho liked me. She told me that a dish or a cup more or lets would bs neither here nor there, ahd that sealed tho friendship. I was very sorry indeed to leave when I did, but yoxi know that when a girl has been in tho one housa for such' a time she wants to leave somehow ;" it is the -wander-lust, I suppose. None of us know when ware well off, you know. The lady— the other 'lady, you know — gavo me a token of esteem in recognition of my long period of service.' The second prizs was awarded to Miss Suze Aimer, whose achievement came within three Beconds of the champion's. Each received a hantl&ome marble clock." Webb and Tresidder art> hard at it. Wanganui is maintaining its reputation as a place which proves that the age oi miracles is not past. Tho more the champions eat and the harder they work, the fatter they grow. The trainers are rhoicughly mystified, but they are not familiar with tho " fasting facts. Also thes* crsfk oarsmen puil faster the further they go. If the race was a hundred miles, they would bo invisible passing the post, and would probably shoot clean off Ihe earth into the starry spare, and would .become comets, circling Iho globe for ever apd ever, canding astronomers into transports of excitement and tho astrologers into unprecedented bun/fs of prophecy. Our own astrologer might then predict' that Mount Victo:ia would tjci up and walk away to sr^ uh'it v.as happening to the tow that jumped over the moon. If- is -very comforting to learn that a .Wellington syndicate has invaded Auckland, has captured a property of 383 Bcves, and will probably dole ii out by the inch to Aucklanders. The people of the Queen City have bozn so proud of their estate, to fond of boasting about the loveliness which Kipling was ill-advised enough to praise, that the- inhabitants of tlio capital will rather be glad' than sorry to see a syndu-ato swooping upon the northerners. Wollin^tonians, who have been forced by high prices to look upon the earth ;is almost solid gold, can well spare that syndicate. It is a very lru& raying that une can find 'much consolation in other people's misfortunes ; it is very heart-easiny U> know that people m other centres are having au innings jvith the syndicates. "If those ey-es could only see, if thoao lips could only speak," wioto an ultrasentimental song-mamitarturer not long ago. Tho worde just came a moment ago into Dr. Charity's mind, and he ondered what tho 'lock would say if its great jpws could only waggle. It would be a speech which only the most inveterate politician could hope to rival for length and inteasily of lone. Tho dock of Clyde-quay would go back a few years, and would usu violent language about the Harbour Board, the City Council, the Government, and uio nonchalant people of Wellington who, generally, seem unable to see further than a penny tram section. The dock e.iys that it never wanted to be t at Clyde-quay, and before it shifts it desires to state that not for ships alone are'docks neede-l — a remark which harks bark to one made by Mr I'ublko — "It is time that o Chair of Common-sense .was established at the University.' 7