THE TELEPHONE SNOB.

Evening Post, Volume LXXIV, Issue 138, 7 December 1907, Page 15

THE TELEPHONE SNOB.

A Victorian paper says tho Postmast-er-Gcncrnl has come lo the rescue of those landladies to whom the telephone has heon a. pcrrocl pest. If they did not instal it, boarders growled ; if they did instal it the Voluble brigade look charge of it, there was more growling and deeper. You know the Voluble branch of tbe great snob family. They aro nothing if not loud. To them, a telephone in tho passago of a crowded boardinghoiise is a voritablo gift of tho gods— of tho gods below. They pounco on it, and they monopolise it. They hold conversations long and loud with imaginary interlocutors. Thoso conversation:! are intended to impress fellow-boarders with the ided, that they — the Vohiblca — aro in closest touch with all the tilled globe-trotters in Australia. Tho trick is tho simplest in the world. Tho Volubles ring up Hadley's: — "Is Lady Pinchbeck rheroS" Then an answor, of course innudiblo to the boarders I in tho breakfast-room, the door of wbioh I has been carefully left. open. Then, cx- | pressing much snrprisu, the Volubles ask for Sir Joseph and tho Missos Nora and Cora Pinchbeck. The}' aro advised lo try Hoalliorn's, and they do, •whilst a permanent boardor, who is ono of tho most valued assets, eyes the instnunonl with an ovil frown, mutters something about "parvunuea," and shuts the door with a slam. Tho Volublos can and do vary tho performance. They ring up other members of tho olan, and oxchango inanities concerning visits to Lady Strickland — who is not expecting tho pleasure of intimate lolc-a-tolo with thorn — or concerning tho probable cljoot of tho drought on "Balmoral," which likely enough is a suburban cottage, with a garden tho sizo of a big tablecloth. Tho landlady afflicted with FoJublcs receives consideration at tho hands of tho Postmaster-General \mdcr a departmental regulation just issued, which enables ponny-in-lhu-slot telephones to bo put in boardinghouaeß, provided a minimum rental is guaranteed. A penny for caoli thrco minutes is ls 8d an hour, and that, is 13d 4d per talking day of eight hours. Under tho now system tho other boarder* will bo able to slip in a word now and then.

Under the title, "Our Homo-bred Athletes," Punch quotes (ho following item from the Daily Mail: — "Should tho final nrriingomonts bo satisfactorily arranged, tho strugglo bot.weoii llnclrenschniidf, Vadoubny, and Zbysco would bo ono of Iho groafesl. events in the annals of British sport." On which ho comments thus — "Ti-uo Rntiih sport, indocd, with a Scotchman, un Jnplunun, and a XVolshuian all cpnipoting togpthor like this. 1 -'