The Bore.

Evening Post, Volume LXVII, Issue 132, 4 June 1904, Page 10

The Bore.

SOME ENGLISH LINES ON A TYPE KNOWN EVERYWHERE. At 6.10 on the 23rd June, Following my cusiom of aa afternoon, A little weary, meditative, slow, I strolled up Piccadilly towards the Row. v.hen (.uddeniy, ere 1 liad time to see If Hell or any Llub weie near to me, I found my mm • puinpiiaiiuled' up and down By one I think the greatest Bore in tow n. "My ut\ r o.d chap," the coarse tongued iuuk ci.eu" I jju.jjm Ui down, Iltaven knows what i K^/.itd— "liou me jou'f Wotked to death? W« au ore ! A^e? I'ne\tr a inomeut in the day! I seiuum nie_i uu nun ; uLe mv, no cioub;, You vc been obliged to give up dining outr" Heie lelt I mo^t omta^cously inclined, ah \u lfa ar jj-o^le uo 1.0 p^ulc Hi) M.udj And bu>, ' vv uut, Oh .nuiie,i*,uu.o.c bore, 'liuiik Uod gn\e uiu my Qigcaion lor? Ai,d »hail 1 not «n>p.oy the prcciotib 000 a Avoiding to ihe Douor's wislcfc, .0011? l«or ii ever, like the rift in lute, Or tiUie pii.ei tpiuk in gunieiej fm.it. As sings our Tennyson, )ou have marred good far«, Or vexed j,oud company by being there, 'Thus ill, but it h over; fure you we.l; But quit the town from Hyde Park to Pah Mai.; At one plate only y6u're nb longer üble To stir mild bloods, and that's the Dinner Table." But tyrant manners kept me meek and mute, While he ran on, the little galling brutal Do you write nowt You know I always thought, In spite of ail the critics, you had caught A coal from off the altar, on the whole, It nvcjlit bo Mnull, perhaps, but still a coal. The day may coma when some one I could name Mai-^lnll attention-—" Here I felt on flame, And snonld have blazed, but "fire will drive out fire." Ab fools say Bacon Bang to Shakcspeare'i lyre ; He linked his arm in mine! The action quenched My rnge at once ; I own I fairly blenched Biifore the thought that he would proudly show Me as his captive to the gasping Row. "Where w«re you going when we met?' 1 snid lib ; "Let's to the Gardens for a cup of lea." At this I swore a silent oath or two, For that was just what I was going to do ; And above all tilings wanted to be free To join a tablo winch Augustu V.— — As I had every reason to feel sure — Had sent her servant forward t'b seuire. Sd I : "I f^ar 1 can't' ; I've svvorn to go And sit with poor old Blank an hour or so j He broke his leg, you know, the other day." "Of course he did I Well, Pont-streel's in my way ; 111 go and see him, too 5 poor, 'dear old man, He's 'Chairman of the 'Phil-Athenian.' And more than once has atkfed me to belong. You're pot a member? Oh I Then I was wrong To mention this: don't peach on me, I pray." The small, insufferable popinjay 1 He funks, thought I, because he sa.w m« g".n; The idea that Blank should want to bring him in ! • We've heard that once the Romati Seaate sat Unmoved to see a Horse Chief Magistrate ; But though they brooked to hear their Consul "neigh, We well might shudder at this Donkey'i bray; And, after all, it may be safely said Caligula-'s btest jpalffey was woll bred 5 Besides, thos~fe KbVnans were a feeble lot t Their Emperor, too, was mad, which • Blank is not. So mused I 5I 5 he went lying on alono Aoout great people ho could scarce have known 1 And who were proud to scribble, so h» said, For some damned magazine he edited ; Until — 1 very much at odds with fate — We got into the crowd at Ap ley Gate. There, all as sudden ita had been my d00m. % Salvation, like a sunbeam, pierced my gloom. A lad- no less powerful for good . Than she who sent the Mtntuan to that wood , Where Dante wandered hopelessly a9tr\y. Slept calm and resolute athwart oup way. Not over young was she* nor over slim, But straight, clear eyed, respectable, and trim And at the worst quite 'good enough for hita : Spite of red checks, and fringe, with hat atop That spread its glories like a florist's shop. Her "Hullo Charley l N set his fac» aflame — > I blest my stars l hat Charles was not my name — I didn't stay to think who she might be, Sister or wife, twas all the same to mo $ If wife, I hadn't got to bear the yoke ; And Bores, I take it, wive Mre better folk; Or were she c'en what politicians know As minister without portfolio, She was my guardian Angel j quick aa thought I seized upon my proffered freedom; caught An honest hansom cabman's answering eye; And drove off in a sort of ecstasy. To hear mv little torment vainly holloa, "Hi! Stop!'' Sic me sorvavetat Apollo. — E. H. Pember, in the Cornhifl Mngnainfe