THE GENERAL ELECTION. WHOLESALE BRIBERY.

Evening Post, Volume XLVI, Issue 117, 15 November 1893, Page 4

THE GENERAL ELECTION. WHOLESALE BRIBERY.

In those days, when electioneering Boema to engross the whole time and thought of the community, it is amusing to ai. onlooker to see the number of candidates in tho field, and to watch the endea\ ours of each to catch tho vote of the ladies — God bless 'cm — who havo just received their political birthright. Everyone is confident he can spot the winners, or says he can ; and if one choae he could win enough new hats during the next few weeks to tile him decently for tho rest of his life. " A new hat on Sir Robert for first place, or two to one on a scat," says Smith. " Nonsense, " retaliates Jones; he isn't in the running, I'ell will be first." " Uoll," says Smith, " why, he's simply nowhere. There wont't be a tinkle left in him when the numbers go np. Bell, indeed ! " " Stout, Fisher, and M'Lean," says A. " Stout, Bell, and Dnthie," echoes B. " Our Gurge, Stout, and Froser," yells C, and so on; bnt always Stout! Stout! Stout! (and not GuinneSß's at that). The ladies, they are the key-note this time. Look to your laurelß, ye vintners and victuallers. No Sunday trading will they tolerate ; no, nor the wholesale supply of kerosene or painkiller in tho whisky bottle to poor devils who have already had euoueh. No more shuts for sweaters at a "' Colonial Robert " per dozen for the making. Other publichouses will be closed beside those closed for repairs, or others that don't pay. Tho women, the women, iovjours les femme. They will be great regulators and adjusters of much that is now askew, but we can forgive 'em heartily if they will only let the Eduoation Aot alone, and go in hird and strong (sweet they always will be) for free and compulsory secular education. There's a sweet little cherub sitting up oloft watching over the doatinios of the Waterbnry man, and sometimes, not often, she sends him an inspiration. To mako Waierbury capital out of .politics, to steal an advertisement in season nudout of season, is his business, and, "Brudder, the good work must go on." To presont everybody who votes for A, B, and U with a now Waterbury was his first impulse This was brilliant, but as everybody on the rolls, whether they voted for tbe candidates specified or their opponents, whether they voted at all, had any existence now or at any pro\ ions epoch, whether dead tl.is two yeais, or in gaol or at sea when the voting came off, would claim tbe laward, the experiment would havo bocn cootly, very. Again, hostile lawyers, retained by unsuccessful candidates, and judges who invariably say nasty things, would have relieved him of the profits of the speculation (if any), or porhaps send him to ruminate whero ample time in the intervals of oakum-picking or Btone-breaking is graciously afforded for reflection. No, that would never do. New Zealand is a gambling country, my brother ; as witness its totalisator, i s art unions in aid of charitablo undertakings, and what not. " Eh, there's the rub, Petrucoio." Let us, therefore, in Rome, do as Rome does, and gamble on the coming elections. Tho inspiration, therefore, which came direot from tho sweet littlo chernb aforesaid — not one of tho newly-enfranchised ones, mind you — iB that the Waierbury Watch Company presents one of their new and handsomo watches to the two ladies naming the three Bucoessful candidates for Wellington City with the nearest number of votes recorded in favour of oaah. That is, to the girl or adult lady naming the three successful candidates, and whoso guess at the number of votes recorded by each is nearest tho actual total polled one of their new golden ladies' Waterbury's will be presented, and to tho lady who names the three successful candidates, and whose estimate of votes recorded by each, is second in its approximation to tho actual rcsnlt, one of their new silver watches. Those watches may be selected by the winners from stock held by Meßßrs. Kempthorne, Prosser& Co., of this rity, and to them all letters must be mailed to arrive before noon of the day preceding the eleotion, the envelopes being marked on the ontsido ' ' Waterbnry competition." The names and addresses of the successful guessors will bo published in the Evening Post and New Zealand Times on the day following the declaration of the poll, and the competition is open to all New Zealand.