WIT AND HUMOUR.

Evening Post, Volume XXXIV, Issue 156, 31 December 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

WIT AND HUMOUR.

A man rccontly went on board a ship lying in liui-liour, ;in<l meeting th« cook asked him ii lie was the mate of the veshol. " No, faith ; but I'm the man that cooks the mate," was the reply. Says Mooio in his diary :—Slico: — Slico told me a bon mot, of Hogers's the other day. On somebody remarking that Payne Knight had got very dr-af', " It's from want of practice " sa\s 11. Knight being a veiy liad listener. Archbishop tied to tell the story of a traveller who, Ending himKelf and his dog in a wild counti y, and desolate of provisions, cut off his clog's tail and boiled it for his own supper, giving the dog the bone. There is something veiy Irish about the Germans. They speak of a gentleman as Herr, instead of Him. What in the colour of a field when covered with snow ? White ? No, invisible green. Mr Bob Sawyer has still his successors in the. medical schools, it would seem. The other day an eminent professor, engaged in applying the test of a rive yore examination to ceitain students, said to one of their number, " And now, sir, tell us, please, if you were suddenly called on, by what indication you would at once recognise that you were in fhn presence of a well-nigh hopeless case? 1 ' The student hesitated for a moment, and then replied, " Oh, by the fact that the patient was dead of couise!" One evening when, leaning on the arm of a friend, Rogers was about to walk home from an evening party, a pretentious gentleman made a desperate attempt to fasten on them, aud prefaced the meditated intrusion by saving that he never liked walking alone. "I should have thought, sir," said Rogers, " that no one was ko well satisfied with your company as yourself." Wife, to second husband — " Ah, James, you are so different from my first husband!" Husband — "Yes, no doubt — he died four years ago, and I didn't." It is reported that the hired girls of Detroit have formed a " ring," and demand "three beau nights a week.'