DON'TS FOR WIVES.

Evening Post, Volume XXXI, Issue 69, 24 March 1886, Page 1 (Supplement)

DON'TS FOR WIVES.

Don't disturb your husband while he is reading the morning or evening paper by asking foolish questions. He may be only reading the latest scandal or divorce suit, but he is just as much interested as though it were foreign news or market reports. Be patient, and when he comes across anytMng he tMnks you can comprehend perhaps he may read it to you. Don't communicate unpleasant news or ask a favor before eating. The heart is not easily touched when the stomach is empty. . Don't ever tell a man he is goodlooking. Some other woman will probably some time, and in that case he won't know that her opinion concurs with yours. He carries a pocket hand-glass now, and he will shortly become addicted to Pejamas. Don't ever tell a man he has pretty legs. Men who have been known to bear up under facial compliments fall completely when they* realise their legs are noticeably good. Don't put the morning paper at the bottom of the pile, and don't have more than a dozen different places for the button-hook. Don't impose on your husband just because he is good enough to assist you a little in your housework. Don't leave the stove handle on the red-hot stove, and don't ask Mm to empty the ash tin. Draw a line on the ash tin, and don't run a free horse to death. Don't gather up all Ms receipts and notes that he has put carefully away on the sitting-room table, and tuck them in the fire the minute Ms back is turned. Don't monopolise every hook in the closet. Gracefully tender Mm one nail for Ms very own — and then, in mercy, hang your Mother Hubbard, your pelerine, your shopping bag, and your bonnet in some other place. Don't be inexplicit in giving directions. When you ask him to go upstairs for your Portemonnaie, tell him that it is either on the table, or in the further corner of the lefthand side of the upper bureau drawer, or in the pocket of your brown dress in the closet. He will have no trouble in finding it — if you can tell him just where it is, especially the pocket. Don't ask him where he has been the moment ha enters the house, or where he is going if he starts out for a walk before breakfast. It nettles him, and men hate to have such pointed questions sprung upon them. Besides that, we live under a free flag. Don't ask Mm to walk the floor with the baby half the night. A man who tramps industriously around a billiard table tM-ee nights in the week, or buys an admission ticket to the opera, can't be expected to be on duty at home the other three nights. Have mercy on Mm, and give the man an opportunity to recuperate. Don't waste your breath in useless vituperation against Ms favourite chum. Cultivate the chum yourself — ostensibly — when your husband is not around, and matters will assume a different aspect. Don't put pins in your curl papers or let your crimping pins dangle on your forehead. They are abominations and feminine implements of warfare that men despise. Don't leave hair in the comb or your neck curls where they will 6tick to Ms hair-brush. Don't put a long hair on the cup or in Ms tooth-brush purposely. Don't mend Ms hosiery with cotton having knots in it larger than a pea.

Don't scold himbecauses he leaves ashes in Ms pipe. One of the principles of a married man is to leave an old pipe full of ashes in just the position to empty the contents on the window sill or the mantelpiece the moment it is touched. Don't indulge in flights of temper when your husband suggests how his mother did. If he objects to having eggs boiled in the tea-kettle, and prefers them washed previous to cooking, endeavour to please him by indulging Mm in Ms fancies. In the meantime bring your sons up as carefully as you can, and when they are married you yourself will doubtless be held up as an example of virtue — and revenge is sweet. Don't be too prodigal in the use of kindling wood. There is no fruit of his toil that man guards as jealously as he does his kindling wood. He would fain put it whore tMeves break not through and steal. So, just because you have free access to it, don't burn up enough to last a week in one day.