A WOMAN'S POCKET.

Evening Post, Volume XVII, Issue 311, 4 January 1879, Page 1 (Supplement)

A WOMAN'S POCKET.

+ (Danbury News.) The most difficult thing is to reach a woman's pocket. This is especially the case if the dress is hung up in a closet, and the man is in a hurry. We think we are safe in saying that he always is in a hurry on such an occasion. The owner of the dress ia in the sitting-room serenly engrossed in a book. Having told him that the article which he is in quest of is in her drezfc pocket in the closet, Bhe discharges her whole duty in the matter, and can afford to feel serene. He goes at the task with a dim consciousness that he has been there before, but says nothing. On opening tho closet door and finding himself confronted with a number of dresses, all turned inside out, and presenting a most formidable front, he hastens back to ask "Which dress?" and being told the brown one, and also asked if she had so many dresses that there need be any great effort to find the right one, he returns to the closet with alacrity, and soon has his hands on the brown dresa. It is inside out, like the rest — a fact he dees not notice, however, until he has made several ineffectual attempts to get hia hand into it. Then he turns several times around very carefully, and passes over the pocket several times without being aware of it. A nervous ' movement of his hands, and an appearance of perspiration on his forehead are perceptible. He now divea one hand in at the back, and feeling around, finds a place, and begins to explore it, when he finds he is following up the inside lining. The nervousness increases, also the perspiration. He twitches the dress on the hook, and suddenly the pocket, white, plump, and exasperating, cornea to view. Then he sighs the relief he feels, and i"3 mentally grateful he did not allow himself to use any offensive expressions. It is all right

now. There is the pocket in plain viewnot the inside, but the outside— and all he has to do is to put his hand around to the other aide; He does not feel the opening. He pufehea a little further— now he bes it — he shoves the hand down, and is very much surprised to see it appear opposite his kseeß. He has made a mistake. He tries again ; again he feela the entrance and glides down it only to appear again as aa before. This makes him open hia eyes and straighten his face. He feels at the outside of the pocket, pinches it curiously, lifts it up, nhakea it, and after peering closely about the roots of it, he sayß, "By gracious 1" and commences again. He does it calmly this time, because hurrying only makes the matter worse. He holds up breadth after breadth, goes over them carefully, gets hia hand first into a lining, then into the air again (whero it always surprised him When it appears), nnd finally into a pocket, and is about to cry out with triumph when he discovers it is the pocket of another dress. He ia mad now ; the closet air almost stiflos him ; he is bo nervous he can hardly contain himaelf, and the pocket looks at him so exasperatingly that he cannot help but " plug " it with his clenched fist, and immediately does it. Being somewhat relieved by this performance, he has a chance to look about him, and sees that' he has put his foot through a band-box and into the crown of his wife's bonnet ; has broken the brim to hi? Panama hat which waa hanging in the same cloaet, and torn a yard of bugle trimming from a new cloak. As ail this trouble ia due to hia wife's in* fatuation in hanging up her drosses insido out, he immediately starts after Wjr, and, impetuously urging her to the cloaet, excitedly and almost profanely intimates his doubts of there being a pocket in the dress, any way. The cause of the unhappy disaster quietly inserts her hand inside the robe, and direotly brings it forth with the sought-for article in its clasp. He doesn't know why, but this makes him madder than anything else.