VARIETIES.

Evening Post, Volume XVI, Issue 284, 30 November 1878, Page 1 (Supplement)

VARIETIES.

Why was Eve not afraid of the measles ! ' — Because she'd Adam. There is no humble-bee but can bs dts« ; tinguished when you sit down on him. : Mr. Noggs, speaking of a blind wood- ' sawyer, says, " While none ever saw him *- see, thousands have seen him saw." i My first is everything ; my aecond more I than everything ; and my whole -ia not , quite as much? — All-most. *, ' j There is no * peace for the bald-headed ; > juat as sha r p winds are going out flies are coining in. We met a lidy the other day who had forty-eight feet of daughters. Eight.of '«m, and all six feet. '- , \ An old maid, being at a loss of ¦ a.-pin-cushion, made use of an onion. On the following morning she found that all the} needles had tears in their eyes. laj J "What are the chief ends of jjnAnfj asked a Sunday school teacher of *pne oft his pupils, "Head and feet" wjfej the prompt reply. The teacher fainted.^ "Teddy, my boy, jist guess how many cheese there ia in this here bag, an' faith I'll give ye the whole live." •• Five^'s said] Teddy. "Arrah! by my a'owl, bad'Juck* to the man that told ye \" . ! "You must cultivate decision of cha-j racter and learn to say ' No,' said a" father! to his son. Soon afterwards when thei father said to the son, " Chop wood;? the! boy said "No," with an emphasif that* showed a remembrance of the lesson." " Do you call these clothes ?" said sternly' a British customs official to a woman who; had sworn that there was nothing in hertrunk but clothes for herself and husband/ and as he spoke pointed to six bottles of brandy. " Yes, said she sofltly, "thoao are his nightcaps." r