INGENIOUS RUSES.

Evening Post, Volume XVI, Issue 284, 30 November 1878, Page 1 (Supplement)

INGENIOUS RUSES.

The " famous civilian " Dr. Dale, sent to Flanders by Queen Elizabeth on State business, finding his funds getting lower than he liked, adopted a shrewd plan of obtaining aid from his royal mistress without asking for it. "With his despatches to the Secretary of State he forwarded two letters, one for the Queen ' ' To my dear wife ; " and that for his Kate, "To Hey Most Excellent Majesty." When Queen Bess opened her agent's epistles she was astonished at finding herself sweethearted, my-loved, and my deared ; and made acquainted with the state of his health and the emptiness of his purse ; and was so heartily amused at the doctor's mistake that she unloosed her purse-strings and relieved his necessity with Junwonted liberality. If Dale was as astute in dealing with foreign, princes as he was in managing his own liege lady, ifc is not to be wondered at that he was employed in diplomatic matters. When it was first proposed to send him to Flanders, the queen informed him that she should allow him 203 a day for hip expenses. He did not think it enough, but, keeping his thoughts to himself, replied that in that case he should spend 19s a dfiy. Elizabeth inquired what he would do with the other shilling. " That," said the doctor, " I shall keep for my Kate and my boys Tom and Dick." Her Majesty took the hint, and enlarged her negotiator's allowance. An equal but better deserved success rewarded the ingenious device of a physician having to deal with a very obstinate patient, whose weak point, or strong point, was his implacable Toryism. The patient was a west of England bishop. He had been very ill, and to expedite recovery his physician prescribed small doses of brandy, to be taken at regular intervals. Now, the prelate hated brandy, and declared he would have none of it. In vain did the physician insist upon the duty he owed to his diocese, his wife, and his family ; and when he suggested that his lordship had better make arrangements for his departure from this world, as without brandy he must die, the bishop calmly answered that he was prepared to die, but he would not touch the brandy. Walking up to the head of the bed, the doctor bent over the refraotory man and whispered in his ear " Need I remind you that Russell is in hia office, and a Whig will be your successor to the bishopric!" "Fetch the brandy, doctor !" cried the bishop, " I'll drink a quart if necessary !" The ruse succeeded.