THE FUN OF A TRIP FROM AUCKLAND TO WELLINGTON.

Evening Post, Volume XV, Issue 181, 4 August 1877, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE FUN OF A TRIP FROM AUCKLAND TO WELLINGTON.

We fancy we can recognise " the fine round hand " of a brother journalist from the North in the following article which appears in the New Zealand Herald. In this instance we think that our friend has made a " Lucky " hit : — " Humdrum is the one word which, as a rule, best describes the social circle on board a steamer which conveys a large contingent of the members. The incursion of the mal de mer so frequently prostrates the digestive powers of the legislators unused to marine excursions that generally a similar physical and intellectual prostration ensues. Very different was it in the trip of the Hawea ; the weather was charming, the sea smooth, and the enjoyment on board was general, there being no sickness, and scarcely any one was absent from the table. True, a few grumbled at the mode of conveyance resorted to. Vows loud and deep were heard from members who are disgusted with the refusal of the Government to employ their two steamers, and at this time of pretended economy to incur charges for conveyance by special steamers from Auckland, Nelson, and Picton, when the work might most effectually have been managed by the two Government steamers, one of which is now laid up at the very nick of time when, if ever, she would have been of puMie service. Barring such little samples of political grumbling, the trip was pleasant in every way, and peculiarly diversified. There was among the passengers, in the person of a Mr. Norman, a commercial traveller, a practical student of Shakespeare ; and in the evenings this gentleman gave two admirable recitals from Hamlet — going through the first two acts and part of the third — with a taste, knowledge of the subject, and a wonderful letter-perfectness which I never saw equalled.

There was also one not unknown to fame of some kind — Mr. Walker, the medium. He, too, on being pressed for some contribution to the amusement, borrowed the white hat of the member for the Bay, which was much too large for him, and after making some extraordinary grimaces and facial contortions, proceeded to imitate a German trying to sing the verses, " Mary had a little lamb," &c. The performance lasted only ninety seconds, and was even less successful than the trance business. He said that such funny attempts had got him into trouble among some people in Auckland. If this trouble was owing to the want of success in the impersonation, the circumstance is not remarkable. Captain Wheeler told the queerest of his many stories, some of which ought to be saved from oblivion. That about the man at the wheel is admirable. One day the Hawea was Bteaming out of Akaroa, the entrance to which is narrow in parts, and the captain was with some of the passengers in the smoking-room. Suddenly at the door appeared a passenger, who is, or was, a respectable lawyer in Akaroa, and in an excited voice asked for some one to come to the wheel, and immediately ran off again. This he repeated about a dozen times, tapping at a window, and giving an inarticulate expression of fear, accompanied by an objurgation that the ship would be on the rooks, as no one was at the wheel, and it was most disgraceful. Off he would dart again, and whirl the wheel half round to starboard or port " and steady " again, working the ship out of the port and oat of danger both, as he believed. At last, enters to the captain Paddy Bonfield, then third mate, and not quite unknown in Auckland. "If you please, sir," said Paddy, "here's a fool of a passenger will keep meddling with the wheel, and," he added, with a twinkle in his eye, "interfering with the navigation of the ship." " Oh, it's all right," said the master, "if it pleases him it don't hurt the ship." Then a brief colloquy was heard outside. Paddy : " What the are you doing, meddling with that wheel ?" Volunteer Steersman: "Meddling? Why, this is the most disgracefully-managed ship I ever saw ; not a soul at the wheel, and " (here he gave another rapid turn to port) "the ship and passengers in danger of running .on the rocks every monent ! Steady!" Paddy: " Why, you infernal fool, that wheel don't work ; the rudder is worked from the bridge; that one only goes round and round, and does not move the rudder when the other is at work. Clear out !" And it was so ; for threequarters of an hour this generous volunteer had been spinning round the stern wheel with no more effect than if he had been spinning a teetotum. Hereupon the lawyer-turned-seaman made his appearance at the door, hat in hand, and the perspiration streaming from his face, the result of his own shamefacedness. Since then he never {hears the word "port" or "starboard" without remembrance of his own astonishing trick at the wheel. Everybody knows Mr. Nancarrow, the inspector of marine steam boilers and machinery ; but everybody does not know that while he was in Auckland he aat beside a stranger in a concert room, walked back to the same hotel where both had been staying for some days, and between whom this conversation took place : — Stranger : "I have just arrived from Australia, and am going to Wellington to see a brother I have not seen for many years." Mr. Nancarrow: "I'm going down to Wellington by next boat ; we can go together." Stranger : " I suppose Wellington is not a large town ? I shall have no difficulty in finding by brother ?" Mr. Nancarrow t " What is your brother's name ?" Stranger : " He's in the Government service; his name's Nancarrow." Mr. Nancarrow : " I'm the man 1" And he was ; — they had not met for four and twenty years.