ODDS AND ENDS.

Evening Post, Volume XIII, Issue 78, 1 April 1876, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

There have been a good many fires lately. Do, girls, be careful about your sparks !— New Bedford Mercury. -• A Belgraviaa .Mother. —^Ethalinda : "Mother, is notit^wicked to say/*you I be blowed,' as Algy does?" Mother;: '{Its worse than' wicked, my dear; it's'Vulgari" Some young men in Louisville haying formed an anti-lift-your-hat-to-a-woman society, the young ladies of the Western city propose forming*- an anti-bow-to-a-puppy club. | Keeping Her Hand in. — Elder Sister : ! " Don't be so lackadaisical, Kate; it's no* good moping about one who don't care for you !" Kate : " Why not ? At all events 7 , it won't hurt till I find one who does."— ** Fun. ¦ - , . ; t . Shoddy. — Wool - recovered from rags ' i»now employed to' such an extent that in addition to the home supply, from fiftyfive to sixty millions of pounds of foreign woollen rags are now annually imported to be, re-manufactured. — Art JournalsInteresting to N^phews..^-Yoj£ng*Pred. Harduppe, speaking of his family and friends, says that he has one relative who is a regular " jewel " to raise money when it is wanted. This is his garb uncle, which, under ordinary circumstances, he wears on his finger. Words and Weights. — Angler : "Deuced . odd, Donald, I can't get a fish over seven' pounds, when they say Major Grant above us killed half a dozen last week that turned twenty pounds a-piece !" Donald : "Aweel sir; it's no that muckle odds i' th' sawmon, but thae fowk up the water is bigger lears than we are doon here.!" " Mr. Busbee says you needn't send the paper to him any more," said a little urchin who stuck his head into the sanctum. " All right." "An' he said to tell you he wouldn't a stopped it only you didn't Bay nothin' about the big hog he killed last week," continued the youth; and then he- slid down the banisfffef'lnijo the street. — Fulton Times. \ ' ¦ v " . "Waiting for the Verdict"—TheJOerman nurse : "Isit a Cherman. or an -English papy?" The Mamma: "Well, I don't know. You see she was born in England, but my husband is German." The German Nurse : " Ach, Soh ! zen ye vill vait to see vat lenkvetch she vill schbeak, and zen ye vill know !" Color is thus given- to the department of " Graphicalities " in the Graphic: The literary color, read ; the newsboy's color, yellor • the undertaker's color, done ; the color of a hurricane, blue ; the apothecary's color, vial- it; Britannia's color, sea-rule* I-on ; the agricultural color, reddish ; Albert Edward's color, India-go ; the color of a Slavonic dinner, B,uss-et." An Ohio man visiting his friends in Detroit not long since, and being invited to accompany the family to church, disappeared from the house about nine o'clock, and did not return for an hour. To excuse his absence he exclaimed: "I wanted to be prepared when they came around with the contribution box, and I've walked more'n a mile to get" a nickel changed^ 1" A clever old lady, just arrivedjfrom |he country, entered the refreshment-room- at a railroad' station, the other day, and said she had left her parasol on the seat. A general search commenced, and lasted for some time. Finally one of the waiters asked the old dame when she left it, to which she answered, on counting upon her fingers: " Well it was three-yearsagT) last"" 4th of August." There was a general roar, much to the astonishment of the old lady, who went away witH "a very puzzled* look upon her countenance. J£ 1| Piety. — At a meeting of Pnmftive Methodists held at Shotley Bridge, the preacher, after descanting for some time on the superiority of the brute creation over man on the score of gratitude, clenched his argument with the following illustration :—": — " If you look to the hens, they never so much as take a drink of water without raising their bills v to heaven, in token of gratitude I" And then he added} "Oh that we were all hens!" To "which 1 one of the congregation loudly responded, "Amen I" — Newcastle Chronicle, f ,t;, t; ; Call for Cash.,—" We" lately met an. old negro trudging along," says an American writer, "with a- heavy side of. baoon that' he had bought swinging over his shoulder. We -noticed that he was miserably chid, and- we felt sorry for him, for a cold wind was blowing. We remonstrated with him. . ' Why do you spend your money for meat ? You'd better biiy a coat.' The old man stopped, looked us full in the face for a few moments, and said,- in the most solemn tones, "Massa, when I- : ax my back* 'for credit, it gibs it; when I speak to dis (laying his hand upon his stomach), 'it calls for de cash.' " Didn't Come Off. — A few days ago a Detroit widower, who was engaged to a Detroit widow, each having two or three children, and both being well off, determined to teat her love for him, and at the same time discover if she was actuated by mercenary motives, as some of his friends had asserted. He called upon her at the usual evening hour, and after a while remarked: — "My dear, you know I have two children, and to-day I had my life in« surance policy for 25,000 dol. changed "to their sole benefit in case of my death." "You did wite right, my darling," she promptly, replied, " I have three .children,', as you are aware. As soon as we were engaged J had every dollar's worth of -my property so secured that they alone "ban have the benefit of it." He looked. She looked. The marriage didn't come off at the time Bet last week, and it may never occurs— Detroit Free Press.

Horafie Vernet Washing from Versailles to Paris by railway. In the same compartment with him were two ladies whom he had never seen before, but who t were evidently frcqu*u)tcd t with Aim. tfthey examined him minutely, and commented freely upon his martial bearing, his hale loli^iJgSj, tjhe style of his dress, &c. They continued' their annoyance until finally the painter determined to put an end to the persecution. As the^train passed.thrQus'h thtf ttiimel <Jmi*^udStnflr*trSveV lers were wrapped in complete darkness. Vernet i^e^fithtfobacKlo&flis hand to his mouth and r kjs. se<jL ,ifr twice On emerging from" the'oDscurilby he found that the ladies had .'withdrawn their attention from him and ?were= accusing each other of having been ; kis|ed,by a man in the dark. Presently they arrived in Paris, and Vernefc, brf leaving them* feaid : " Ladies, I shall be pu^ed^.mvjife by the inquiry, which of those two ladies was it that kissed me."" 11 •' • - '•¦ ;l '•' '• I/- •¦: ¦¦ „ •, ..I. 1 .i .