THE VAINER SEX.

Dunstan Times, Issue 3128, 31 July 1922, Page 7

THE VAINER SEX.

(By a Man.) Is woman vainer than man? 1 used to think that she was. I would tell myself of the hours that she spent in front of her mirror, arranging her hair, smoothing and powdering her face, dressing herself in those fine clothes of hors which had taken her such a long time to choose. I would think of all those other hours kli.j I>'wl irnotn/1 ’ into uliflp windows (and, incidentally, getting in my way), seeing herself in this or that hat. wondering how best to “make up” this or that piece of stuff —in a word, for ever attempting her own beautification. But now I am by no means so certain. I may lie drawing too general a conclusion from particular cases, hut of late I have been amusing myself by examining my own sex at close quarters, and have discovered how vain ho can be. Watch him in his dressing-room, and what do you seeP Hair has to ho oiled and brushed to just the right “feel.” no matter how large the bald patches may he. Moustache must be trimmed, if it is not being curled. Skin, after shaving, has to be carefully tended, not seldom with the sofeminino powder! And the clothes are put on with infinite care. The tie must fall from tho collar in just such a way, and if a trouser crease he a tenth of an inch to one side/Jiere is the de_yil to pay. Out of ' irs, too. the hat must incline at jus. that infinitesimal angle from the perpendicular which marks the smart man of tq-day. And have you ever noticed a. welldressed man lose an opportunity of looking at hims«lf in a mirror? It has been hinted before now that not all ladies appear in their own hair. But men wear toupcs or wigs just as often, and I remember a little man, well known in society, who foolishly believed that his wigs were never recognised for what they were. I write wigs in tlie plural, for vanity suggested to him a means of camouflage which, I expect, lias not yet been widely adopted. At his club he would suddenly feel his hair, and announce that he must have it cut at once. The next day he would appear in a close-cropped wig. Ten days later or so, ho would feel it again, and lament the speed at which the human hair grew, after which a second wig with slightly longer hair would he worn for a fortnight. The third wig would then take its place, and the whole process repeated. Poor little man ! And yet ifi he so different from many of his fellows? Most men wish to make the _ beet cf themselves; all men take infinite pains w hcn tliov are about to meet the one woman who matters. They have evolved all the tricks which some of us still choose to think are peculiar to women. Have I proved my point? Perhaps not. Perhaps it is not possible to do so in just a few lines. Yet it is well to remember that science has something to say on the matter. Evolution may he taken to-day as proved'lieyond question. and what does one find in the animal kingdom? It is never the female who bedecks herself in tlie gaudiest colors. It is never the female who tries to attract by a bright display. Quite the reverse, in fact. It is always! tlie male who struts forth in his glory, making the most of his points, hoping for feminine notice. The vainest of creatures! It is tho peacock who owns that fine tail, not the pea-hen. And if human pea-hens are not too dial) in their dress, human peacocks arc not too rare oven in those days, when they may no longer walk the streets in satins and silks and diamond stare.