SHE WEARIED HIM.

Dunstan Times, Issue 2488, 5 July 1909, Page 3

SHE WEARIED HIM.

And There Wai Another Little Boy On* of a Job. The grocer’s new boy threw his delivery basket down in the corner with an injured air and remarked that the woman who had just rawed into S7, around the corner, was a regular crank. “How do you mean?” asked the grocer. “First thing she asked me,” said the boy, “was whether we had any nice fresh eggs. They must be very, very fresh, she said, because she wanted ’em to put in cake. “I told her eggs was doubtful this hot weather, but we had some very, very fresh eggplants, and how would they do? “She said they wouldn’t do at all, and then she asked me if we bad any corn that was as green as I was and the ears as well developed as mine. “I said ‘Yes’m.’ “ ‘Well,’ she says, T want some for dinner, so bring half a dozen as soon as you can.’ “ ‘As soon as we can?’ says x. ‘Do yor want it canned?’ “She said she did not want it canned. Then she began to ask about watermelons, Did we have some that was ripe? I told her ‘Yes’m.’ “Was they on ice? “No’m, they was on the sidewalk. “Would we put half of one on ice and bring it around at 6 o’clock? “We would. “Would we have the seeds taken out? “With pleasure. “All right. Did we keep vichy water in siphons? “Yes’ra. “Was that on ice? “No. But I told her we’d put half a siphon on ice and bring it around at 6 o’clock with the bubbles taken out if she’d say the word. “Then she said she guessed everything we had around here was nice and fresh, but there was such a thing as being too fresh, and she believed she’d try the other store, so I needn’t bother. Yes, sir, that woman’s a crank.” “Eddie,” said the grocery man as he slowly rolled the white paper around a pound of cheese, “my nephew will be here next week from Germany and I am going to give him your job. Meanwhile I’ll try to get along without any little boy.” “You’ll have to,” said Eddie, “’cause I’m goin to leave.”—Detroit Free Press.

A Difference In Price. One morning an unusually fine display qf furs in one of the windows of a prominent furrier downtown attracted many an admiring glance from passers by. Two stout colored women paused to admire the display. "There," said the larger of the two, “am de very coat for me. I tell you dat’s s beauty," and she pointed to a handsome wrap marked, “Just reduced to $250." . “Let’s go in an look at ’em.” Her friend followed her into the store. The proprietor, Mr. L., was in the frout part of the store and went forward with his best smile. “Ladies, what can I do for yen this morning?" “We wants to see dem coats like what’s In do winder," was the response. "If you will walk back in the store I will show you our entire line. What price coat did you want?” “ ’Bout do same as dat one is,” pointing to the one in the window. They walked back to the coat department and Mr. L. took down coat after coat with untiring zeal. At length one was found that just suited the would be purchaser. “I guess I’ll take dis ef you’s sure it am de style and will wear, ’cause de price certainly am reasonable," she declared. "Shall I send it for you.” asked Mr. L. “No, I’ll jes’ pay you and take it along," she said as she drew from her pocket and deposited on the counter two one dollar bills, one quarter, two tens and a five. “Why," said Mr. L. in consternation, as he looked at the money; "this is only $2.50!" “Well, ain’t dis coat de same price as dat one in de winder?" “Yes, but that in the window is worth $250." “What! Two hundred and fifty dollars for one coat! I never heard of such a thing!” she indignantly exclaimed, tossing the precious bundle on the counter. “He must’a’thought I was a Vanderbilt,” were her last words as she slammed the door behind her. Mr. L, rehung thes2so coats.—New York Recorder.

An Extra T. Major Johnston is very particular about the spelling of his name. He is a very proud man on general principles. Nothing exasperates him more than to be mixed up typographically or otherwise with the common herd of Johnsons without a "t.” He was about leaving a hotel in Dallas. He had asked for his bill, and when it w;js banded him by the clerk he scowled fiercely. “Is there any mistake in the bill?” asked the clerk. "There is, sir. You have spelled my name without the ‘t.’ ” “Ah, I see,” replied the clerk. “You should be charged with an extra tea. Fifty cents more, if you please.”—Texas Siftings. A Minor Omission. “Clara, I'm engaged to be married already, and I’ve only been here two days.” "You sweet thing! Who is the happy roan?” “Dear me, how unfortunate! He forgot to give me his card,”—Chicago New* Record, The M ings of Love. Cass Avenue Lady—What is the matter Bridget? Why are you going to leave? Bridget—Sure, ma’am, our policemnß has been appointed to another district.-* Detroit Free Press. A First Class Reason.

|| e —Won’t yon let me have a kiss, novr that I am going away for n day? She—lf you ran give any good reason (r!iy I should I might think about It—pewribly. , 4 lie- T should like to establish a precedent "Life,