Page 3 Advertisements Column 3

Dunstan Times, Issue 2480, 10 May 1909, Page 3

THE SAFE SIDE. J "Look-a-here," said a grandfatherkh* ooking man who was inspecting the contents )f a toyshop. “ I want to have a fair understanding before J buy.” .' "Well?" 4 i " I’m a-going to buy my grandson a •ooden mule with a bell on it—one of them j ■hilling ones. He’s crazy for a mule.” j •' Yes.” j " Suppose he has broken a leg off?" 1 " Then we couldn't take it." '■Must be in good repair, eh ?" "Yes.” " Suppose I bring the mule back and git i goat and he goes back on that ? Don't ;ay he will, you know, but you can never : iepend on a ooy." I " I—l couldn’t promise to change.” “ Wouldn’t change it for atin rooster or a .vooden rhinoceros, providing none #f the ,vool was pulled off ?' " I hardly think so. ’ " Well, that’s for you to say, and I think won’t take no chances I’ll buy him some jil'foc, and after it’s devoured he can’t holler or me to change it. All he can do is to veil for flags er peanuts, and if his mother lon't lick him for it I will! Good-bye " HE WAS IN A BOX. A roucEMAN walked up to a young man ■ horn he had observed hurrying to and fro i a feverish way for an hour or more, and • iid:— "My friend, what is the trouble? Is ierc anything I can do for you ?” "Do "for me? Je-rooslu'm! No! Not ' r.ilcss you can bring back that 8.33 train, 'll bet a thousand dollars it left ahead of hue." 1 " Can't you go on another train ?” " Certainly. That's what I’m waiting ! • r or. But it doesn’t leave until 3.30 this afternoon, and won't get to where I'm going till about midnight, and that won’t do at " If it's anything important, can’t you send a telegram” ? " Send a telegram ? I’ve sent half-a-dozen already. The fact is lamon my way to a wedding to take place at 8 o'clock this evening. I've got some presents for the bride." , "Well," said the policeman, "the case '.-.n’t bo bad. You can deliver the presents ihe nevt morning. The wedding will be over, of course, but—" " Wedding over ? Jumpin’ Jupiter I It 1 A’on't be over. That's the trouble." i "Why not?" ! " Because it can’t come off unless I'm on • hand. I've got to be there. I’m the man , that’s going to be married. Policeman, you | mean well, but you can't pour any of the oil af joy into this wounded bosom, I'll feel obliged if you'll go away somwhere and sit down." I I ip a girl knows she is pretty it is not bemuse any other girl told her so. All S T [I A L I A N 1 L LIANG K! SSURANOB COMPANY 1 Capital Lunds ... £450,000. The WEALTHIEST and PREMIER Australian Company. I Local Agent:— Mr H. E; Stevens. All Risks aceepted at Lowest Rates, i Losses settled Promptly. A. J. SULLIVAN, Chief Agent for Otago. , | E. W. ATTFIELD, Batcher, Waikerikeri Valley, Clyde, j HAS Pleasure in intimating to j the public that o Clyde that I his carts will make regular visits— j on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, when only the primest meat j will be ofiered for sale. j ! ; BEEF, MUTTON, LAMB, Etc. A TRIAL SOLICITED. <?«. W MtEicSiSfiit© BOOTMAKER, CLYDE. Boots and Shoes mads to measure, KIT GUARANTEED. Repairs Neatly Executed. All work will be on STRICTLY,CASH LINES Prices Moderate, Ernest JTaylor, I BAKER & CONFECTIONER | Sunderland Street, Clyde, 1 Has pleasure in intimating to the I public of Clyde and district that he has commenced business as a Baker and Confectioner, in newly erseted premises adjoining B. Naylor and ' Son’s, Clyde. all goods a specialty A TRIAL SOLICITED., / to Mothers ; —Are you broken r~st by a sick child ‘-uttering with of cutting teeth ? Go at once tc t and get a bottle 0 Mrs WinOOTHING Sythjp- It wil ! relieve sufferer immediately. It is per* rmless ani pleasant tc' taste. It natural quiet sleep by relieving [ from pain, and the little cherub as bright ae u ”itton. H the child, it flattens the gums I ptun.re'ieuJß wind, regulates the and is the best known remedy for and diarrbma, whether arising thing or other causae. Mrs Win* "(Hug Byrajp hy Vriteta mynWfr*