Untitled

Dunstan Times, Issue 762, 24 November 1876, Page 3

‘Can you collect’this account for me?’ ‘ Well, Squire,’ said he, ‘ ’taint much use o’ trying, 1 guess ! I know that critter! You might as well try to squeeze ile out of Bunker Hill monument as to c’lect a debt out of him ! But anyhow, Squire, what’ll you give s’posin’ Ido try?’ ‘Well, sir, the debt is 100 dols. I’ll give you—yes, I’ll give you half it you collect it ?’ ‘ Greed !’ replied the collector ; * there’s no harm in tryin’.’ Some weeks after the creditor chanced to be in Boston, and in walking up Trcmont Street, encountered bis enterprising friend. ‘ Look o’ here ;’ said he, ‘ Squire ! I had considerable luck wit that bill 6’ your’n ! You see, I stuck to him like a dog to a root, but for the first wcelf or so ’twasn’t no use—not a bit! It he was at homo he was ’ short’; it he wasn’t h6mo I couldn’t getho satisfaction’; ‘ By-and-by,’ says I after goin’ Sixteen times, ‘ I’ll fix you !’ says 1. So I sat down on the doorstep, and sat till day and part of the evening, and 1 begun early nfcxt day ; but about fch o’clock ho ‘ g’in it!’ He paid me my half, and I g’in him up the note !’ Tho fence ot a graveyard in Pennsylvania bears an inscription in large letters, “ Use Jones’s bottled ale if you would keep out of here.”