SCISSORS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4081, 20 August 1884, Page 4

SCISSORS.

Moelorn prison faro.—RaAVcat. A hard thing to pitch.—A good yarn. The belle of the Civil Service. —3lismanagement. Tho best connoisseur of a broth of a boy.— A cannibal. Service is president of the Melbourne Caledonian Society. The Dean of Bangor, avlio suicided lately, Avas a great advocate of strong' tea. Victorian bookmakers paid tho V.R.C. £3204 last year for registration fees. An English scientist says one man in a million reaches tho ago of a hundred years. Tho motto of a contemporary is "measures not men."—Pints, avc suppose, and in a poAvtcr. As a proof of the luxury of modern railroad travel iv America, it is said that almost ovcry railroad man of importance has a private car of his own. Hans Bulow is reported tohave introeluccel a new feature in his concerts. In the adagio of Beethoven's ninth symphony ho lias tbe Hall darkened arid frankincense burned. Tho New York Herald, Avhich is at the back of the neAV Atlantic cable, promises a threepenny rate for press messages, of which, hoAvcvcr, full-paid cablegrams Avill take precedence. The Government of Archangel has lately been thrown into a condition verging upon anarchy by the lawless proceedings of the oxiles avlio are undergoing terms of banishment in tho proA'inco.

The sum of 1,000,000 elrachmns has been sent by a Greek firm in London to 31. Tricoupis at Athens, to be employeel for the public benefit. 31. Tricoupis proposes to devote tho amount to tho erection of a penitentiary, there being up to tho present no such institution in Greece.

Lady Brassey lias sent a collection of lace anel fans to the Wolverhampton anel Staffordshire Industrial Fine Arts Exhibition, the object of which is to provide Avorks of art for a handsome gallery just presented to the town of Wolverhampton, by an anonymous donor, at a cost of £5000.

An actor Avho has played in nearly every English-speaking toAvn on tho face of the globe was in tho Gaiety Theatre, Sydney, on a recent Saturday night. He says he must givo the Sydney larrikins the palm for being - tho rowdiest, ho ever heard, and the most accomplished as regards "cat-calls," " howls," anel general versatility in tho art of being objectionable.

The very latest fad formulated for fantastic femininity is a muff so coi.structcel as to liolel hot Avatcr. If an impulsive young - irutn .<hoxilcT niHlily n, pretty hand in one of these muffs he will probably find himself in hot water. This reminds \i>, however, that many a young fellow" lias got, into hot water through squeezing a girl's hanel long' before this muff was even thought of.

Tho Rev. William Gaskell elieel at his resielenco in Manchester on .lime 11th, in his 80th year. He was the husband of tho Avell-knoAvn novelist, Mrs Gaskell, and will be interred by her side in tho yard of the Unitarian Chapel, Knutsford. _3lr Gaskell was for many years the minister of the Cross-street Chapel, Manchester. The late H. J. Byron, the playright, had a horror of funerals, but Avas once prevailed upon to attend that of a felloAV-Bohemian. After waiting long at the cemetery en-

trance, he anel his companions followed a funeral in tho chapel, and when the services Avcro half over discovered that it was that of a stranger. Their friend's funeral had not come yet. "Ah," said Byron, "just like poor Bill; never in time !'' Speaking at the Royal General Theatrical Fund dinner in London, Henry Irving characterised as erroneous the recent assertions that though gentlemen of education arc eager to enter tho dramatic profession

gentlewomen arc not numbered among their recruits. There is, ho added, a perfect multitude of gentlewomen eager to enter the profession ; but, as a rule, they are debarred by only one disadvantage, which is— inability to act. Here is an example of tho conscientious study Avhich the best, Parisian actors giv-elo parts ill the most extravagant Palais Royal farces. Daubray, Avho takes tho role of a butcher in tho new piece, "Le Train do Plash;," has boon in the habit for the last foAV Avceks of rising early anel paying a visit to his butcher to learn practically tho Avay to " cut up " anel " dress " meat. There arc several private piscicultural establishments in Russia Proper, Avhile in Finland, Avhere the art seems to havo attained a high state of perfection generally, there are no fewer than ten, breeding chiefly salmon and trout. In all these factories tho dry system is the most popular. But, in addition to epicurean fishes, many places "go in" for producing carp, bream, roach, and other ordinary fishes fen- general consumption. A magnificent granite monument now graces the Duthie Park, Aberdeen, and commemorates tho gallant Gordon Highlanders who fell in the Egyptian campaign of ISB2. The monument takes the form of a Scottish cross, fifteen feet high, and stanels on a granite pedestal at an elevation of about seven feet. The medallion, Avhich rests upon a St. AndrcAv's cross, and is encircled by a wreath of Scottish thistles, contains the words "Gordon Highlanders," "Egypt," and "India," in the centre being a sphinx anel a tiger. On a scroll immediately under the medallion is the motto "Bydaud." Tho cross, of course, contains an appropriate inscription, Avith the names of the fallen appended.

Tho era of "bulls" is not yet past. Within one Aveek, quite recently, four ferocious ones wore let loose in the House of Commons. Sir Patrick O'Brien led off with: " I hear a twinkle in that corner," and five hundred members rewarded him Avith a roar. Next, a Mr Brodcrick denounced the Franchise Bill as " a leap in the dark, to Avhie-h the- former was but a flea-bite." Lord George Hamilton, insisting that Sir 31. Hicks-Beach had personally satisfied him about somo subject, said Sir Michael was " standi tig on his own bottom," an anatomical feat the mere mention of Avhich sent the House into convulsions. Mr Gladstone himself Avas the fourth performer, as he told a prominent opponent that "there Avas no uso in his attempting to shako his head in the teeth of his own eleclarations."

It is related that a trooper fastened his horse to ono of the lamp-posts in front of our new Law Courts the other day, anel that a tug by the animal brought about a downfall of the Avhole concern. Tho World merely uses this fact to illustrate a comment upon the infallible manner in which Government Avork is scamped. But eloes it not suggest something of far greater moment? Ono by ono the Avell-trustrd faiths of our youth are being stripped of all comfort. Inexorable science has taught us that grim eloath lurks in the Avhisky bottle, in tobacco, anel many other joys. Anel now — horrible thought! —avo are shown that there is no confielence to bo placeel in tho lamp-post in which our ancestors ever find a faithful support when the hour Avas late, anel the sick fricnel had needed a dcaleif reading to !

apropos of hats off iv a public office wo havo flic following : — Ho Avas a junior clerk in a bank, anel Avas sent with a message from his manager in Flinders lane to another big bank manager in Collins street. Whilst the Collins street manager read the note anel answered it, ho (the junior) leaned in an easy attitude against the mantelpiece Avith his hat cocked over his brow. As tho manager handed him the reply he asked, "What is your name r'' " So-anel-so." "What elo you elo in the bank?" " I'm tho exchange clerk, sir." " Well," saiel tho manager, Avith crushing dignity, " Mr. So-and-so, exchange clerk of the Bank, next time you go into a gentleman's office remember to remove your hat." Tho youth Avas not abashed— not much. Ho replied, "Sir, Avhencver I go into a gentleman's office I am asked to take a scat."

The House of Lorel has passeel a private bill to enable the executors and surviving trustee of the Avill of the hi.to Augustus John Smith to surrender existing leases anel accept a new lease of tho Scilly Isles. The late Augustus Avas a benevolent despot; under his rule, the saiel islands Avero most prosperous—ne> taxes, no licenses, no pauperism. He founded schools, at which he made attendance compulsory ; linked the isles to the mainland Avith a submarine cable, and generally Avas a progressive, cheery olel sort. He had purchased a lease of tho islands from tho Crown in 1830. Athelstanc Avon them from the Danes in 028. Henry Beaiielere grantee! them to Tavistock Abbey, with Avhosc possessions they pascel to the Crown tempo Bluff King Hal. Elizabeth leased tboin to tho Godolphins. Blake captured them, 1051, for the Parliament. Although "King" Augustus Smith Avas a good fellow, the principle by which he was granted practically despotic powers over a, population of more than 2000 Avas essentially a bad one.

An American exchange has the following illustrative anecdote : —3lr Emory Storrs, of Chicago, Avas elining recently in London at Minister Loavoll's, and near him sat the Duke of Argyll, who during the conversation expressed surprise that Chicago should havo treated Oscar Wildo—"a man whom avo think nothing of, if wo think of him at all"—so well. "It's all a mistake, your grace," replied 31 r Storrs; "wo Intel nothing to elo Avith Wilde in Chicago." " But I certainly read in the Now York and Boston papers long accounts of his reception in your city." "True, your grace," answered the Chicago lawyer ; " but the recent growth of Chicago lias maelo it tho metropolis of the United Stateis, and all the seaboard cities arc jealous of her, and say spiteful things about her." Mr Loavcll, of Boston, Avas about to interject a remark just here, but Mr Storrs silenced him Avith a significant look. After the meal, and on the Avay upstairs, the American Minister touched Mr Storr's arm, and Avhispered: "You got out of that very well, Storrs. Sinful, but patriotic."