IN THE GALLERY.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4080, 19 August 1884, Page 4

IN THE GALLERY.

I had the honor of leaving Napier by tho first direct steamer for Wellington, so a warm Liberal told me, as it was the opening of the breakAvater scheme, and shewed what would bo done eventually, Avhen Mr Ormond had accomplished all ho desired. I might have felt gratified and grateful at tho time, but gratitude is, as Sir George Grey once telegraphed to a Napier resident, short-lived, and when I found myself at sea, and found the good steamer Southern Cross bowled along grandly, partly through her rolling capabilities, I Avas not so satisfied with the first direct steamer, and must give my preference to a trip in the 800 j urn, so long as I go to sea in one of the largo steamers.

Well, it has been a Avonderful Aveek in the House. I have nearly worn out a pair of trousers by tho constant friction of sitting in one chair in the Press room, Avaiting for the developments that have never come. On Sunday evening—about half an hour after my arrival—l luicav as much of the formation of tho Ministry as I do tonight, Avith the solitary exception of the inclusion of Mr Richardson, and even that fact has not reconciled mo to my sitting nine hours or so a day in a chair, only to repeat, it comcth not. Each day's experience has boon like its neighbor. At 10 in the morning somo Avonderful information was vouchsafed to you : some enterprising individual had been flying a. kite, and you rushed to the telegraph office iv tho corner to Avire it. At 11 it Avas flatly contradicted, and you began to feel mad you had sent tho information, and began to think how very small you would feel, and how your readers Avould groan at your tales or laugh at your folly. Providentially Aviring is expensive, or you would have telegraphed again to Mr Printer to keep that piece of absurdity out of the paper. At 12 what you had heard an hour before was all Avrong, and what you learned at 11 Avas all right, and once more you breathed and thanked your stars you had not wired contradicting yourself, and blessed your luck, and sent for your half-junt and drank it in peace, feeling choritable to all mankind and yourself iv particular, and chuckled what a hit you had made. As it neared 1 your conscience and the proofs of your ability began to disappear ;it seemed as if after all you bad been making a fool of yourself, and it Avas hard lines. At 2 you finished your smoke in the room Avhere your troubles began, and Avhero fresh complications Avere being dinned into your ears. You grasped your pencil and telegraph form convulsively. Something fresh ought to be Avired, but as a man of sense you left it alone. At 3 tho perspiration Avas standing thick on your broAv ; you had beard a whisper that all is not as it should be with tho Ministry, and you make another spasmodic effort to send something along. At 4 you thank your stars you arc not connected Avith one of those beastly morning papers, and so you can smoke and laugh. At 5 you get tho evening papers, but small comfort you get there. You either learn that what you rejected is dished up, or what you furnished is contradicted, and once more you are in horror and tribulation. Hour succeeds hour in the same style till midnight, Avhen you throAV yourself on a wearied bed, only to dream of an impossible Ministry which would at once rub out all your trials and troubles. The whole week verged on the swearing iv of the Ministry. I never saw so much fuss made about a little profanity. A bargee avo aid not hesitate a moment " to give it lip," and I am reminded of the individual attired in sober grey—l don't know why grey is sober unless it :'s because claret AA-ould suggest something else —taking his stand iv the Avitness box, and the judge, mistaking him for a Quaker, asked if he would swear or affirm. He did not hesitate much, but simply replied he did not care a damn Avhich. Now, why can't our Governor act on tho wame principle and so save me bother.

By the way, my title is not altogether a misnomer. The Gallery Avas occupied for ten minutes on Thursday, and then Aye were as bad as ever. It was as Avhen in the Independence Avar a Yankee asked Avhere were the British ? Fn sin In quo, Avas the reply, to Avhich tho unabashed Yankee responded by enquiring how far that was from Quebec. Of course that Avas in the days Avhen the boots of your hotel did not have a classical education. But avo learnt nothing by attending except that wo would have to whiltlo our pencils till Tuesday, and as "hope deferred makcth the heart sick," a heavy step Avas heard descending the Gallery.