THE LIME-KILN CLUB.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3798, 17 September 1883, Page 4

THE LIME-KILN CLUB.

" I understood," began the President as tho meeting opened in due form, " dat quite a number of de members of dis club am gwine to be mar'ied doorin' de summer. Dats all right, an' I wish 'em much joy, an' shall bo glad to witness de obsequies of each an' cbcry one. But, I Avant to say a few words in gineral. In do fust place, am you gwine to mary fur love or fur a sort o' bizness partnership? If you answer fur love, lot me warn you to be sartin dat you doan' mistake do sentiment. Many a young man avlio thought his heart torn by love has plunged into matrimony to diskiver dat he simply had an admiration fur a 30dols. set of folsc teeth an' a high instep. If you answer fur a sort o' bizness partnership, let me warn you not to expect too much. You won't love de woman, an' she Avon't trust you. It Avill bo a sort o' boss trade in which both parties will be cheated and both continer to be mad about it. You kin git along arter a fashion, an' people who see her on her on your arm at a circus Avon't know how you fight at home.

"If you mils' marry, let common sense have a show in detransackshun. Doan' go off yer feet bokase you meet a gal Avho kin sing like a robin, smile like a rose, an' jump off a street kyar Avidoufc boderin' do driver to stop. A Avife will havo much to do besides singin' an' cultlvatin' dimples. If you amgAvinc to marry, ax yersclves how fur lOdols. per Aveek will go Avhen divided up fur clothes an' pervishuns an' house ront and fcwel an' incidentols. Befo' you fall in love Avid a gal avlio looks too sweet fur any thin' in a red plush sacquo, kinder figger on lioav many sich duds your income Avould afford her. Befo' you am all broke up ober a gal who plays de pianncr, talks French, paints landscapes an' reads poetry, jist sit down an' figger who am to cook yer meat and tatcrs, patch yer cloze, darn yer socks an' help ye make I'idols, to buy 15dols. worth of things. Befo' ye let a pair o' fiashin' eyes an' a cunnin' dimple captivate ye, look ai-oun' a littlo an' see if de owner has got a temper like a Avild cat. Marriage am' a lottery simply bckaso people take each odder unsight an' unseen. Le!: us now prognosticate to bizness.