THE BAD BOY AGAIN.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3676, 26 April 1883, Page 4

THE BAD BOY AGAIN.

HIS i'A AS A &LOGGEK. " You don't Avant to buy a good parrot, do you," said the bad boy to the grocery man, as he put his Avet mittens on the top of the stove to dry, and kept his back to the stovo so that he' could Avatch the grocery man and be prepared for a kick, if the man should remember the rotten-egg sign that the boy put up in front of the grocery last Aveek. "Naw, I don't Avant no parrot. Iliad rather have a fool boy around than a parrot. But AA-hat's the matter Avith your ma's parrot V I thought she Avouldu't part Avith him for anything." " AVell, "she Avouldu't until AVednesday night, but now she says she Avill not have him around, aud I may have h-df I can get for him. She told me to go to some saloon, or some disreputable place, and sell him, and I thought maybe he avouUl about suit you," and the boy broke open a bunch of celery and took out a few tender stalks and rubbed them on a codfish to salt them, aud began to bite the stalks, while he held the sole of one AA'ct boot up against the stove to dry it, making a smell of burned leather that came near turning the stomach of the cigar-sign. "Lookahere, boy, don't you call this a disreputable place. Some of the best people in this town come here," said the grocery man, as he held up the cheese-knife and grated his teeth as though he Avould like to jab it into the youth. "0, that's all right. They come here 'cause you trust. But you make up what you lose by charging it to other people. Pa Avill make it hot for you the last of the Aveek. He has been looking over your bill, and comparing it Avith the hired girl, aud she says we haven't ever had a prune, or a dried apple, or a raisin, or any cinnamon, or crackers and cheese out of your store, and he says 3-011 are Averse than the James Brothers, and that you used to bo a threecard monte man, and ho Avill have you arrested for highway robbery. But you can settle that with pa. I like you, because you are no ordinaiy sneak-thief. You arc a high-toned, gentlemanly sort of a bilk, and Avouldu't take airything 3-011 couldn't lift. 0, keep your seat, and don't get excited. It does a man good to hear the truth from one Avho has got the nerve to tell it. But about the parrot. Ma has been away from home for a Aveek, having a high old time in Chicago, going to theaters and things, and Avhile she Avas gone I guess the hired girl or somebodj- learned the parrot some iicav things to say. A parrot that can only say " Polly Avants a cracker" don't amount to anything. AVhat Aye need is new style parrots'that can converse on the topics of the day, and say tilings original. AVell, when ma got back I guess her conscience hurt her for the Avay she had been carrying on in Chicago, and so Avhcn she heard tho basement of the church Avas being frescoed, she invited the committee to hold the AVednesday evening prayer meeting at our house. First there Avere four people came, and ma asked pa to stay to make up a quorum, and pa said seeing he had two pair he guessed he would stay in, and if ma Avould deal him a queen he Avould have a full hand. I don't know Avhat pa meant, but he plays draw poker sometimes. Anyaviiv, there was c-Ica'cu people came, including the minister, and after the3 r had talked about the neighbors a spell, and ma had showed the Avomen a new tidy she had Avorked for tho heathen, with a motto on it which pa had taught her, ' A contrite heart beats a bob-tailed Hush,' and pa had talked to the men about a religious silver mine he avus selling stock in, Avhich he advised them as a friend to buy for tho glory of the church, they all Aveut in the back parlor and the minister led in prayer. The minister got to the 'Amen,' aud polly shook hisself and said, ' AVhat j-ou giving us,' and the minister got up and brushed the bird seed oil' his knees and he looked mad. I'a said to me to take that parrot out of doors, and that seemed to make them all good-natured again. I took the cage, aud as I avus going out tho door the parrot ruffed up his feathers and said ' Dammit, set 'em up,' and I hurried out Avith the cage for fear he Avould say something bad, and the folks all held up their hands and said it Avas scandalous. Say, I wonder if a parrot can go to hell with the rest, of the community r AVell, I put the parrot in the Avoodshed, and after they all had their innings;, except pa, Avho acted as umpire, the meeting broke up, and ma says its the last time she Avill have that gang at her house." "That must luu'C been where your pa got his black eye," said the groceiy-man, as he charged the bunch of celery to the boy's pa. " Did the minister hit him, or avus it one of the sisters ': " " O, he didn't get his black eye at prayer meeting," said the bo 3', as he took the mittens off his stove and rubbed them to take the stiffening out. "It avus from boxing - . I'a told my chum and 111 c that it was no harm to learn to box, cause avc could defend ourselves, and he said he used to be a holy terror Avith the boxing gloves Avhen he was a boy, aud he has been giving us lessons. AVell, he is no slough, now I tell you, and handles himself pretty Avell for a church member. I read in the paper lioav Zach Chandler plaj'crl it on Colliding by getting Jem Mace, the prize-fighter, to knock him .silly, and 1 asked pa if he Avouldu't let me bring a poor bo3 r avlio had no father to teach him boxing, to our house to learn to box, and pa said certainly, fetch him along. He said he Avould be glad to do anything for a poor orphan. So I Avent down in the Third AVard and got an Irish boy by the name of Dully, avlio can knock the socks off 11113' boy in the AVard. He a prize-fight once. It Avould have 3-011 laugh to see pa tell him lioav to his hands and guard his face. He tolH Duff 3- not to be afraid, but to strike out ancß hit for keeps. Dully said ho avus afraid paj -would iiind. if lie hit him, ;uid pa .said :■ ' Nonsense, boy, knock me down if 3-011 can, andTAvill laugh ha .' ha !' AVell, Duffy he hauled back and tfave pa one in the nose and another in both eyes, and cuffed him on the ear and punched him in the stomach, and lammed him in the mouth aud and made his teeth bleed, and then he gave him a side-Avinder in both eyes, and pa pidled oft'the boxing-gloves and grabbed a chair, and avc adjourned and Avent down stairs as though there Avas a panic. I haven't seen pa since. AVas his eye very black r" "Black, I should say so," said the grocery-man. "And his nose scorned to be trying to look into his left ear. He Avas at the market buying beefsteak to put on it." "' Oh, beefsteak is no account. I must go and see him and tell him that an oyster is the best thing for a black eye. AVell, I must go. A boy has a pretty hard time running a house the Avay it should be run," and the boy went out and hung up a sign in front of the grocery, " Frowsy Butter a Spcshall 1/. ''—Peck's Sun.