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Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3142, 23 July 1881, Page 4

A contractor in the Highlands was waited upon by a deputation of his workmen to make ' no a pit of difference in the wages, but shust a weo shynge in the time for paying.' On questioning the deputies, he found that they wanted to be paid weekly instead or fortnightly, but they also wanted the fortnight's wages weekly. ' Why, my lads,' exclaimed the astonished employer, 'you are demanding exactly double wages !' ' Hoots, no sir !' replied one of them. ' It's shust as more as less than the same wages, but you must shust paid us twice a faster as evermore.' Of a North Countryman who was both parish clerk and schoolmaster it is related that, when he was compelled to resign his scholastic duties to a qualified teacher from a training-college, he heard the new master tell his pupils "'A 'is an indefinite article. ( A' is one, and can be applied only to one thing. You cannot say ' a cats,' 'a dogs,' but only 'a cat,' 'a dog.'" " Here's a pretty fellow you've got to keep school! He says that you can apply the article ca ' only to nouns of the singular number; and here have I been saying e A-men'allmy life, and your reverence never once corrected me !" Deafness is a very inconvenient infirmity, as was exemplified the other day by the parish clerk of a Shrewsbury church, who hearing the vicar " booming away" over his head, but not comprehending a word he said, concluded that lie was speaking to the congregation about some new hymn-books that had just been introduced. " There will be a baptismal service this afternoon at three o'clock," said the clergyman, " when parents are earnestly requested to bring their children to the font." People who have none," ejaculated the clerk, " can be supplied in the vestry at sixpence each."