MISCELLANEOUS

Daily Southern Cross, Volume XXX, Issue 5123, 23 January 1874, Page 2 (Supplement)

MISCELLANEOUS

Hun >>w Memheis UaLints What u me due-, hick. lu\c bc-^t ' win, Poit, of COUlbO A l)oai ding establishment: \ cupenti'i's shop. What nation produces most maniacs ' — Fascination l'awnbiokeis prefer customers who aie "Without any ledeennng (ju.ilities. fnic(l\ tin tin* N.vdei's Ntnkc : Knock it ion is the fall of night like a hoy being whipped ' \\ liv, v lien it uuscs little howls A dog w ith two tails was been in London the other day One belonged to an o\, and was earned in the mouth of tliu dos_ r How He S,n\ Tallcjiaud being boihucd on one occasion, by a 111.111 who squinted awfully, wuh seveial inipoitunato questions concerning hi.s ley, recently biokcu, lophcil, It is quite crooked, as \ou see." Arc you mad at Minnie Smith, Torn 9 You nc\cr speak to her any moie.' "1 guess I don't speak to her ! Mother won't "low me , she weai s the same dress exery d.i\, and Sunday, too '"' London ladies are enjoying a perfect mania foi h'.vi k silk stockings, which aro now so mm m« illy worn tli.it street-corner loatni', is almost done nw.iy ■with 111 the ('!u^li~.li m( tii>|M>li^ A sli 11 p did gentleman travelling out AN «>•>< got a st'.it, lieside Ins wile in a mow did 1 n, by requesting the young man who sat l>> liei tr> " please watch that woman while he \s 1 nt into another car, as she hail fits. " A young lady having bought a pair of shoes too small, sent them to a second-hand .store to ha\e them sold, whereupon the Teutonic shop-keeper advertised them in his ■window as tollows : "For sale — A tight lad} \s shoos. " AYhat drawing-room minstrels have to put up with sometimes* Afl.ible Duchess to amateur teuoi, who has |iist been w iihling M. (Jounod's last — "('banning 1 chaiming' You must really get somebody to mtiixbue you to me '" Iiocently a young married man applud i<> tile Islington ( iiiatdians, London, foi admission into tlio workhouse, on the ground that Ins witc h.ul deseited him. On being asked how many chddicn he had, he said theie w as only one child, whom his wife had taken w ith her. He was admitted to the house. Practical : An old Dutch tavern-keeper had his third wife, and being asked his ie\\ b of matrimony, replied, " Veil den, you see, he first time I marries for love— dat vash goot ; den I marries for peauty — dat -.su-h goot, too, apout <is goot as de first ; but dis time 1 mames for moiaey, and dis is pettei as poth '" Old Cooney took a practical view of things Satisfactory Either "Way : A IVIi^som 1 judge lately delivered a unique dcatli &enteuce. He said to the candidate for the gallows • — " If guilty, you nchly deserve the fate which awaits you , if innocent, it will be a gratification for you to feel that you were hanged without such a crime on your con science • in either case, you will be delivered from a world of care." A Scotch Wife's Experience : A more or less worthy Scotch wife was remonstrated with by hci minister for her habit of beating her husband ; she explained that hei husband's conduct was not all that it ought to be. The minister, recommending kindness and forgiveness, enjomed hei no more to use hei list*, and nails, but to '• heap coals of fire upon his head." — "Weel, mimstei, ' replied the now enlightened wife, "since you say aae, I'll try the coals, but I may tell ye that twa or tin co kettles o' boiling w.itci hac wtocht nac impio\cnient ' The Jem3 r gnls> will marry a civilian with a smiling countenance ; but if you w ish to see a jiroud and ti uimphant beaiing, behold a Jersey girl sail to the altar with an olliccr ! A few out of every regiment are caught and made Benedicks, and theic is great lcjon my over the tiuasure. They all have a pcrvei se, infatuated, and thoroughly feminine lo\ e for a scarlet coat, esteeming the faithless little figure of an officer more than the whole Itody of a wituous citi/cn. "0, que j'ainic le mihtahe !" Wheie have not K\os daughters sung it, and will they ever cease o do so ? — Beiijravia. The following singular bill for hanging and boiling a friar is extracted from an old document. Of course a friar ought not to have been boiled , this we may premise with, lint it is extracted f 10111 an old document " Account of the hanging and pai bodmg of Friai Stono, at Canterbury, in 1 7y'M— 1'aid foi half a ton of timber to make a pan of gallows for to haii!» Friar Stone, 2s. fid ; to a carpenter, for making the same gallows, and and the dray, Is. 4d. ; to a l.ibonier that digged the hole, 3?1. ; other expenses of setting up the .same, and carnage of the timber from Stablcgate to the Dungeon, Is.; for a hmrde, fid ; for a load of wood, and for a horse to draw him to the Dungeon, 2s. 3d. ; paid two men that set at the kettle and parboiled him, Is. ; to three men, that carried his quarters to the gates, and sat them up, Is , for halters to hang him, and Sandwich cord, and for screws, Is.; for a woman that sutured the kettle, 2d. ; to him that did execution, fib Sd ; total, 14a. Sd " It will be seen 111 these days of high priced labour how much cheapei they winked in those days.