The Art of Giving and Receiving

Dominion, Volume 31, Issue 142, 12 March 1938, Page 1 (Supplement)

The Art of Giving and Receiving

i i ~ —ITHOUT being ultra-finicky, I like what I term a human touch / about my gift—by which I mean I like to think it has been \ X / selected with my personality definitely in view; that the sender y y really has considered me as an individual and not merely as a name; that he has endeavoured to square his purchase with my character, temperament and aspirations (or at least, so far as they are known to him) ; that care and thought have been bestowed on his selection; that it truly is an expression of his overwhelming gratitude to me for my existence ; that he has been prompted to give me something with the idea not so much of pleasing me as of signalising his profound appreciation and esteem,” writes “J.W.” in the “Birmingham Post.” I “The receiver has a part to play in this business of present-giving no less well defined than that of the giver. Maybe, it is human nature to fasten on the substance rather than the shadow’. Where the present does not come up to expectations the receiving end is apt to be hard, though, of course, it should not be, and is not, when the receiver, so to speak, attunes his mind to that of the giver and observes the spirit that found expression in something of intrinsic value.

“A gift, after all, is only an excuse. If it is well worth having, so much the better, but If it does not happen to square with one’s high hopes and aspirations, it is not to be valued any the less so long as one of certain of the feeling that prompted the giver. True, the art of giving may call for neceties of selection and the exercise of thought and care, but fundamentally the present’s

value to the receiver remains the same, be it a handkerchief or the wealth of Sheba’s queen.

“A gift, indeed, is first and last a tribute. ‘Gifts are scorned,’ said Dryden, ‘when the giver is despised’—a line that easy, dutiful givers w'ould do well to ponder. Those of us on the ought-to-have-something lists can hardly fell well disposed tow'ards such as make a duty of the custom and leave us wondering how far their compassion is sincere and how far they are actuated by seasonal conventionalities. “Thus it happens that, both as receiver and giver, I am aware of certain things I must observe. As a receiver I must recognise the spirit behind my gifts, realising thereby that the present comes from the heart rather than the head. “As a, giver, I must try to find somefUing that conforms to my receipient’s temperament, that he will appreciate as much for itself if possible as the feeling that goes with in and which it expresses. If I can surprise him, so much the better. “Secrecy is one of the cardinal rules of successful present-giving, for w’hat pleases us more than to receive a gift we did not expect, that accords with our personality, and has obviously been chosen with our nature specifically in view? Perhaps an amalgam of these three principles constitutes a hundred per cent, success in the business of present-giving. One or other at least must play its part if the gift is not to be a dutiful one.”